Beautiful Broken souls
by Shinigami-cat
Summary: "Please. I know you can hear me. Just please… kill me. Kill me. I want to die. Please."  "That would be impossible, da."  I suck at summarys. Way better summary inside.
1. prologue

**Shinigami-cat: **When life gives you lemons, fan girls get nose bleeds

**Summary: Matthew Williams just wants to be noticed. He wants someone to see him and remember him. He wants to know that he isn't just a fixture in the background. In enters Gilbert ****Beilschmidt, a cocky guy who just moved to town with his brother (Ludwig) and two supposed step brothers (Francis and Antonio). He has a mysterious past that seems to be filled with blood and violence. He also seems to have taken a liking to Matthew. Is this a good thing of a bad thing?**

**Warning:**

**Blood, violence, gore, cursed words and at least shounenen-ai**

**Beautiful broken souls**

**Prologue**

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><p><em>I've written songs<br>In the dark, in the dark, in the dark, in the dark  
>I've felt inspired<br>In the dark, in the dark, in the dark, in the dark  
>I hide myself<br>In the dark, in the dark, in the dark, in the dark  
>Used to be afraid<br>Of the dark, of the dark, of the dark, of the dark  
>Those in the light know we die<br>In the dark, in the dark, in the dark, in the dark_

'_In the Dark' by Flyleaf._

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><p>The boy gasped for breath, the thick smell of smoke still clung to his cloths even in the rain. He was glad it was raining. It hid his tears well. Pain still ripped through his trembling body. He couldn't walk anymore. He collapsed next to an old oak tree. If he was lucky maybe it would be struck by lightning and end his existence. He couldn't live with the guilt anymore.<p>

He looked at the charred flesh on his arm and legs. They stung like hell but it could have been worse. He could have died like… oh god he couldn't bear to remember what had just happened. It was the worst thing he had ever seen; screaming people, burning flesh, random explosions and the bodies. The whole thing made him feel like he was going to be sick. He was so afraid of what would happen now.

He rested his head against a tree and cried harder. He just wanted his suffering to end. "Please." He whispered to the heavens. "Please. I know you can hear me. Just please… kill me. Kill me. I want to die. Please."

"That would be impossible, da." Said a voice. He looked up to see a man standing in front of him. He had platinum blond hair, purple eyes, wore a tan trench coat and a light pink scarf. He seemed unaffected by the torrential down pour.

"Who the hell are you?" He growled. The man smiled childishly at him.

"I'm Ivan. It is good to see you Gilbert." Ivan said with a hint of false happiness.

"How the fuck do you know my name?"

"I know more then you know Gilbert." Said Ivan. "I know how the fire started. I also know all about you and your brother and your friends."

Gilbert didn't like this at all. No one should know anything about them. "Like hell you know anything." He growled.

Ivan laughed again. "I know all about you because I'm in the same situation as you and the others." Gilbert looked at Ivan in disbelief. "I guess it is a little strange to meet someone like you, da?" Gilbert slowly stood up and bit his bottom lip to stop himself from screaming in pain.

"What the hell do you want Ivan?"

"I want to make a deal."

Gilbert laughed. "What could you possibly offer me?"

Ivan smirked. "A second chance." Gilbert stopped laughing. Could he possibly get a second chance? He already lost it years ago, and he so desperately wanted it back again. He would do anything for a second chance at it.

"What do I have to do?" He asked.

Ivan smiled. "You just have to answer a little riddle okay?"

Gilbert nodded. "Let's hear it."

Ivan chuckled. "I am a word. I am a sad word, such a terribly sad and lonely word. I mean anger, pain, malice, suicide, murder, death, wrath and jealousy. I can occasionally mean love, happiness, life and beauty. I'm said almost every day but no one truly knows what I mean. What am I?"

Gilbert glared at Ivan. "How the hell am I supposed to know that?" Ivan chuckled.

"If it was simple do you think that there would be many in our situation?"

Gilbert pouted. Ivan did have a point. "What's in it for you?" He asked. "I figure out the riddle and then what? Are you going to steal my answer and use it for yourself?"

Ivan shook his head. "I don't want another chance. Being here is way more fun than being there."

"How long do I have to answer?" He asked.

"You have until the day you die." Said Ivan with a smirk. "The others can answer as well. It's more fun to solve riddles with friends, da?" Ivan turned and walked away from Gilbert.

"Wait! How will I find you again?"

"Oh, I'll find you!" He called over his shoulder as he disappeared into the rain.

Gilbert shuddered and slid back down the tree trunk. Answer a riddle and have a second chance. He was so excited and terrified at the same time. Could he get a second chance just by solving a stupid riddle? The thought was just too amazing. He could finally end this vicious cycle of never ending torture. He had to solve that riddle a soon as he could.

**TBC**

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><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>Hope you all like that. And please if there is anyone kind enough to tell me how the high school system works in America I would be very grateful. All I know is that there are sophomores and seniors.


	2. New neighbours

**Shinigami-cat: **Woot next chapter!

**New neighbours**

_If I wasn't here tomorrow  
>Would anybody care<br>Still stuck inside this sorrow  
>I've got nothing and going nowhere<em>

'_Would it matter' by Skillet_

* * *

><p>Matthew Williams sat on the Victorian style window seat in his room. He was quietly sketching away. He wasn't drawing anything really. He just needed to do something with his hands other then cut himself.<p>

He stared cutting himself around the end of middle school. He was just so tired of no one knowing who he was and acting like he didn't exist. He cut himself so he could remind himself the yes he was real. That he did exist. That he wasn't just imagining that he was real. Every now and then people would see him and talk to him but they would forget about him. Even his brother forgot him sometimes.

But he had been clean for a year. Meaning he hadn't cut himself obviously. He stopped cutting himself in his freshman year of high school. This was because it was the first time in the history of his school life where a teacher asked him a question. Granted he didn't know the answer, but it was the fact that the teacher actually noticed that made him so happy. Because of that teacher Matthew now loved history, but this still doesn't mean that he wasn't tempted to start again every now and then.

He paused from his sketching and gazed out the window. He noticed that the huge two story house (three if you include the attic) across the street had been sold. He hummed to himself. That house had been empty for as long as he could remember. He sighed to himself. Now where were the local junkies going to go get high?

His momentary thought was interrupted by his brother running into his room. "Mattie." He cried excitedly. "We're going to get new neighbours." He exclaimed.

Matthew smiled half-heartedly. His twin brother Alfred. He was loud, obnoxious, and had a hero complex. In short he was everything Matthew wasn't. "I know Alfred." He said. Alfred smiled.

"But I bet you don't know who is moving in."

"You don't either." Matthew pointed out. This made Alfred pout.

"It doesn't matter Mattie." He said. "I heard that they are moving in today."

Matthew raised an eyebrow. "Really? Seems a little fast."

Alfred shrugged. "Maybe they have kids and want to make sure that they start school with everyone else." Matthew sighed. It was possible, but he wasn't sure he wanted more people ignoring him or forgetting he existed. He looked out the window and noticed that a moving van had pulled up in front of the house.

"Looks like you were right Alfred." Said Matthew. Alfred beamed.

"The hero is always right!" Said Alfred as he pulled Matthew towards the door.

"What are you doing?" Asked Matthew.

"We are going to help them out Mattie." Said Alfred with his best hero smile on. "Because that is what hero's do." Matthew let his brother drag him out of the house and across the road.

A huge black 4wheel drive pulled into the driveway and out stepped three people; a blond with slicked back blond hair (who stepped out of the driver's seat) he looked he was about to kill someone, another blond with shoulder length wavy blond hair (that reminded Matthew of his own hair cut) he seemed tired and finally a brunet with tan skin and green eyes yawned as he got out of the car and muttered something about tomatoes.

"_Mine Gott_ you two are so annoying." Muttered the short haired blond.

"Oh but Ludwig." Whined the blond with longer hair. "We were so tired. Why couldn't we stop?"

"Francis is right _amigo._" Said the brunet. "That was really too long to sit down."

Ludwig rolled his eyes and went over to talk to the movers. Alfred thought that this was the perfect time to introduce himself. "Yo what's up?"

The brunet turned around and waved. "_Hola amigo._" He said. The guy called Francis looked over at Alfred.

"So you guys are our neighbours?" He asked. Matthew looked up at Francis in shock. He noticed him?

"Totally." Said Alfred. "So I'm Alfred the hero and this is my younger bro Matthew." He nudged Matthew in the rib cage.

"Alfred." Hissed Matthew. He didn't like it when Alfred did that. It always left bruises.

"Well I'm Francis and this is Antonio." He pointed to the brunet. "And that guy over there is Ludwig and Gilbert is… Antonio where is Gilbert?"

Antonio shrugged. "Probably lost. He never was that good at following traffic signs." The sound of a motorbike filled the street. "Found him." Said Antonio happily as a black Harley pulled into the drive way. The guy on the motorbike got off and removed his helmet. He quickly shook his head making his silver hair fly about in the air.

"I thought I lost you guys for a second there." He said.

"Hay, meet our neighbours Gilbert." Said Antonio. "This is Matthew and this is Alfred… or is it the other way around?"

Gilbert turned to face them "Hi." He said casually to Alfred, but when his gaze fell on Matthew his eyes widened and so did Matthews. Gilbert was obviously albino, his skin colour was the same as his stuffed polar bears fur, his silver hair looked so light and his eyes, oh his blood red eyes were gorgeous. Gilbert smiled. "_Auch hallo, du __hübsches Ding._" He said.

Matthew's face went red. "_Um hallo es ist schön, Sie zu treffen._" Matthew gasped. When did he learn German? Gilbert smirked.

"So you know German?" He asked.

Matthew shook his head. "I've never spoken it. I don't even know what I said." Gilbert, Antonio and Francis laughed.

"Good one Matthew." He turned his attention to Ludwig. "Oi Ludwig stop being antisocial and meet the neighbours." Ludwig reluctantly walked over to where everyone was. When he was an arm's length away Gilbert slung his arm over Ludwig's shoulders. "So this is my little brother Ludwig. Ludwig this is Alfred and Matthew."

"Hi." He said. Matthew and Alfred waved. Ludwig turned his attention back to Gilbert. "I assume you want the basement again?"

"Hells yes." Said Gilbert. "Why would you even ask that?"

"So you guy's going to our high school?" Asked Alfred (trying to get attention again. Attention whore).

"If it's the one down the road then yes." Said Ludwig.

"Sweet. Matt and I are both sophmore's." And just for emphasis he slung his arm over Matthew shoulder. Matthew just sighed. It was obvious that they wouldn't care what grade they were in, but Alfred just had to say it anyway.

"That's so cool." Said Antonio. "We're all sophmore's too. Well except for Ludwig he's a freshman."

"That's right." Said Gilbert. "My little brother is just a freshman. They grow up so damn fast."

"That's cool. So what you guy's all live together or something?"

"That's right." Said Gilbert. "Brothers have to stick together."

"Dude there's no way that you're brothers." Said Alfred.

"Alfred." Whispered Matthew. "Haven't you ever heard of adoption or step brothers?" Sometimes he wondered how Alfred could be so stupid.

"Matthew is right." Said Francis. "Antonio and I were adopted and Gilbert and Ludwig are blood brothers. Wonderful isn't it? So much brotherly love here right?" He put his arms around Antonio and Gilbert who quickly pushed him away.

"Quit implying insect." Grumbled Gilbert.

Francis pouted. "But it isn't incest if we aren't related. Besides," he said with a wink. "Antonio doesn't mind when we do it."

"What?" Asked Antonio. "Sorry I wasn't paying attention. I was looking at the flock of doves."

Gilbert looked up and swore. "Fucking doves. Let's hurry up and move this crap inside."

"Dude, we'll totally help." Announced Alfred. "Just tell us where to move boxes and we'll do it!"

"Thanks _amigo's._" Said Antonio. He led them around to the boot of the car. He passed Alfred a box labelled kitchen. "Just take it into the kitchen okay?" Alfred took the box and walked off into the house. He then passed Matthew a box labelled Gilbert's crap. "Just take it to the basement okay?"

Matthew nodded and took the box inside. He was surprised at how clean it was. He thought that it would be covered in dust and lord knows what after all the stuff that supposedly happened in that house (junkies, drunken teens the usual).

Matthew quickly found the basement and went inside. It was dark but at least it was easy to find the light switch (right next to the door du). He noticed that some of the steps were rotted a little (because they were made of wood and the house has been empty since forever). He cautiously walked down the steps placing a little bit of weight on each one, to see if it could support him. He made it all the way down before disaster struck on the last step. As soon as he put his foot on it, it shattered sending Matthew tumbling forwards.

Matthew hit the ground with a thump and the box and everything in it went flying everywhere. He heard metal hitting the walls and floors. He slowly got up and had a look at what made the noise. What he saw both intrigued and shocked him. There all over the floor were knifes. Hundreds of them; short, long, serrated edges, double edged, meat cleavers, razor blades, scabbards, butterfly knifes, scalpels and a whole bunch that he didn't even recognise. There were even other things in there as well; pipes, spear heads, rope, cloth and a box of matches.

Why would Gilbert have all this stuff? Maybe he collected it or the box was mislabelled. That had to be it. He quickly went about collecting everything. He decided to pick up the stuff that wasn't sharp. He put the pipes back into the box. Soon he had put everything away again. He was glad (but not surprised) that no one came to check when they heard him fall. He put the box against the wall and was about to leave when he noticed the matchbox. He must have missed that.

He quickly picked it up and turned it in his hands. It wasn't a very new. Hell it looked like an antique. He opened it and was surprised that the matches had white head instead of the normal red heads. He heard in science that the white head matches were discontinued because they had the unfortunate tendency to spontaneously combust and explode.

He closed it again and ran his fingers over the box again. Soon he realized that he felt hot, like burning hot. He quickly took off his hoddie but that wasn't enough he felt like he was on fire. But he was too concerned with a more pressing problem. He was finding it difficult to breath. He started to cough and splutter like he was breathing in thick smoke. His head began to spin and he fell to his knees. He dropped the matchbox and instantly felt relieved. The feeling of being caught in a fire was gone. He gasped for breath and tried to steady his breathing.

"What the hell was that?" He gasped. "First I'm speaking German and now my body think's it's in a freaking fire?"

This was too much for Matthew. He got up dusted himself off and decided to get the hell out of there. When he looked up at the door he noticed Gilbert was watching him with a smile. "_Vergessen, wie zu atmen_?"

Matthew glared at him. "_Ich war dumm Würgen._" He snapped. Matthew slapped his hands over his mouth. He did it again! Why was he doing that? It didn't make sense! He couldn't speak it or understand it yet here he was listening to Gilbert and responding without knowing what he was saying.

Gilbert smirked. He looked straight into Matthew's eyes. "And you said you didn't speak German." Matthew blushed and ran past him and out of the house. No one seemed to notice him (which he was very grateful for. For once).

He ran straight into his room and locked the door. What the hell? What just happened? Maybe he was just tired. That had to be it. Yes he was just tired and stressed. That's probably it. He just needed to lie down and sleep. So that's what he did. He changed into his pyjamas and went to bed. He didn't have a peaceful sleep. It was full of fire and burning red eyes.

**TBC**

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><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>Revenge is sweet. Yet is also best served cold… I conclude that revenge is ice-cream!

**Translations:**

_**Auch hallo, du **__**hübsches Ding: **_Well hello, you pretty little thing.

_**Um hallo es ist schön, Sie zu treffen: **_Um hello it's nice to meet you too.

_**Vergessen, wie zu atmen?: **_Forget how to breath?

_**Ich war dumm Würgen: **_I was chocking stipid.


	3. The history teacher

**Shinigami-cat: **Prince: "How are you going to steal my princess?" Evil sorcerer: "With magic… Bitch."

**The history teacher**

_Why can't you let me be  
>Is nothing else important<br>Does my mind mean more to you  
>Cause if I carry on<br>Deliver us from evil  
>Screaming for your vanity<em>

'_Deliver us from evil' by Bullet For My Valentine _

* * *

><p>Matthew woke up in a cold sweat. He had been having nightmares for three days now. All of them were filled with fire and red eyes. It made him sick and scared all at the same time. He knew that he was just over reacting. Probably. Well it was natural right? Wouldn't you freak out if you started to speak a language you didn't know, like you had known it you whole life. He shook his head and got up to have a shower.<p>

Alfred was still asleep which meant Matthew could have a warm shower, instead of all the cold shower's he'd usually have because Alfred hogged all the hot water in the morning. Even in summer. How the hell do you use up all the hot water in the morning in summer? It was a mystery that Matthew didn't care to solve.

The water was nice and warm against his skin. It made him feel relaxed. The feeling was just too good. He was so wrapped up in his own world that he almost forgot what day it was. It was the first day of school. He groaned and hit his head against the tiles in the shower. He hated school. No one noticed him or payed attention to him. He would be pushed around and mistaken for Alfred. The only good thing about it was history.

History wasn't the subject Matthew was best at, but at least he got some attention from the teacher. He would ask Matthew questions and actually acknowledged him when he put his hand up to answer questions. He was beginning to wonder what the time was when the bathroom door flew open and in walked Alfred.

Matthew rolled his eyes. He wasn't even going to bother talking to Alfred in the morning. Without his daily dose of caffeine he was a zombie. Hell, a paedophile could have raped him and he wouldn't have noticed until he had a cup of coffee. When Alfred reached for his pyjama pants and walked over to the toilet Matthew turned away and rolled his eyes. He just hoped that Alfred was awake enough not to do what he thought he was going to do in his zombie state.

A few seconds later he heard the sound he feared. Alfred flushed. Matthew yelped as the warm water suddenly turned ice cold. He stuck his head out of the shower to yell at Alfred for being a dick. "Alfred what the hell?" Alfred still in zombie mode walked past the shower and out the door. Matthew huffed. "Probably going to make himself some coffee."

He quickly turned off the water and got dressed. Since he hadn't bothered to grab any cloths when he got up he had to dress in his pyjamas again (red singlet and white PJ shorts). He went down stairs to where Alfred was finishing of his coffee. "Morning… um… Mattie?" He said.

Matthew sighed. That was the normal morning routine for him. Wake up, go down stairs, hope that Alfred remembered him, make pancakes, have a shower, get dressed and go to school. "Morning Alfred." He said. "Remember school starts today."

Alfred sighed. "I know." He looked up at Matthew with hopeful eyes. "Are you going to make pancakes?"

"Yes Alfred. Go take a shower. They'll probably be done by the time you get out." Alfred grinned and ran up the stairs. Matthew couldn't help but smile. Even though Alfred was a right idiot sometimes, he was okay. He quickly got out the ingredients for making pancakes and got to work. He was surprised to find a note in the flour but he picked it up and read it.

_Dear Alfred and __Mike Mitchel Malcolm __Matthew_

_I'll be back tonight have a good day at school_

_Love dad._

Matthew sighed. He hated it when his dad forgot his name, but at least he got it right the fourth time. That had to count for something right? He put the note aside and continued to make the pancakes.

He had just stacked the last of them onto a giant plate as Alfred skidded into the kitchen and crashed into the table. "Sweet!" He said. As he started to chow down. Matthew smiled. It was moments like this where he could just relax and be happy. But all too soon they had to go to school. Alfred wore his favourite brown leather bomber jacket and jeans. Matthew was wearing his signature red hoodie with a white maple leaf and baggy sweat pants.

As soon as they stepped outside they were met with the most random they had seen all morning. Antonio was hanging upside down out the upstairs window, while Francis was hanging halfway out the window holding onto his ankles and Gilbert was rolling on the lawn laughing his ass off. Matthew face palmed. It was too early for this.

He looked up at Alfred to ask if they were going to take the car or walk when he realized that Alfred wasn't standing next to him anymore. Oh, no Alfred had to run across the road to see what the hell was happening. Matthew shook his head and walked over to his brother who was looking up at Antonio.

"What the hell happened?" Asked Alfred.

Antonio waved down at him. "Hi Alfred." He said in his usual happy care free way. "I sleep walked out the window."

"_Oui._" Said Francis. "Out my window. What were you thinking?"

"I'm thinking the blood is rushing to my head." Said Antonio as he started to sway. "I'm getting dizzy."

Gilbert laughed harder. "You idiot!" He gasped. "You moron! Stupid! Dummy! Stupid ass!"

"Could you stop laughing and help me pull him inside? Stop moving Antonio!" Cried Francis.

"I think I'm going to be sick!" Warned Antonio. This just made Gilbert laugh even more.

"Vomit I dare you!" He cackled. "West would love that!" Suddenly Francis and Antonio were pulled back inside and five minutes later they were walking out the door followed by a very angry looking Ludwig.

"One week." He said. "We haven't even been here for one week and you make total idiots out of yourselves."

Francis pouted. "It's not my fault Antonio decided to walk out my window."

Antonio blushed. "Sorry. But when I nodded off I smelt the most delicious food in the world. It smelt even better than tomatoes."

"No way!" Exclaimed Francis and Gilbert. They both knew that Antonio's favourite food was tomatoes.

Antonio nodded. "_Si._ It was really sweet, and it smelt like cake." He thought for a moment. "Oh, I know! It smelt like pancakes. But not the over the top ones that you make Francis. These ones were good."

Francis pouted. "My pancakes aren't over the top. They are perfect." Gilbert rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. Let's get to school before West throws a hissy fit." Francis and Antonio giggled at this while Ludwig's face went bright red. "Later Alfred." Said Gilbert before they walked off. Matthew sighed. He was invisible again. "Later Matthew _mein Vögelchen._"

Matthew rolled his eyes and said with extreme sarcasm. "_Sie sind so voll davon, nicht wahr?_" He clapped his hands over his mouth. He did it again. This was starting to really scare him.

Gilbert faked being hurt. "I'm so hurt Birdie." He said wiping away a fake tear. "Your words wound me so." His crimson eyes locking with Matthew's lavender. It sent chills up Matthew's spine. He didn't like the way Gilbert looked at him, or the way he knew what he was saying when he had no idea. Alfred was oblivious to the situation and dragged Matthew across the road back to their house.

"We're taking the car today." He said cheerfully.

**XoXoXo Page Brake oXoXoX**

Matthew looked down at his class schedule. He was a little disappointed at what he got but he was glad that he had history first thing in the morning and last thing on Fridays.

He quickly put his books in his locker and headed off. He hoped that he would get his favourite teacher again. When he got inside the classroom he took his usual seat up the back near the window. Slowly everyone else began to filter in. While that was happening Matthew looked out the window. He noticed that there was an unusually large number of crows (or were they ravens?) all over the campus grounds.

"What's up _mein Vögelchen?_" Matthew turned to see Gilbert looking at him with his blood red eyes and chilling gaze.

Matthew groaned. "_Was wollen Sie?_" He bit his tongue. Damn he did it again.

Gilbert chuckled. "Nothing. Birdie." He said as he sat down. "Guess we're in the same class then."

Matthew felt like crawling into a dark hole and dying. There was no way Gilbert could be in this class with him. He'd do anything to get out of this. He just wanted to enjoy history without Gilbert because he seemed like the type that would cause trouble. Which is something he really didn't want. "I guess we are." He muttered.

Suddenly the doors flew open and in walked the history teacher. He walked over to his desk and placed his briefcase on the desk. Matthew smiled at the teacher. Yes he had gotten his favourite teacher again.

The teacher had platinum blond hair, purple eyes and wore a pink scarf and a tan trench coat. The sound of a pen dropping made Matthew glance at Gilbert. He looked like he was trying to burn a hole through the teacher's head with his eyes. "Of all the people in the world." Gilbert muttered through gritted teeth. "Why did it have to be him?"

The teacher smiled childishly at the class. "Morning class. I'll be your history teacher for the rest of the year. My name is Ivan Braginski. But you all have to call me Mr Braginski, da."

**TBC**

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><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>So wow! Reviews are appreciated people!

**Translation**

_**mein Vögelchen:**_ my little birdie.

_**Sie sind so voll davon, nicht wahr?: **_You are so full of it aren't you?

_**Was wollen Sie?: **_What do you want?


	4. Are you following me?

**Shinigami-cat: **so… a little song, a little dance, I think France just stole my pants… WTF? FRANCE YOU S.O.B I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!... I OWN NOTHING!

**Are you following me?**

_I know there's something out there  
>I think I hear it move<br>I've never felt like this before  
>I wish you never told me<br>I wish I never knew  
>I wake up screaming<br>It's all because of you_

'_Scared' by Three days Grace_

* * *

><p>"So this semester." Said Ivan. "We are going to look at Medieval Europe. We will be looking at; the social status, daily life, knights, wars, religion and mythology. But first I'll call the roll." He got out a sheet of paper and a pen and began to call the roll. "… Beilschmidt Gilbert?"<p>

"_Ja _I'm here." Said Gilbert with venom dripping from his every word. Ivan smiled at him.

"It's been a long time since we've seen each other, da." This made some of the students give Gilbert and Ivan weird looks. Even Matthew looked at them strangely. Gilbert knew their teacher? This was a little unsettling. By the look in Gilbert' eyes and the way he spoke to him Matthew concluded that Gilbert hated him. He was so wrapped up in his own thoughts he almost didn't hear Ivan call his name.

"Here." He said. Matthew was the last one on the roll. The rest of the lesson went smoothly for Matthew until the last ten minutes of class. This is because Gilbert began to pass Matthew notes.

_Will this ass ever shut up?_

Matthew rolled his eyes and ignored the note. Suddenly another one appeared on his desk. Also from Gilbert.

_I'm talking to you Birdie! Don't ignore my awesomeness!_

Matthew once again ignored the note and tried to pay attention to what Ivan was saying, but he got bombarded with little bits of paper instead. All from Gilbert.

_I'm talking to you!_

_Why are you ignoring me Birdie?_

_Pay attention to me!_

_SEX! Now that I have your attention, talk to me!_

_Come on… What did I ever do to you in this life?_

_Talk to me!_

_Fine I'll go into depression._

_Depressed… So sad._

_Talk to me._

_Talk to me._

_How can you be so heartless Birdie?_

_Come on Birdie. Why are you refusing to talk with my awesomeness!_

_I'm going to cry!_

_I'm crying!_

_But only on the inside because I'm too awesome to actually cry!_

By the end of the lesson Matthew had a pile of paper on his desk. Why couldn't Gilbert just leave him alone? Today would have been wonderful if he just shut up and left him alone. The bell ended and first period was over. "I would like a word with Matthew and Gilbert before you leave da." Said Ivan.

Matthew curse under his breath. This wasn't happening to him. He had never been in trouble with a teacher before. He wouldn't have cared if it was his maths teacher but it had to be Mr Braginski. When everyone was out, Gilbert growled at Ivan.

"What do you want?"

Ivan ignored him. "I noticed you two passing notes during class. I didn't expect that kind of thing from you Matthew." Matthew felt really guilty, but why should he? Gilbert was the one passing the notes not him.

"Oh, get off your high horse Ivan." Barked Gilbert. Matthew was shocked that Gilbert would speak to a teacher like that. "Quite honestly I don't give a shit about what you have to say, so I'm leaving." He flipped Ivan the bird and stormed out.

Matthew expected Mr Braginski to be furious or at least angry, but instead he laughed. "You haven't changed a bit Gilbert." He turned his attention back to Matthew. "On a lighter subject, are you going to join the hocky team this year?"

Matthew nodded. "Of course."

"Glad to hear it. The team would suck if it lost its star player." Matthew could feel his face go bright red.

"I'm not that good…"

"You're too modest Matthew. You should probably head off to your next class now." Matthew nodded and left.

He checked his class schedule and sighed. Up next he had PE. Now Matthew was good at sport (but not as good as Alfred). There was only one thing that he didn't really like about it. Getting changed. In a rather small space. With a bunch of guys. That often mistook him for Alfred. Long story short first time he had PE in high school he ended up getting sprayed with freezing cold water and a beating because he was mistaken for Alfred. Fun times. Well ever since then he had been cautious of change rooms.

He cautiously entered. Good pretty much everyone was already changed and gone to the gym… Except for Gilbert. "Are you in all my classes or something?" Matthew grumbled.

Gilbert turned to him and smiled. "_Mein Vögelchen._" Matthew bit his tongue. Damn he really wanted tell him off, but what if he spoke in German again? He'd just have to keep quiet. Gilbert frowned. "_Mein Vögelchen_ won't speak to me? How come?"

"What the hell dose that even mean?" Asked Matthew. "I have no idea what the hell you're saying!"

Gilbert sighed. "_Mein Vögelchen_. It means my little birdie." He walked over to Matthew and gently pushed him against the wall. He put both his hands on either side of Matthew to prevent him from escaping. His face was so close to Matthews. He could feel Gilbert's hot breath against his face. It made Matthew's heart accelerate and is face go red. Almost as red as Gilbert's eyes. Gilbert smirked "Because that's what you are. You are mine. You are little. You are my birdie. Matthew Williams you are _mein Vögelchen._"

"_Ich bin nicht dein Vögelchen_." Matthew spat. He didn't care that he didn't know what he said. He just hoped what he said was insulting and would make Gilbert leave him alone.

Gilbert chuckled. "You're very cute when you try to act all tough Birdie." He grabbed Matthews chin with his right hand and tilted his face up. His red eyes blazing into Matthew lavender making Matthew's breath hitch in his throat. Gilbert's gaze looked predatory and he was the pray. "But you are _mein Vögelchen_. There is nothing you can do about it. Besides I how can I stop calling you that when you give me that cute face every single time." He let Matthew go and went back to changing while chuckling darkly. Matthew on the other hand ran out of there as fast as he could.

He ran to the roof and closed the door behind him. No one was going to miss him anyway. He fell to his knees and began to tremble. That was just… just too weird. Gilbert had just said that Matthew his and there was nothing he could do about it. That and Matthew just spoke in German again. He curled up into a ball and began to tremble.

"Why is this happening?" He asked himself. "Just why?" Gilbert was just freaking him out. He would just have to stay away from him as much as possible.

It was lunch time and Matthew was still on the roof. Well he did go down to get food but he didn't go to any of his classes. In case Gilbert happened to be in them. He couldn't stop thinking about how Gilbert had him pinned against the wall. It just made him… He didn't even know. He just felt weird.

The door of the roof slowly creaked open making Matthew jump. But he felt like running for his life when he saw who walked out onto the roof. Gilbert, with his best shit eating grin plastered to his face. "There you are Birdie." He said. "I was looking for you. It's not nice to run away from someone as awesome as me."

Matthew frowned. "Go away Gilbert." He said as calmly as he could. Gilbert looked genuinely offended.

"You want the one person in this whole school who notices you to leave you alone? No way." He took a few steps towards Matthew. Matthew in response took a few steps back. But soon Matthew ran out of roof. His back was pressed against the steel wire that prevented people from falling off.

"Go away." Matthew said. His voice was slightly more panicked. This seemed to make Gilbert more determined. Once again he placed his hand on either side of Matthew preventing him from escape.

"No way." He said. He leaned in closer to Matthew and whispered into his ear. "You know why?" Matthew was contemplating kicking Gilbert in the balls and running for it, but he really didn't want to do that to someone because well, it wasn't nice and he prided himself on being polite and kind. "Because you're too much fun." Growled Gilbert.

Okay screw being polite. Matthew kicked Gilbert as hard as he could and bolted. He practically flew down the stairs and down the hall. Why the hell was Gilbert acting so creepy? Maybe that was just him.

For the rest of the day Matthew felt like he was being watched, by a pair of burning red eyes. It scared him out of his wits.

**XoXoXo Page Brake oXoXoX**

"Where are you running_ mein Vögelchen_?" Called Gilbert.

'_Far away from you.' _Thought Matthew frantically. He pressed himself up against a wall and breathed heavily. This was too much. Why couldn't Gilbert just leave him alone? Oh, that's right he kicked him in the balls.

"There's no use running _mein Vögelchen_." Gilbert called again. "I'm going to find you."

Matthew slowly steadied his breathing. This was ridiculous. He shouldn't be so afraid of him. He should just stop running, but then again Gilbert doesn't sound too happy.

"Birdie? _Mein Vögelchen_? If you don't come out now your punishment is just going to be worse."

Matthew's eyes went wide. Punishment? What the hell? Gilbert is insane! He could hear Gilbert's footsteps getting closer to where he was hiding. _'Please don't let him find me. Please!' _Suddenly Gilbert's stopped walking. _'Please turn around!' _Matthew screamed in his mind. _'Please walk away! Walk away from me!' _Gilbert started to walk away. Matthew didn't breathe a sigh of relief until he couldn't hear Gilbert anymore.

Matthew smiled and slowly slid down the wall. Gilbert hadn't found him. "What are you smiling at _mein Vögelchen_?" Matthew almost gave himself whiplash he looked up so quickly.

There standing above him with a cocky grin on his face and his hands behind his back. Matthew tried to run but Gilbert was too quick. He grabbed Matthew by the hair with one hand and pushed him back up against the wall. He still had one hand behind his back.

"What good is a pet if it runs away?" Muttered Gilbert darkly. Matthew looked into Gilbert's eyes and began to tremble. His eyes were hungry and predatorily. Gilbert tilted his head slightly. "I'll tell you. It's not good for anything. I once had a hunting dog and it ran away. You know what I did to it when I found it again? Well do you?"

"No." Matthew whimpered.

Gilbert chuckled darkly. "I slit its throat." Gilbert quickly brought his other hand from behind his back and pressed something cold and metallic against Matthew's neck.

Matthew's eyes widened. Gilbert was going to kill him? _'This can't be happening. Please wake up! Wake up! This has to be a dream!'_

Gilbert laughed. "Goodnight. _Mein Vögelchen_." He quickly ran the blade across Matthew's neck.

**XoXoXo Page Brake oXoXoX**

Matthew jumped out of his bed. He had to put his hands over his mouth to stop the scream that was threatening to rip through his throat. That was the most terrifying thing he had ever experienced in his life.

He ran his fingertips over his neck and shivered. "Fine hail." He murmured. "It felt like fine hail running across my skin." Tears began to tumble down his face. He hated it. He didn't want to keep having nightmares like that. Ones that reduced him to a crying mess.

When he calmed down a little he looked over at his clock and sighed. It was one in the morning. But after a dream like that there was no way he could get to sleep again he sighed and got up. This was just depressing. He hadn't had a good night sleep in days. This was so not good for his health.

**TBC**

* * *

><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>Hi my people! Please review or Russia will come after you! Also if you review you get virtual cookies! I made a fresh batch!

**Translations:**

_**Ich bin nicht dein Vögelchen: **_I'm not your little birdie.

_**mein Vögelchen: **_my little birdie.


	5. Don't look so surprised

**Shinigami-cat: **When Chuck Norris enters a room he doesn't turn the lights on. He turns the dark off… I OWN NOTHING!

**Don't look so surprised**

But there's people like me  
>That nobody sees so nobody cares<p>

Why is it so hard to find someone  
>who cares about you?<br>When it's easy enough to find someone  
>who looks down on you<br>Why is it so hard to find someone  
>who can keep it together<br>when you've come undone?  
>Why is it so hard to find someone<br>who cares about you?

'_Someone who cares' by Three Days Grace_

* * *

><p>It had been one month since Gilbert had moved across the road from him. It had been one month since Gilbert had started tormenting him. It had been one month since he started having nightmares. It had been one month since he had a good night's sleep. Matthew felt like he was on brink of insanity. Gilbert just wouldn't leave him alone during school and on the rear occasion outside of school. He just didn't feel safe anymore.<p>

At the moment he was sitting on the Victorian window seat in his room frantically sketching away. He didn't care what he was drawing he just needed to draw something. Quick strokes filled the page, faster and faster. Matthew ripped the page out of his sketch book and began to draw on another page. He switched between blue, red and black. He continued to sketch until he had ripped all the pages out of his book. He was exhausted.

"Yo Matthew what's up?" Called Alfred as he walked into his brother's room. Matthew looked up at him and smiled weakly before resting his head against the window. Alfred picked up one of the many pieces of paper on the floor. "Dude." Said Alfred. "These look like they came right out of Dark Horse comics. This is so cool."

Matthew raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about Al?" Alfred grabbed a couple more pieces of paper and walked over to Matthew. He shoved them in Matthews face.

"Seriously Matthew, are you thinking of starting your own comic? Because these sketches are totally kick ass!" Matthew flipped through them and felt his heart sink. All his sketches were of his nightmares; different knifes covered in blood, different parts of his body ripped apart and broken, red eyes everywhere, always watching him, always drinking in his mangled corps.

"They're just sketches Alfred." Sighed Matthew. "They aren't that good."

Alfred gasped. "Not good? Seriously? These are some of the coolest (and goriest) things I've ever seen! Is this guy with the red eyes like the anti-hero?" He pushed a picture of a shadowy figure with red eyes into Matthews face. "And what about this guy? Is he like a criminal or something that Redeyes is out to kill?" He pushed picture of a guy with wavy hair into Matthews face.

"No Alfred." Mumbled Matthew. "The guy with the red eyes is a monster. Always going after the one person that no one would notice. He hungers for blood." Alfred nodded and looked picked up another picture.

"Can I keep this one?" He asked. He held it up to Matthews face. Matthew felt like screaming. This picture was one where the Red eyed guy was feeding on the wavy haired guy, while he was still alive.

"Take it!" Cried Matthew. "Take them all I don't want them! I never want to see them again!" Alfred frowned but gladly collected the pictures in his arms.

"Is there something wrong Matthew?" Asked Alfred before he left. "You seem really out of it.

Matthew looked up at Alfred and sighed. "I've been having nightmares all month." He confessed.

Alfred frowned and walked over to Matthew. "What about? You know you can tell me. Because I'm a hero and I'll do everything in my power to help you."

Matthew smiled weakly. "Thanks Alfred, but you're already holding my nightmares." Alfred looked down at the paper he was holding and then back to his brother.

"Seriously? Oh, shit." He picked up one of the pictures. "This wavy haired guy is you isn't it?" Matthew nodded. "But who is the guy with the red eyes… Gilbert?" Matthew nodded again. "But why are you so freaked out about him? He hasn't really been doing anything that bad."

Matthew bit his lip. Should he really tell Alfred what Gilbert had been doing? "He's… he's just been really creepy."

"How so?"

"He's been passing me notes during class and trying to find me all the time."

"Sounds like he wants to be friends."

Matthew shook his head. "No he doesn't. He practically cornered me the on the first day of school twice and said that I was his. He hasn't touched me or anything I think he just likes to freak me out but from the stuff he's been saying…" Matthew trailed off. He didn't want to say what he was thinking. Alfred patted Matthew on the head.

"Don't worry Mattie." He said. "I'm the hero. I'll protect you." He then left the room closing the door behind him.

Matthew sighed. His brother could do whatever he wanted. He personally didn't care. He just wanted to sleep. He let his gaze wander out the window. Antonio and Gilbert were lying on the lawn in front of their house looking up at the clouds. Matthew bit his bottom lip. He hated Gilbert with a burning passion. He was about to turn away when he caught sight of his brother walking over to Gilbert. Matthew gasped. Alfred wasn't stupid enough to do what he thought he was going to do was he?

Matthews suspicions were confirmed when Alfred slammed his foot into Gilbert's guts. Matthew groaned. Alfred was an idiot. He quickly ran down the stairs as fast as he could and out the front door. By the time he got there Antonio was trying his best to stop Alfred from killing Gilbert.

"Stay the fuck away from my brother!" Shouted Alfred as he tried to punch Gilbert.

Gilbert rolled his eyes. "What the fuck are you talking about? I've done nothing to him!"

"Don't lie!" Alfred barked. "Mattie told me how you said he was yours on the first day of school you sick fuck!"

Matthew face-palmed. This was getting ridiculous and embarrassing. He didn't expect Alfred to beat Gilbert into submission.

"As if!" Spat Gilbert. "Why the hell would I do something like that to him? He's probably lying!" Gilbert's words really cut Matthew. Why would he make something like that up?

"Is this true Gilbert?" Asked Ludwig who seemed to have dropped out of the sky. "Have you been bothering Matthew?"

Gilbert looked up at Ludwig and backed away slowly. "Um… West it isn't what you think… I um… the thing is… I… I'm dead aren't I?"

"You think?" Asked Ludwig. He grabbed Gilbert by the back of his shirt. "He won't be bothering your brother again Alfred." Ludwig then proceeded to drag Gilbert into the house. Antonio shook his head.

"Gilbert really needs to learn how to show his emotions properly." He sighed and looked up at Alfred then jumped back. "When did you get here Matthew?" Alfred turned around and also jumped back. Matthew face-palmed.

"I came over to make sure Alfred didn't do something stupid." He muttered.

"Well you don't have to worry about him anymore." Said Alfred. "Because the hero took care of it." Matthew rolled his eyes.

"Whatever Alfred. I'm going for a walk. I'll be back late." He turned and began to walk down the street. He needed to get away from these stressful situations.

**XoXoXo Page Brake oXoXoX**

Matthew was sitting under a tree in the park. It was oddly calming to just sit there and relax. He could already feel the stress of the past month melting away. It was weird but, whatever. He felt so relaxed that he fell in to a deep sleep.

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Matthew's eyes snapped open his eyes. Surprisingly he hadn't dreamt of anything. It was peaceful and calm and just plain awesome. No nightmares about Gilbert trying to kill him yay! He checked the time on his phone and groaned. It was pretty late, well for him it was.

Matthew had intended to go home before 4 but looks like that plan went down the drain. He shrugged, got up and immediately fell flat on his face. He had pins and needles running through his legs and now he had a head ach. "Damn it." He muttered. "Why did my legs have to do numb?" After stretching his legs he began to walk home.

As he nursed his aching head he happened to see a small child crying and… Gilbert? Was Gilbert harassing that poor kid? This guy had no shame. He was about to walk over when Gilbert suddenly started to climb a tree. Matthew frowned and looked at the tree. There was a tiny little ginger kitten up the top of the tree. Matthew watched Gilbert in awe. He swung effortlessly from branch to branch like he had been born in a tree.

Gilbert was now on the same branch as the kitten. He slowly crawled towards it with his hand outstretched. The kitten immediately ran towards Gilbert, up his arm and into his hair. Gilbert quickly descended the tree, pulled the kitten out of his hair and gave it back to the kid who quickly thanked him and ran off. Gilbert shrugged and pulled his hoddie over his head and oh no. he began to walk towards Matthew.

Matthew was too scared (and confused thanks to his dream) to run or move. Before he knew it Gilbert was walking passed him. "I'm sorry Matthew." He whispered.

"Eh?" Matthew was shocked. "What was that Gilbert?" Was Gilbert really apologising for tormenting him? Or was this some kind of joke? Gilbert sighed and removed his hoodie. It reviled that he had one hell of a black eye. Matthew gasped.

"I said I was sorry okay." Said Gilbert. "I guess you could say I've seen the error of my ways. Just kidding you Ludwig punched me." Gilbert poked the edge of the bruise for a bit and Matthew just looked at him in shock.

"If you're sorry why did you do it in the first place?"

Gilbert shrugged. "I can't help it. I've always messed around with things I've found cool. Okay it's a lame reason but it's true. I've always messed around with people like that. I've always messed around with Francis and Antonio like that so I just got used to treating people like that. By the way you look like shit Mattie."

Matthew shrugged he had dark circle under his eyes from the lack of sleep he was getting. "I still think I look better than you."

Gilbert smiled. "You're probably right, but whatever. I rock this look! I make black eyes look good."

Matthew rolled his eyes. "If you let Ludwig punch your other eye people will start calling you panda."

Gilbert smirked. "That would actually be pretty cool. I'll ask him to punch me again when I get home." Matthew giggled. He was surprised at how easy it was to talk to Gilbert. It was almost unsettling but still pleasant. "Anyway to sum things up; I'm a jerk, I'm stupid, you'd probably call me a creeper (although I think Francis holds that title) and I'm sorry. Friends?"

Matthew was hesitant. Well wouldn't you be if a guy stated that you were his and scared you so much that you had nightmares about them killing you every night for a month? But then again this Canadian had one big heart which meant he was very forgiving… Way too forgiving. So it was also his down fall. Before he could stop himself he could hear himself speaking. "Sure why not… just don't freak me out again."

Matthew felt like punching himself (or getting Ludwig too. He seemed really strong). "Sweet!" Said Gilbert. This was going to be the beginning of a very unusual friendship

'_Oh this can't end well.' _Thought Matthew.

**TBC**

* * *

><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>So… that was a little awkward to say the least. Now let us watch and see how their friendship blooms… REVIEWS KEEP ME ALIVE!


	6. Ghosts from his past

**Shinigami-cat: **Draw a circle that's the earth! Draw a circle that's the earth! Draw a circle that's the earth! I am Shinigami-cat! ... I OWN NOTHING!

**Ghosts from his past**

_Waking up with just one thing in mind  
>Eyes sewn shut so tear them open wide<br>I'm on the hunt, I'm on the prowl, I can almost taste you now  
>I'm on your scent, I'll track you down, I'm on you now<em>

'_Begging for mercy' by Bullet for my Valentine_

* * *

><p>Gilbert still scared the crap out of Matthew every now and then but at least it wasn't deliberate anymore. It was more of a case of Matthew spacing out and freaking out when Gilbert tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention. So it wasn't that bad.<p>

Matthew found out a lot about Gilbert; his family was from Germany, Francis and Antonio were his friends as long as he could remember, Then they became his step brothers after several nasty events, Gilbert had a pet canary called Gilbird, his favourite colour was red, he liked heavy metal but didn't mind listening pop and he had a fondness for cute things… Gilbert was also a self-proclaimed Prussian.

In turn Matthew told Gilbert things about himself; He was born in Canada but moved here with his dad and Alfred, he told him that no one really payed attention to him, he loved hocky and was a good player, he had a stuffed polar bear called Kumajiro, he liked the colour blue, his favourite subject was history, he liked pop music and rock and he liked to draw.

Yes within just two weeks they learned a lot about each other. It was amazing that they got along so well. Matthew had completely forgotten about the torment Gilbert dished out to him. Currently he was sitting on Gilbert's bed with Gilbird in his hair. It was cute how he was making a little nest in his hair.

"He's making a real mess of your hair Mattie." Said Gilbert. "Come here Gilbird." He whistled and Gilbird left Matthew's head nestled in Gilbert's hair.

"He wasn't bothering me." Said Matthew. "Gilbird is really cute." Gilbert shrugged and spun around in his chair. This sudden movement made Gilbert tweet loudly and fly across the room back into Matthew. Matthew patted Gilbird and put him back in his hair, so he could continue to make his nest.

"What do you want to do tonight?" Asked Gilbert. Matthew shrugged.

"I don't know." Sighed Matthew. "What do you want to do?"

"I guess we could always go to that carnival on the pier?" Suggested Gilbert. "Wait a second… why is Gilbird on your head? I thought I took him off you."

Matthew shrugged. "I guess he like's my hair better."

Gilbert pouted. "Anyway, do you want to go to the pier or not?"

"Sounds good." Said Matthew. "When are we going?"

"How about six?" Asked Gilbert. "Since its Saturday we can stay out all night. That is unless you have a curfew?"

Matthew shook his head. "My dad is hardly ever at home and Alfred won't remember me."

"Sweet." Said Gilbert. He got out of the chair and stretched. "Want to take the car or my bike?"

Matthew thought about this for a second. Even though it would be really cool to ride on a motorbike… he kind of thought it would be better if they travelled in the car. This is probably because Gilbert doesn't strike him as a safe driver and if they were in a car he had more of a chance of surviving.

"Um the car sounds safer." Said Matthew. Gilbird tweeted in approval.

Gilbird pouted. "You guys are no fun. Fine we'll take the car."

**XoXoXo Page Brake oXoXoX**

Matthew was currently sitting in the passenger seat of Gilbert's black 4wheel drive. Metallica was blaring through the speakers and Gilbert was singing along. "_Die, die, die my darling. Don't utter a single word. Die, die, die my darling. Just shut your pretty eyes. I'll be seeing you again. Yeah, I'll be seeing you, in hell._"

"Could you turn it down?" Asked Matthew. His voice was barely a whisper over the music.

"_So don't cry to me baby oh baby. Your future's in an oblong box. Don't cry to me oh baby. You should have seen it a-coming on. Don't cry to me oh baby. I don't know it was-_"

"Gilbert!" Cried Matthew. Gilbert turned down the music.

"Too loud?" He smirked. Matthew gave him a look (one which basically screamed 'you think?'). Gilbert smirked and turned his attention back to the road. They had been driving along the highway for about ten minutes (it took half an hour to get to the pier). It was six thirty when they finally got there. Matthew was surprised at how packed it was, but then again it was a Saturday so it shouldn't have been too surprising. Once Gilbert parked the car they walked in.

"What do you want to do first?" Asked Matthew.

Gilbert shrugged. "Let's just walk around for a bit."

So that's what they did. They walked around, had a look at stuff and ended up at the shooting game. There was a huge fat man at the stall trying to entice people to play. "Oi you there!" He called to Gilbert. "Want to win a prize for your girl there? Just five bucks per game! Shoot down five ducks win a prize. I bet your girl would love this lovely stuffed bear."

Matthew felt like he was going to die of embarrassment. Yes his hair was longer than most kids his age. Yes he had been told he had a feminine face and figure. Yes he had been mistaken for girl several times. But it still sucked when people mistook him for a girl.

Gilbert grinned at Matthew. "Well what do you say love?" He asked.

Matthew punched him in the arm. "I'm not a girl, eh!"

Gilbert laughed his creepy laugh. "Keseseseseseses. Don't get your panties in a knot Mattie." He turned to the man and handed him five dollars. "One game." The man gave Gilbert a gun (Matthew thought the last thing Gilbert needed was a gun). Gilbert took aim and fired.

_BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!_

"Keseseseseseseses. And that's how you do it!" Gilbert stated proudly. The man at the stall passed Gilbert a brown bear with a ribbon tied around its neck. Gilbert gave it to Matthew. "It can be a girlfriend for Kumajiro."

Matthew rolled his eyes. "Right… because toys have feelings."

Gilbert shrugged. "You never know Mattie. Wanna get some food? I'm starving." They started to walk towards a hot dog stand when Matthew bumped into someone.

"Watch where you're walking… Gilbert? Is that you?"

Gilbert glanced at the girl Matthew bumped and frowned. "I would say it's nice to see you again, but I wouldn't want to lie Natalia."

Natalia was a young woman with a dark blue bow in her long platinum blond hair, she had purple eyes and wore a very nice dark purple dress, but she had a scowl on her face.

"What are you doing here?" She hissed.

Gilbert rolled his eyes. "Bitch please. What are you doing here? I haven't seen your brother anywhere."

Natalia clenched her fists. "Brother instructed me to come here."

Gilbert smirked. "Translation; my brother abandoned me here because I'm a crazy mother fucker that is under the delusion that my brother will marry me if I stalk him long enough."

"I'd shut up if I were you." She hissed. "You wouldn't want to get anymore scars would you?"

Gilbert rolled his eyes. "If I remember correctly I was the one that left you in a pool of your own blood. While I just got away with minor cuts."

"That was just a fluke." She growled before turning on her heals. "If I were you I'd watch your back Gilbert. I'm not the only one brother told to come here tonight." When Natalia disappeared into the crowed Gilbert turned to Matthew.

"Sorry but we are going to have to leave. Right now." Gilbert grabbed Matthew's arm and dragged him through the crowds.

"Eh? Why? Who was that?"

"I'll explain when we get out of here… Fuck its Toris." Matthew looked over Gilbert' shoulder to see Natalia talking to a guy with longish brown hair. "Quick this way Mattie." Gilbert pulled Matthew towards the roller coaster and sighed.

"What's going on Gilbert?" Asked Matthew. "Who are those people?"

Gilbert sighed. "I'm sorry Matthew. I'll explain in detail in the car but let's just say that Natalia and Toris are people from my past. They aren't good people… but if they're here then Katyusha, Raivis and Eduard are around here somewhere. They're also bad people. We need to get out of here as quickly as possible."

Matthew wasn't sure what was going on. But by the look on Gilbert' face it seemed serious. They quickly jumped a fence and quickly jumped into Gilbert's car.

When they were back on the highway Gilbert turned off the radio. "So I guess you want to know about what just happened?"

"If you wouldn't mind."

Gilbert sighed. "It all started a couple of months before I moved here. I used to live with my brothers in an apartment in the city, but I got on the wrong side of some gangs. The one I really screwed with was called Russian Blood crew…"

**XoXoXo Flash back oXoXoX**

_Gilbert walked down the cold, dark city street. He knew that this part of the city was notorious for murders, junkies and gangs. But that was the whole reason he was there. He wanted to fight. He needed to fight. That was all he knew how to do these days._

_He took a turn down into an alley. He knew was that there would probably be at least someone who wanted to mug him down there. A woman was walking towards him. At first glance she looked like a prostitute but Gilbert knew better. He dug his hands into his pocket and polled out a razor. Now this wasn't one of those pussy weak ass little razor blades. This was one of those old barber shop razors that Sweeny Todd used to kill people._

_As soon as he flicked out the razor the woman stopped walking. She giggled and pulled a knife out of the folds of her dress and lunged at him. The clatter and clink of metal soon filled the air. Gilbert and the woman dodged ducked and weaved each-others strikes. After two minutes of this Gilbert jumped back a safe distance and laughed._

"_Keseseseseseses. You're pretty good. Most people would have died by now."_

_The woman laughed. "Same to you."_

"_What's your name?" Asked Gilbert as he began to circle the woman again. "I want to know the name of the person I'm killing."_

"_Of course." Sneered the woman. "Natalia is my name. What about you?"_

"_Gilbert."_

"_Gilbert hu? That's a ridiculous name." She mocked. "What's even more ridiculous is you're using a razor. How stupid."_

"_Keseseseseseses. You know what's even more ridiculous, Natalia?" Questioned Gilbert. "Bringing a knife to a gun fight." Gilbert reached into his hoodie and pulled out a revolver and shot Natalia three times. None of his shots would kill her immediately. She would just bleed out, slowly and painfully._

_Natalia fell to her knees. She grabbed her bloodied side. "You bastard." She spat. Blood dripped from her lips and hit the pavement. "You'll pay for this."_

"_Keseseseseseses. How? You're bleeding out! No one can help you. No one can save you. You're going to die." Now came the best part. The look of despair that would cloud their eyes as they realized there was no hope. He sorrow that would consume them. He waited for that look but it never came. Instead Natalia laughed in Gilbert's face._

"_I'm not going to die you idiot!" She cried. "You think I would fight someone without back up close by? They'll be here in a minute! Two at the most!" Gilbert was sick of her mouthing off. He raised the gun to her head. She just smiled sweetly at him with blood running down her bottom lip. "Ivan is my step brother. You knew that right?"_

_Gilbert cursed and lowered his gun. "There's no point in shooting you then is there? How disappointing." He turned and walked out of the alley. "Later bitch."_

"_You not safe anymore you know that right?" Called Natalia. "We'll come after you and everyone close to you! No one you know is safe anymore! Pay back is a bitch Gilbert!"_

_Gilbert rolled his eyes. "Whatever! Give my best to Ivan! Tell him I've almost cracked that riddle of his."_

**XoXoXo Page Brake oXoXoX**

Matthew looked at Gilbert with wide eyes. Gilbert had just confessed to attempted murder. Gilbert glanced at Matthew and sighed.

"I know how this looks… but I was really messed up in the head back then. I'm not like that anymore." Matthew didn't really know what to think. This was just too much, even for him. He just couldn't believe that his friend would do that. Gilbert pulled over and looked at Matthew. "Please don't hate me for that Matthew."

Matthew looked up at Gilbert. His eyes were pleading for forgiveness but at the same time calmed Matthew down considerably. All the fear that he had about Gilbert seemed to melt away. "I don't hate you Gilbert." He said. "I'm glad you told me."

Gilbert sighed and pulled back onto the highway. "Thank you Matthew. It means a lot to me to hear you say that. I just hope Natalia stays the hell away from here, but if you do see her just tell me and I'll beat the crap out of her again."

Matthew smiled weakly and nodded. Tonight could have gone better.

**TBC**

* * *

><p><strong>Shinigami-cat:<strong> But you know what? That's not the biggest secret! This is pretty minor compared to what's to come. REVIEWS KEEP ME ALIVE!


	7. Gilbert and his brothers

**Shinigami-cat:** So in this chapter there is no Matthew. Just letting you know… I OWN NOTHING!

**Gilbert and his brothers**

_Got a secret  
>Can you keep it?<br>Swear this one you'll save  
>Better lock it, in your pocket<br>Taking this one to the grave  
>If I show you then I know you<br>Won't tell what I said  
>Cause two can keep a secret<br>If one of them is dead…_

'_Secret' by The Pierces_

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><p>"Gilbert you idiot!" Said Francis as he slapped Gilbert upside the head. "Why would you tell Matthew about them?" He continued to slap Gilbert who just sat on the couch and let it happen (Francis wasn't the strongest person in the world). Antonio joined in and started to hit Gilbert.<p>

"Why are we hitting Gilbert?" Asked Antonio.

"He told Matthew about the Russian Blood crew." Growled Francis. Antonio looked at Gilbert and frowned.

"You told him about them why?"

Gilbert rolled his eyes. "We bumped into Natalia and things happened." Antonio punched Gilbert's arm.

"That was not a good idea Gilbert." He said. "What if you told him about… you know." Gilbert shot him a dirty look.

"You think I'm that stupid?" He snapped. "I wouldn't have told Matthew about that… If I did… Everything would be ruined." He put his head in his hands and sighed. "I hate this… Why do we have to keep doing this?"

"Because we have to." Said Ludwig. He had been watching Francis and Antonio beat Gilbert up from the other side of the room. "We broke the rules so we have to suffer."

"But why do they?" Asked Gilbert. "Why do they have to suffer for what we did?" By now Gilbert was on his feet and pacing around the room. "Like you said it was us that broke the rules! Not them! They shouldn't… They just… DAMNIT!"

"Calm down Gilbert!" Said Antonio. "Yelling won't make it any better _amigo_. It just makes it worse." Gilbert screamed and punched a hole in the wall. Everyone was quiet.

"How long do you have Antonio?" Muttered Gilbert. "How long until you cry yourself to sleep again? How long until Francis sinks into depression again? How long until Ludwig refuses to get out of bed again? How long until I lose it again? How long can we keep living like this?" No one answered him. Gilbert pulled his hand out of the wall and marched into the basement.

Antonio sat down on the floor and began to cry. "He's right." He sobbed. "We can't keep doing this. We can't keep lying to everyone."

Francis sat next to Antonio and pulled him into a hug to try and comfort him. "Hush Antonio, don't cry. It's okay. Gilbert is just upset. He didn't mean anything."

"But he's right." Waled Antonio. "It's going to happen again. It always happens and every time we try to stop it… Oh, god." Antonio was now bawling is eyes out. "I can't do it again! I can't! I can't! You can't make me!"

"You don't have a choice." Said Ludwig calmly. "None of us do. It's just how it is."

Antonio's response to this was to cry louder. Francis glared at Ludwig. "How can you be so calm about this? Have you finally become numb to emotions?"

"Numb to my emotions?" Questioned Ludwig. "I wish I was. If I was then I wouldn't have to suffer." Ludwig walked past Antonio and Francis and into the kitchen. Francis sighed and ran his fingers through Antonio's hair and started to sing in French to try and sooth him.

**XoXoXo Page brake oXoXoX**

Gilbert was pacing around his room swearing and randomly throwing thingsaround the room. He picked up Gilbirds cage and was about to throw it across the room when he heard the frantic chirping of Gilbird. Gilbert took a few deep breaths and slowly set the cage down.

"Sorry Gilbird." He muttered. He opened the cage and let Gilbird fly around his room. Gilbert collapsed onto his mattress (which he chucked against the wall in his rage) and began to cry. Gilbird sensed his master's distress and landed next to him. He tugged at Gilbert's silver hair. Gilbert looked up at him and sighed. "Gilbird why am I so messed up?"

But Gilbird couldn't answer because he was just a bird. He couldn't speak. Instead Gilbird moved closer to Gilbert and rubbed his head against his nose. This wasn't the first time Gilbird had seen Gilbert like this. Every now and then he would break down like this. It always saddened the little canary but he did his best to make Gilbert feel better.

Gilbert smiled a little and patted the little bird. "Nice try Gilbird. But it still doesn't answer my question." Gilbert slowly sat up and stretched. "I'm going to have a shower. Don't crap on anything while I'm gone Gilbird." Gilbird made a noise as Gilbert closed the door to his bathroom.

Gilbert carelessly pulled off his cloths but stopped when he got to his boxers. He quickly examined his reflection; red eyes, silver hair, paper white skin and a few small purple scars that were almost faded scattered over his torso. He didn't look too bad. But then there were the other scars. He wondered if they had started to fade yet. He turned around and looked over his shoulder. On his back were two long dark purple scars. They started at his shoulder blades and stopped just above his but crack. They made a perfect V.

"Damn." Growled Gilbert. "These fucking things will never go away will they?" He touched one of them and flinched. These scars had lots of bad memories. He took off his boxers and stepped inside the shower. He quickly adjusted the water to a suitable temperature. He sighed and sat down.

"I am a word." He mumbled. "I'm a sad word, such a terribly sad and lonely word. I mean anger, pain, malice, suicide, murder, death, wrath and jealousy. I can occasionally mean love, happiness, life and beauty. I'm used almost every day but no one knows what I mean. What am I? Fucked if I know."

He rested his head against the wall of the shower and let the water rush over him. "Kill me." He whispered. "Hurry up and kill me. Strike me down and kill me. You can turn a flood the world, make cities collapse, turn the Nile into blood so I know you can do this. Kill me."

But his pleas went unanswered. Just like last time, and the time before that, and the time before that. Gilbert was in such a state of inner turmoil he didn't even notice the water go cold.

**TBC**

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><p><strong>Shinigami-cat:<strong> Poor Gilbert… Sad isn't it? REVIEW IT NOW!


	8. Curious yet familiar sketches

**Shinigami-cat: **Mental note never ever play a sword fighting game on the Wii for five hours straight ever again. I can hardly move my writing hand… I OWN NOTHING!

**Curious yet familiar sketches**

_So many, lies swarming, around you, you're suffocating  
>The empty, shape in you, steals your breath you're suffocating<em>

_Logic forces me to believe in this and I've learned to see_  
><em>And I can only say what I've seen and heard and only you can choose<em>  
><em>And every choice you make will affect you, search your own self<em>  
><em>You can breathe today<em>

_So many, lies swarming, around you, you're suffocating_  
><em>The empty, shape in you, steals your breath you're suffocating<em>

'_Breathe Today' by Flyleaf_

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><p>Once again Matthew was sitting on his Victorian style window seat sketching away. This time he just had the urge to draw a bunch of landscapes. They wouldn't win him any prizes or be museum quality but they were still pretty cool. Lots of them were of rolling hills and vast country sides, but a few were of things like banquet halls and masquerade balls and one of a very elaborate maze.<p>

"Yo Matthew!" Called Alfred. Matthew turned his head to see Alfred standing in the door way with a rather grumpy looking blond with the world's biggest eyebrows. Hell those things could Guy sensei and Rock Lee a run for their money. He almost wondered if that guy stole them from Garra (Matthew had basic knowledge of Naruto characters because Alfred went through an anime phase thanks to Kiku. Alfred's Japanese friend).

"What is it Al?" Matthew asked.

"Me and Arthur are going to go to the movies so I'll be back late okay?"

Matthew nodded. "Have fun." Alfred smiled his usual hero grin and slammed Matthew's door shut. Matthew shrugged and went back to sketching. At the moment he was putting the finishing touches to his masquerade picture. He was finishing up two figures dancing in the middle; one was wearing a costume reminded him of a bird and the other figure was had a crescent moon mask.

The door to his room creaked open. Matthew didn't even look up. He assumed that Alfred had forgotten where the money was. "The money is in that funny ceramic tea pot."

"Keseseseseses! I'll keep that in mind when I'm low on cash." Matthew almost had a heart attack. He didn't expect Gilbert to be in his house.

"What are you doing here?" Gasped Matthew. Gilbert smirked and stood over him.

"Well the awesome me got bored and decided to grace you with my awesomeness. Hey! I know this place!" Gilbert picked up a sketch of a little cottage surrounded in the mountains. "This is a place in Germany. Too cool. You even got the chimney tilting to the left just a little like the real thing."

Matthew looked at the picture and frowned. He didn't remember drawing that one. He looked up at Gilbert to say something but as soon as he saw Gilbert's face he felt a little concerned. Gilbert's face was a little red and blotchy, his eyes were blood shot and his hair looked messier than usual. "Are you okay Gilbert?"

"Of course the awesome me is fine. Why do you ask?

"It looks like you've been crying a lot."

"You need to get new glasses Mattie." Said Gilbert. "The awesome me is too awesome to cry." Matthew had a feeling that Gilbert was lying to him but said nothing. He frowned at Gilbert.

"How the hell did you get in here?"

Gilbert smirked. "That's my secret Mattie. By the way I brought you a present." Gilbert whistled and in flew Gilbird. He flew into Matthew's hair and started to make a nest again.

Matthew smiled and patted the little bird. "I missed you too Gilbird." Gilbert smiled at Matthew and sat down on his bed.

"I'm bored. Wanna do something today?"

"Eh? I wasn't really going to do anything… But it is lunch time so I could make lunch?"

"What do you have in mind?" Asked Gilbert. "Are you a good cook?"

"Is the Pope catholic?" Asked Matthew with a smug grin on his face.

So Gilbert and Matthew were sitting down in in the dining room eating two large stacks of pancakes covered in maple syrup. Matthew was amused that Gilbert had a look of complete ecstasy on his face. If Matthew wasn't mistaken, he believes that he just witnessed Gilbert having a foodgasm.

"_Mine Gott._ Matthew." Said Gilbert. "These are the best! I'm going to come over here every day now just to have pancakes."

Matthew giggled. "I'll make strawberry ones next time."

Gilbert dropped his fork and looked at Matthew with wide eyes. "There's more than one type?"

"Of course." Said Matthew. "There's strawberry, chocolate, blueberry, caramel, heck I even made a whole bunch using leftover Halloween candy once. It was more candy than pancake."

Gilbert looked at Matthew with wide eyes. "That. Is. Awesome." Matthew giggled. It was nice to hear Gilbert compliment him like that. While Matthew cleared the table there was a knock at the door. Matthew walked over to the door and was surprised to see Ludwig at his door.

"Sorry to bother you, but is my brother here?" Matthew nodded and led him to Gilbert, who was still recovering from his foodgasm.

"Gilbert, Ludwig's here." Matthew said. Gilbert looked over at Ludwig and growled.

"Go away. Can't you see the awesome me is hanging with the awesome Matthew?" Matthew could feel a little blush spread over his face. Gilbert just called him awesome.

Ludwig sighed. "Remember that little rant you did last night?"

"And your point is?"

"Antonio has locked himself in his room and refuses to come out."

Gilbert rolled his eyes. "Get Feliciano to come over to the house, then call his brother and say something creepy. Something like… how much Feli just loves devour your German sausage."

"GILBERT!" Yelled a now red faced Ludwig. Matthew slowly backed away from Ludwig. In case he fell victim to the Germans wrath.

Gilbert on the other hand looked like he was enjoying himself. "Well it was only a suggestion. The other one is… well I have three; take Feli's phone when he's not looking pretend to be Feli and sext his brother than send a regular text say that you meant to send it to Ludwig."

"SHUT UP!" Cried Ludwig.

"The next thing you could do is put on one of your hard core S&M DVD's and turn the volume up really high, call Lovino and put the phone next to the speaker."

"I SWEAR IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP RIGHT NOW I WILL PUNCH YOU!"

Gilbert rolled his eyes. "Or you could call him and let him listen in on you fucking Feli into the mattr-"

Gilbert's last comment was cut off by Ludwig who punched him in the face. Which sent said albino flying across the room and crashing into the wall. Matthew stood there wide eyed. Ludwig just punched his brother and probably knocked him out too. Ludwig just stood there frozen taking deep breaths.

"Mother fucker" Groaned Gilbert as he slowly stood up. "Why won't you follow my awesome advice and become a boxer?"

Ludwig rolled his eyes and walked over to his brother and grabbed him by the back of his shirt. "Because it's a dumb idea. Now we are going home and you are going to fix this mess."

Gilbert pouted but let his brother lead him out of the house. Leaving one very freaked out Canadian. "TWEET!" and one awesome bird alone.

**XoXoXo Page brake oXoXoX**

Later that day Matthew decided to go for a walk. Gilbird (who refused to be moved from Matthew's head) came along too. It was a pretty nice day outside so Matthew decided to sketch in the park. It just seemed like a good idea. So he sat down at the top of a hill with his sketch book and began to draw. He started off by drawing the duck pond, but after ten minutes he realized that it looked nothing like the duck pond at all.

"Eh? What's with the pyramids?" Yes instead of drawing the duck pond Matthew had managed to draw a picture of the Nile River. Matthew shrugged and turned his attention to drawing a tree but after half an hour of drawing it to the finest detail he was shocked to see he had sketched Big Ben.

"… Well… Okay then… What the hell? What do you think Gilbird?" The little yellow bird poked his head out of Matthew's hair and looked down at the picture.

"Tweet!" It chirped excitedly. "Tweet! Tweet! Tweet!"

"Eh? Are you insulting me?"

"Tweet!" With that Gilbird disappeared into Matthew's now severely tangled hair.

"… I'll take that as a yes…" Matthew sighed and flicked through his sketches. He hadn't done that since he got this new sketch book. It was full of well… sketches but he noticed something strange. When he signed and dated his pictures (because 1 he didn't want Alfred to mistake them for his and 2 he dated them so he remembered when he drew them) all the dates were screwed up.

And by screwed up I mean he signed them as different centuries (1600's, 1900's, 1800's, 1700's and even 900 BC). That was weird but not as weird as how he signed his name. He always signed as Matthew Williams and he did the exact same thing with every other one… Except he wrote a different last name every time; Williams, Johnson, Smith, Martin, Stout, Hughes, Bonnefoy, Fernandez, Edelstine, Alfroskaya and Oxenstiema were just a handful of last names he had used. So he was always Matthew something.

"Okay then." Said Matthew. This was almost as weird as randomly spouting German. He put his pencils into his pocket and closed his sketch book. Maybe drawing wasn't something he should do today. Instead he decided to just watch the world go by. Well it was one way to spend half an hour.

But after that Matthew decided to go home. As he walked down a rather secluded section of the park Gilbird began to get a little panicked. He started pulling on Matthew's hair and tweeting loudly.

"Ouch! Calm down Gilbird." Said Matthew. "This is really starting to hurt." But Gilbird didn't stop, instead he became more frantic. Until Matthew had to pull Gilbird out of his hair. Gilbird started to fly around Matthew's head and pull on his hair. "Gilbird what's gotten into you?"

Suddenly Gilbird darted back into Matthew's hair and gripped his hair tightly. Matthew sighed and tried to pull the canary out of his hair again but got bitten for his troubles. While he was sucking on his bloodied finger he didn't notice a woman with long platinum blond hair quickly closing in on him.

Before Matthew knew what hit him he was pushed face first against a tree. His attacker turned him around so that they there facing each other. Matthew was wide eyed. "Natalia?" He asked in disbelief.

The woman smirked. "So you are the guy that was hanging out with Gil on Saturday."

'_Fuck.'_

"What do you want?" Trembled Matthew. Natalia just rolled her eyes and stepped back.

"I just want to warn you about Gilbert he isn't what he seems."

"I know." Said Matthew. "He's tried to murder people before but he's changed."

Natalia shook her head in disbelief. "Are you really that thick? Gilbert hasn't just tried, he's succeeded. Several times. Gilbert is a murderer."

Matthew's jaw dropped. "No he can't be. He isn't."

"But he is. I'm sure he told you all about the Russian Blood crew? But I bet he didn't tell you why we formed." Natalia looked into Matthew's eyes. "We formed to kill Gilbert."

"You're joking, eh?"

"No I'm not." Growled Natalia. "Now I'm sure he told you the usual sappy story of where he was just a messed up kid and went to the darkest part of the city to beat up some people. Then he would have said how he got on the wrong side of some gangs. He probably said that he almost killed me and I swore revenge or some bull shit like that. Well it is true that he did try to kill me, but I never swore revenge on him."

"What are you saying?" Asked Matthew. Although he dreaded the answer.

Natalia rolled her eyes. "I'm saying you're in danger… the kind where you will be killed if you make friends with the wrong people. Gilbert is a liar and as I have already said he's a killer. Be careful around him." Natalia turned no her heels and ran off down the path, but before she disappeared she quickly turned back to Matthew. "Oh, if you tell Gilbert about this we will have to kill you."

Matthew just stood there in stunned silence. Did he really hear what he thought he just heard? If it was true then Gilbert was lying to him and using him and… was he really a murderer? How could he be? It was just… What the hell? He sunk to the ground and shuddered.

Gilbird poked his head out of Matthew's hair and was relieved that Natalia was gone. He thought Matthew would have realized that he was telling him to run. Obviously the little bird misjudged Matthew's intelligence. But now Matthew was hurt like Gilbert was last night. The little bird flew to Matthew's shoulder and rubbed his head against his cheek. Hopefully it would make Matthew feel better.

Matthew smiled a little at the bird. "I should take you back to Gilbert, eh?"

**TBC**

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><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>Da da daaaaaaaaaaaa! Review this please ^^


	9. Lessons about myths

**Shinigami-cat: **Look to the left, look to the right… I OWN NOTHING!

**Lessons about myths**

_The secret side of me, I never let you see  
>I keep it caged but I can't control it<br>So stay away from me, the beast is ugly  
>I feel the rage and I just can't hold it<em>

_It's scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls_  
><em>It comes awake and I can't control it<em>  
><em>Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head<em>  
><em>Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?<em>

_I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin_  
><em>I must confess that I feel like a monster<em>  
><em>I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun<em>  
><em>I must confess that I feel like a monster<em>

'_Monster' by Skillet_

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><p>It had been a few months since Natalia had warned him about Gilbert. Matthew wasn't sure what to do. He wanted to talk to Gilbert about it but he kind of wanted to stay alive. It all just sucked balls. So he continued to play the fool and pretend nothing was wrong. It was easy. After all he had been doing it for years before Gilbert had even entered his life.<p>

Gilbert snapped his fingers in front of Matthew's face. "Matthew? Hello? Anybody home?"

Matthew blinked a couple of times and looked back down at his lunch… rephrase something posing as food. Why dose cafeteria food always look gross? "Sorry Gilbert. Just thinking about stuff…"

"Like what?" Asked Gilbert.

'_Oh nothing much.'_ Thought Matthew. _'Just how you might actually be a serial killer that lied to me and probably want's to kill me. Yep that's about it. What are you thinking about?'_

Gilbert snapped his fingers in front of Matthew's face again. "You're spacing out on me again."

"Leave him alone Gilbert." Said Francis. "He's probably tired. Just look at those dark circles under his eyes." Francis poked what he assumed was mashed potatoes and gasped. "I think it just moved!"

"Better than the jelly." Said Antonio as he held up an empty jelly cup. "It walked away when I wasn't looking."

Gilbert laughed and looked back at Matthew. "You should sleep more. If you don't you'll get tired and if you get tired Francis will get you."

Francis flipped Gilbert the bird. "I'm not interested in Matthew. No offence Matthew."

"… None taken?" Was he supposed to be offended?

Antonio rolled his eyes. "That's right you're in love with bushy brows over there." Antonio pointed towards a table across the other side of the room. Sitting there was Alfred and bushy brows AKA Arthur. Francis glared at Antonio.

"His name is Arthur Kirkland you paedophilic moron."

"What do you mean paedophilic?" Asked Antonio with concern in his voice. Francis smirked and pointed to a table near the window. Sitting there were Ludwig and two Italians. Matthew recognised them as happy go lucky Feliciano and pissy Lovino. Antonio blushed. "I'll shut up now."

Matthew frowned and looked at Antonio and then back at the table. "What? Dose Antonio like Feliciano."

Francis and Gilbert laughed. "Close." Said Gilbert. "Antonio is in love with the pissy one."

"Lovino?" Asked Matthew wide eyed. "Really? Why?"

"Because." Said Antonio. "Ever since I first laid eyes on him I knew he was the one for me."

Francis smiled and sighed. "I… I think I'm going to throw this out."

"Why?" Asked Gilbert.

"My pizza just waved at me."

"Um… Francis. That's lasagne."

"That's it I'm out of here." Francis picked up his tray and dumped his food in the trash.

Matthew sighed and turned his attention back to his so called food. _'There's no way Gilbert could be a bad person right? I'm just over thinking things. Natalia was probably lying to me but then again… when I first met Gilbert he…' _Matthew shook his head. _'I'm just over thinking things again.'_

**XoXoXo Page brake oXoXoX**

Soon it was the last period of the day and they were in history listening to Ivan talk about the mythological side of Medieval Europe.

"So who knows anything about European mythology?" Ivan asked. No one put their hand up. "Okay then… Let me rephrase it. What do you know about European religion?"

A girl at the front of the class put her hand up. "There are like angels and stuff?" Woops that was a guy.

"Correct!" Said Ivan. He turned to the white board and wrote the word ANGEL in huge letters. "Now what do we know about angels? Anyone?"

Once again no one said anything. Matthew looked over Gilbert and was surprised to see how irritated he looked. "There are nine classes of angels." Said Gilbert. "Let's see from lowest to highest there are; seraphim, cherubim, thrones, dominations, virtues, powers, principalities, archangels and angels."

Everyone in the class turned to Gilbert. They were all in shock and awe that Gilbert knew that. Even Matthew's jaw dropped. Ivan just smiled and wrote what Gilbert said on the board. "Very good Gilbert. Anyone know anything else? Someone name me at least five different angels."

"The archangels Gabriel, Jibrail, Mikail, Israfil and Izrail the angel of death." Said Gilbert. "Gabriel is obviously the most famous and well known of all angels." Once again everyone was in stunned silence.

"What else do you know about angels Gilbert?" Asked Ivan as he added more information to the board. Gilbert's eye twitched ever so slightly.

"There are some angels that take human form and are sent to earth for a mission of some kind. They are called Legatii and most of the time when they make it to earth they can't remember why they were sent and have to discover it." Matthew noticed that Gilbert was clenching the sides of his desk so hard that his knuckles were turning really white.

"Anything else Gilbert?" Asked Ivan. It had become obvious to the rest of the class that this had turned into a conversation between Gilbert and Ivan.

"There's also the Nephilim." Said Gilbert. "They are a supposed race of human angel hybrids."

"Very good." Ivan turned around and started to write on the board. "What else do you know?"

Gilbert hesitated slightly. Matthew noticed that Gilbert's grip on the desk got tighter. "There are the Fallen." He said through gritted teeth.

"And Fallen are?" Asked Ivan with a smile on his face.

"Fallen… The Fallen are… They are…" Stuttered Gilbert. "They are angels that have been cast out of heaven."

A dark smile replaced Ivan's childish one. "And why have they been cast out of heaven?"

"Because" Muttered Gilbert. "Unlike humans… if an angel sins they can never be forgiven. They are cast out of heaven and are condemned to live on earth forever."

"Now what is the name of the most famous Fallen angel?" Asked Ivan.

"Lucifer… He was an archangel that rebelled against God and was cast down to earth as punishment."

"Like I'm totally confused." Said the boy that Matthew had confused for a girl earlier. "By that logic aren't all angels like demons?"

Ivan thought about this for a second. "One could argue that I guess… but getting back to the subject of demons. What words would you use to describe them? Don't be shy shout them out." At that everyone started to shout out answers.

"Monster."

"Evil."

"Carnivore."

"That's good, but what would they look like, da?"

"Scaly."

"Slimy."

"Rough."

"Savage."

Matthew thought about this for a second. How would he best describe a demon? "Unforgivable." He muttered. Suddenly Gilbert stood up and ran out of the room.

Ivan sighed. "Go get him Matthew." He said. Matthew nodded and followed Gilbert out the door. But Gilbert wasn't anywhere to be seen.

He sighed. Knowing Gilbert he probably ditched and went home. Matthew started to walk down the hall when he heard something shattering. He quickly ran to the source of the noise and was surprised to see it had come from the boy's toilets. Matthew slowly opened the door and gasped at what he saw.

Gilbert was stomping on broken shards of mirror while his hands were cut and bloodied. "_Verdammt noch mal in die Hölle verdammt noch mal! Nur bis heruntergefahren sterben und sterben! Ich hasse dich! Ich hasse dich! Verdammt, ich hasse dich!_"

Matthew just stood there in awe. What the hell was going on? "_Gilbert! Was ist los?_"

Gilbert punched out another mirror and pulled the fragments out of the frame. "_Nur__sterben!__Nur__sterben!__"_ He screamed before throwing them onto the ground. Blood was still running down his hands from the fresh cuts. "_Verdammt noch mal._"

Before Matthew could stop himself he threw himself at Gilbert pinning him to the ground. "_Stopp__dieser__Gilbert__!_" Cried Matthew. "_Warum tust du das? Bitte einfach aufhören this!_" Matthew obviously had no idea what he just said but it seemed to calm Gilbert down a little.

He looked up at Matthew (Because Matthew kind of tackled him to the ground and was sitting on top of him). Tears began to form in the corners of Gilbert's eyes. "_Es tut mir leid__mein__Vögelchen__._" He sobbed. Matthew got off him and Gilbert crawled into a ball. "_Es tut mir leid__!_" He cried out. "_Es tut mir leid__!__ Es tut mir leid__! __Es tut mir leid__!__ Es tut mir leid__!__ Es tut mir leid__!__ Es tut mir leid__!__ Es tut mir leid__!__ Es tut mir leid__!_"

Matthew cautiously sat next to Gilbert and pulled him into a hug. "_Es ist in Ordnung. Beruhigen Sie sich Gilbert. Es ist in Ordnung ... Nun sagen Sie mir, was los ist._"

Gilbert cried into Matthew's chest. "_Ich kann Ihnen nicht sagen. Ich kann nicht._" He sobbed. Matthew just sighed and rubbed circles on to Gilbert's back. He couldn't believe what he had just seen. Gilbert smashed every mirror in the bathroom and then started crying. Gilbert had obviously just had a mental breakdown of some kind. It was strange… For some reason Matthew felt like he had done this before…

The door to the bathroom slammed open and in ran Ludwig. "Gilbert what did you do?" He cried.

Gilbert just cried harder into Matthew's shirt. Matthew looked up at Ludwig with wide eyes. "What's wrong with him?"

Ludwig bit his lip and sighed. "He forgot to take his medication today. He is very dangerous when he doesn't take it. I'm glad you got to him when he got to his depressed state." He bent down and looked at Gilbert's hands. "He punched out the mirrors didn't he?"

Matthew nodded. Ludwig sighed and tried to pull Gilbert away from Matthew. "_Nein, ich werde__nicht gehen!_" Cried Gilbert. "_Ich werde nicht aus meinem Vögelchen wieder!_" He tightened his grip on Matthew. Matthew gasped. Gilbert was crushing him.

"Gilbert." Said Ludwig sternly. "_Wenn Sie nicht zulassen, dass ihm gehst, wirst du ihn töten._" Gilbert gasped and loosened his grip on Matthew. Ludwig sighed and slowly pulled Gilbert off Matthew. "Have you calmed down now?"

"What was that?" Asked Matthew. "Why dose Gilbert need to take medication?"

"It's not my place to tell you." Said Ludwig as he held his shivering older brother. "Gilbert will tell you when he feels better."

Gilbert buried his face into his hands and breathed heavily. "What the fuck just happened?" He was still shacking violently. "Fuck I'm bleeding!" He tried to stand up but fell over. Luckily Ludwig caught him.

"Easy Gilbert." He said. "You just had another one of your episodes. You really scared Matthew." Gilbert's eyes went wide and he looked at Matthew.

"Holy shit." He gasped. "I'm so sorry Matthew. You're not hurt are you?"

Matthew shook his head. "I'm fine… A little shaken up but fine."

Gilbert let out a sigh of relief. "That's good to hear." But soon it was replaced by a look of horror. He looked down at his hands then at the broken mirror's and pieces on the floor then back at Matthew. "No…" He whispered. "No you weren't meant to see…" He pushed away from Ludwig and ran out the door as fast as he could.

Ludwig rolled his eyes. "Well if he didn't want people to know he should have taken his pills." He turned back to Matthew. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm sure…" He said as he slowly got to his feet. "I'll go find a broom…"

Ludwig shook his head. "Don't bother. Just go home I'll clean up."

Matthew nodded weakly and walked past Ludwig. As he left the home bell rang and everyone poured out of the class rooms. Matthew just slowly walked to his locker and rested his head against it. He had no idea how to react to what had just happened. Gilbert lost it. Gilbert apparently takes medication for something. Gilbert is violent… and Matthew was speaking German again.

'_What the hell is going on?'_

**TBC**

* * *

><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>So that was fun ^^ I like writing about insane characters every now and then. It makes a nice change.

Also which character do you want to have their own chapter? Your choices are as follows:

Antonio

Francis

Ludwig

**Translations:**

_**Verdammt noch mal in die Hölle verdammt noch mal! Nur bis heruntergefahren sterben und sterben! Ich hasse dich! Ich hasse dich! Verdammt, ich hasse dich!-**_ Damn it go to hell damn it all! Just die shut up and die! I hate you! I hate you! I fucking hate you!

_**Gilbert! Was ist los?- **_Gilbert! What's wrong?

_**Nur**__**sterben!**__**Nur**__**sterben!- **_Just die! Just die!

_**Verdammt noch mal- **_Damn it all.

_**Stopp**__**dieser**__**Gilbert!**__**- **_Stop this Gilbert!

_**Warum tust du das? Bitte einfach aufhören this!- **_Why are you doing this? Please just stop this!

_**Es tut mir leid**__**mein**__**Vögelchen- **_I'm sorry my little birdie.

_**Es tut mir leid**__**!- **_I'm sorry!

_**Es ist in Ordnung. Beruhigen Sie sich Gilbert. Es ist in Ordnung ... Nun sagen Sie mir, was los ist.- **_It's okay Gilbert. Calm down. It's okay... Now tell me what's wrong.

_**Ich kann Ihnen nicht sagen. Ich kann nicht- **_I can't tell you I can't.

_**Nein, ich werde**__**nicht gehen!- **_No, I won't go!

_**Ich werde nicht aus meinem Vögelchen wieder!-**_ I won't leave my little birdie again!

_**Wenn Sie nicht zulassen, dass ihm gehst, wirst du ihn töten.- **_If you don't let him go you'll kill him.


	10. Antonio's random chapter of fun D

**Shinigami-cat: **So… This is Antonio's chapter ^^ Please enjoy. This takes place just after lunch before Gilbert snaps. Also lame title is lame… I OWN NOTHING!

**Antonio's random chapter of fun =D**

_Back to the street where we began,  
>Feeling as good as lovers can, you know,<br>Now we're feeling so good._

_Picking up things we shouldn't read,_  
><em>Looks like the end of history as we know,<em>  
><em>It's just the end of the world.<em>

_Back to the street where we began,_  
><em>Feeling as good as love, you could, you can.<em>

'_Nine in the afternoon' by Panic at the Disco_

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><p>Antonio reluctantly departed from Francis and Gilbert when lunch was over. It sucked but at least he had the best, most fantastic, extraordinary subject of all time! Now most people would wonder what could make Antonio so fucking happy? The simple answer is simple. Today Antonio had double P.E. It was combined sophmore's and freshmen. I'll give you one guess as to which Italian freshman was in this class.<p>

If you just said Feliciano… Please do us all a favour and face-palm until you bleed… because you just fail so much.

So needless to say that Antonio was the first one out of the change rooms. He patiently sat in the school gym and waited for everyone to turn up. He hummed quietly to himself and closed his eyes. If he concentrated he could hear the sounds of everyone slowly walking to the gym and if he really concentrated he could smell them.

Antonio had always had an extra sensitive nose so he could always sniff out thing's others couldn't. He could smell what kind of shampoo someone used three hours after a shower, tell what you ate for breakfast at lunch and like an animal he could smell fear… but only if he concentrated. Which he never really did.

Soon people began to slowly trickle into the room. _'Any second now…'_ Thought Antonio. _'Any second my sweet little angel will walk right through that door-' _

"SHUT THE FUCK UP POTATO FUCKER!" Screamed Lovino as he marched into gym with Feliciano and Ludwig close behind.

"Ve~ but Lovino. Ludwig is my best friend." Whined Feliciano. Lovino flipped his brother off.

"I don't care." Growled Lovino. "He shouldn't have said that." Antonio thought that this was the perfect time to intervene. He dashed over to Lovino and glomped him. "WHAT THE FUCK?"

Antonio grinned and rubbed the side of his face into Lovino's head. "Lovi is so cute." He cooed. "Your face is as red as a tomato! It's so cute!"

"Fucking tomato bastard." Growled Lovino as he struggled to get out of Antonio's grip. "I fucking forgot we had P.E. with you."

"I didn't!" Said Feliciano with a smile. "How are you Antonio?"

"Oh, I'm fine." Said Antonio. "But I'm better now that I have me little Lovi in my arms again." Lovino looked like he was going to murder someone.

"Get the fuck of me before I kill you tomato bastard."

Antonio rested his chin on Lovino's head. "I don't want to… Tell you what, I'll let you go if I can't guess what you had for lunch today."

"No fucking way." Growled Lovino. "You always know. Fucking stalker. Guess what Feliciano had and if you get one thing wrong you let me go."

Antonio chuckled. "Okay Lovi." He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. He concentrated on Feliciano and grinned. "Feliciano. For lunch. You had…" He took another deep breath just to make sure he had it right. "Angel hair pasta with creamy cabonara sauce. Five precent onions, twelve precent bacon and lots of cream (all of which was homemade). You also had fresh orange juice and something else…" Antonio quickly sniffed the air. "I believe it was a bite of homemade peperoni pizza. Homemade tomato sauce, cheese and peperoni supplied by a deli. Am I right Feliciano?"

Feliciano's jaw dropped. "Ve? How did you know?" Antonio grinned and looked down at Lovino, who had visibly paled.

"FUCKING GOD DAMN YOU FELI!" Screamed Lovino. "WHY DIDN'T YOU LIE?"

Feliciano yelped and hid behind Ludwig. "I'm sorry Lovi." He cried. "I was just so amazed that he got it right! Please don't hate me!" Ludwig sighed and led Feliciano over to the bleachers to try and calm him down.

"Why do you have to be so mean Lovi?" Asked Antonio.

"Better question." Growled Lovino. "Why are you calling me Lovi? And why the fuck haven't you let me go?"

Antonio laughed. "I call you Lovi because you're cute and I've been doing it all year. And I haven't let you go because I won the bet and since I won I won't let you go!"

"Fucking ass." Growled Lovino. Antonio just sighed and breathe in slowly. "How the fuck do you always know what the fuck I'm always eating?"

Antonio laughed. "Oh, Lovi, Lovi, Lovi… There is no way I'd tell you my secret."

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Basketball. Basketball. That is what they were doing for sport. Shirts vs skins. Now Antonio… sexy, sexy tanned sexy Antonio… was shirts damn it. But Lovino was skins! Sexy, sexy tanned sexy Lovino. Feliciano was also skins if anyone cares. Sexy, sexy tanned sexy Feliciano. And Ludwig… was sitting on in the bleachers. He had a case of bronchitis and breathing was pretty difficult for him at the moment. So no sexy German was playing basketball today. And as an added note the girls were outside doing soccer so no drooling over sexy Italians and Spaniards for them. Unlucky.

Lovino was silently muttering protests the whole time. Something about Antonio perving on him with his eyes and feeling violated and stuff. But Antonio would never do that to Lovino… well only when Lovi wasn't looking.

Soon the game got underway and Antonio was distracted… Well wouldn't you be if there was a sexy tanned Italian running around in front of you? I know I would… but Antonio managed to block some shots and make a few good passes.

"FUCKING BLOCK THAT TOMATO FUCKER!" Snapped Lovino. The teacher warned Lovino to stop swearing or he would get benched. Lovino growled and hissed. "Fine… WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST SAY? BLOCK HIM!"

Antonio laughed and quickly passed Lovino and slammed dunked the ball. "Half time." Said the teacher and everyone let out a relieved sigh and walked over to the bleachers to rest and get a drink. Antonio sat on the bench above Ludwig and grinned.

"Get a good view of Feliciano Ludwig?" He asked.

Ludwig's face went bright red. "No… I wasn't paying attention."

"Ve? You weren't watching?" Asked a slightly mortified Feliciano (he was still shirtless and his chest was glistening slightly with sweat). Ludwig's face went a darker shade of red.

"No I was watching!" Said Ludwig.

"Fucking potato bastard." Growled Lovino. "Don't look at my brother with your perverted gaze."

"No… I… what I mean is…" Stuttered Ludwig. "I… um… Oh look Antonio, Lovino isn't wearing a shirt." Ludwig… the master of deflection. Antonio looked at Lovino and grinned. Lovino was indeed shirtless; sweat glistened on his perfectly tanned chest, a few drops rolled down his face and down his chest, some of his hair clung to his sweaty forehead and his ever present scowl was on his face.

"Fosososososososososo." Laughed Antonio darkly. "You look so _caliente como el_." Lovino blushed a dark shade of red. "Now you look like a tomato! So cute!"

"Ve? What did he say Lovi?" Asked Feliciano. "I can't speak Spanish."

"HE SAID NOTHING!" Shouted Lovino. "HE SAID NOTHING AT ALL! DON'T ASK ME WHAT HE SAID AGAIN!" Antonio quickly took this opportunity to hug Lovino. "GET THE FUCK OF ME BITCH!"

"Never!" Cried Antonio. "I refuse to let you go!"

"Half times over." Called the teacher. "Get back on the field." Lovino quickly pushed away from Antonio and ran back onto the field. Antonio just sighed and followed.

"Ve… You'll watch me this time Ludwig?" Asked Feliciano.

Ludwig nodded. "Yes Feli I'll watch you."

"KEEP YOUR FUCKING EYES TO YOURSELF!" Screamed Lovino.

"One more time and your benched Lovino!" Said the teacher.

"May as well go out with a bang…" Mumbled Lovino. "SHIT! FUCK! HELL! CUNT! BITCH! ASSHOLE! FUCKTARD! CLIT LICKING HEFFER! MOTHER FUCKER! DOUCH BAG! COCK SUCKER!"

The teacher blew his whistle, instantly silencing Lovino. "That's it Vargas!" He snapped. "Detention!"

Lovino smirked. "I thought you said I was going to get benched?"

"Don't be a smart ass."

Lovino rolled his eyes and walked over to the bleachers and sat down. He was mumbling something about getting a detention and not being able to play in the second half. Antonio was upset about this too. There was no sexy Lovino for him to fawn over. But he made the best of a bad situation.

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Needless to say Antonio's team won by ten points. There were cheers from the sophmore's and a few grumbles from the freshmen but it was all good. "You're really good at basketball Antonio." Said Feliciano happily.

Antonio grinned and patted Feliciano's back. "You're pretty good too _amigo_." Everyone was walking out of the gym to go back to the change rooms. As soon as Antonio stepped out of the gym he felt like he was going to be sick. He could smell something thick and metallic in the air. It made him gage.

"What's wrong with you tomato bastard?" Asked Lovino. "You look like you're going to be sick."

Antonio took a deep breath and sighed. "I'm fine… just a little queasy. I'm so glad you care about me Lovi!"

Lovino's face went bright red. "I don't give a fuck about you! I just don't want you puking everywhere that's all."

Antonio smiled and walked over to Ludwig. "I need to speak with you for a moment okay?" He pulled Ludwig away from everyone and whispered in his ear. "I smell blood."

Ludwig's eyes widened. "Where? Whose blood?"

"Bathroom closest to the east entrance of the school." Antonio gulped. "I'm sorry to say this… but I think its Gilbert's blood."

The colour drained from Ludwig's face. "Oh, no. Thanks for telling me." Ludwig quickly took off down the hall. Antonio sighed. He hoped for Gilbert's sake he was wrong. But he never was… not when it came to blood.

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Antonio was really worried. Even while he was getting changed he could still smell that disgusting metallic small. He could feel bile bubbling up his throat. Soon he had finished and was walking out of the school. Francis and Ludwig were waiting for him.

"He's gone Antonio." Said Francis. "He ran away after he lost it."

Antonio gulped. "You let him run away?" He looked at Ludwig. "Why didn't you do what you always do when he gets like that?"

"Matthew was there." Said Ludwig. "I couldn't do that while he was watching."

There was an uneasy silence. Antonio cleared his throat. "So do you have anything I can tack him with?" Ludwig nodded and held up a blood stained watch.

"I managed to take this off him before he ran away." Said Ludwig as he passed Antonio the watch.

Antonio nodded, held it up to his nose and took a deep breath. "I've got him… but if he got on a bus I won't be able to find him."

Ludwig nodded. "I know… I'm going to check around our street and Francis is going to check the park."

Francis checked his watch. "I'll call in half an hour to see how you guys are going."

Antonio and Ludwig nodded before heading off in their own direction. They all hoped that they got to Gilbert before something really bad happened.

**TBC**

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><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>REVIEW!

**Translations:**

_**caliente como el- **_hot like that


	11. Tell the truth or Lie to me

**Shinigami-cat: **Rules of friendship #8… When you fall ~ I will laugh at your clumsy ass, then I'll help you up… eventually… I OWN NOTHING!

**Tell the truth or Lie to me**

_There's a stain on my hand and it's red  
>oh my god am I losing it<br>I can't help what I've done or I said  
>It's the buttons I push (when she says)<em>

'_Hand of blood' by Bullet for my Valentine_

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><p>Gilbert was walking through an old warehouse in the city. He had a meat cleaver in one hand and a smirk on his face. "Three blind mice." He sang. "Three blind mice… <em>Sehen, wie sie laufen...<em>" He struck the blunt side of the knife against a metal crate. "_Sehen, wie sie laufen… Liefen sie alle nac__h dem farme'rs Frau__ …_" He knew his prey trembling in fear, just a few feet ahead and he loved it. "_Sie schnitten ihnen die Schwänze mit einem Tranchiermesser"_ He slowly turned past a stack of crates. "_Hat auch immer Sie sehen, wie ein Blick in Ihr Leben als drei blinden Mäusen?_"

He grinned at the sight that met him. It was a door to the freezer. He opened it and stepped inside. This was like one of those huge walk in freezers that you would see at a butchers or something. Anyway, there were a bunch of rusty hooks hanging from the roof. The place was old and rundown. It hadn't been used in years. Which was good because that meant he wouldn't get frostbite from spending hours in that room. There was only one carcass in the room. But this one was still alive and hanging from a hook by a pair of hand cuffs.

"Miss me much?" Asked Gilbert sweetly.

"Why are you doing this?" He asked weakly without lifting his head. "… Why?"

Gilbert laughed. "I just can't bloody help it! That's why!" He walked over to them and pulled them off the hook and let them fall to the ground. He quickly kicked them in the ribs a couple of times before crouching down next to them. "You look so fucking funny when you cry."

"Please." He said as blood started to dribble down his lip. "Please don't do this… Please Gilbert…" There was a mixture of terror and pain in his voice.

Gilbert laughed again "I would but I can't! You know how it is sweetie. Make one wrong decision and you live with it for the rest of your life." He pulled him up by his hair and pressed the cleaver against his neck. "Besides I can't and I won't!" He slammed his victims head against the ground and swiftly hacked off their head with the cleaver.

He laughed like a maniac as their blood gushed out and splattered all over the floor and walls, but Gilbert didn't stop there. He continued to hack away until there was nothing but a pile of disfigured limbs and blood soaked clothing.

Gilbert laughed and slowly stood up. "I fucking killed him!" He laughed. "I FUCKING KILLED HIM! Keseseseseseseses. HAVE I FINNISHED YET? HE'S FUCKING DEAD! Kesesesesesesesesese. PRAISE ME! Keseseseseseseseseseseseses. PRAISE ME!" Gilbert leaned against a wall and slowly slid back down it. His laughter quickly turned to tears. "I killed him… I fucking killed him… Someone please kill me… KILL ME!"

"Gilbert." Called a distant voice. "Gilbert."

Gilbert slowly looked around. "Who's there?"

"Gilbert… Gilbert… Snap out of it!"

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Gilbert's eyes snapped open. He was looking into Francis's deep blue eyes. He tried to move his hands but Francis was holding onto them with a vice like grip. "Gilbert." He said. "Can you hear me?"

Gilbert rolled his eyes. "_Ja_ I can hear you… Where are we?"

Francis sighed and let Gilbert go. "We're in the park… one of the darkest parts too."

"How did you find me?"

"Your mind was practically screaming out in pain." Stated Francis. "How did you get here?"

Gilbert sighed and looked at his bloodied hands. He could see bits of glass sticking out of them. "I… I don't know… I remember running out of the school then… nothing. My mind is a blank." He looked up at Francis with terror in his eyes. "Francis… I'm scared."

Francis helped Gilbert to his feet. "I know… Let' just go home before someone sees you." Francis got his phone and called Ludwig. "Ludwig. I've found him… No… Yes… Alive… The park… Five minutes? See you then. Come on Gilbert Ludwig will pick us up in a bit." Gilbert stuffed his hands in his pockets and followed Francis to the street.

Gilbert said nothing the whole ride home. He just felt numb and sick. He hated it when he lost control like that. It made him feel so weak. When Gilbert was inside Ludwig took him to the kitchen and began to pull the glass out of Gilbert's hands.

"Why do you do this to yourself?" Asked Ludwig as he pulled a shard of glass out of Gilbert's thumb.

"I don't know." Gilbert said numbly.

Antonio was busy threading nylon to stich up Gilbert's deep cuts. "You really scared us _amigo._"

"I'm sorry."

Francis was pouring antiseptic onto a wash cloth. "What triggered it this time?"

"Ivan was talking about demons… and Matthew said…"

"He said something that pushed you over the edge but of course he didn't know that his comment would set you off." Said Francis.

Gilbert rolled his eyes. "I thought you said you would stay out of my head."

Francis shrugged and dabbed Gilbert's cuts. "It can't be helped if your mind is practically screaming it out."

"Shut up Francis." Mumbled Gilbert. He looked over at the pile of glass that was slowly piling up. "Damn… and you haven't even started in my left hand yet."

Ludwig nodded and continued to work. When Ludwig started on his other hand Francis and Antonio began cleaning and stitching his hand up. As the worked Gilbert's mind began to wonder. _'What am I going to tell Matthew? How can I explain this?'_

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Matthew was slowly pacing around his room. He was holding Kumajiro in his hands and was muttering to himself. "What's going on? Why did he freak out?" He kept replaying the moment in his mind. It scared him beyond belief. The screaming, the blood, the way Gilbert refused to let him go, speaking in German… again and the unsettling feeling that he had done something like that before.

He would have continued to think about this if it hadn't have been for a loud mouthed American. "Mattie!" He called. "The freaky albino wants to see you."

"I'm only freaky because I'm too awesome!" Called the disembodied voice of Gilbert. Suddenly the albino appeared in the door way. He looked a little nervous. His hands were buried in his black hoodie and he looked everywhere but Matthew.

"If you need anything just call!" Said Alfred. "I'll be downstairs with Artie!" Alfred closed the door when he left. When he was gone Matthew cleared his throat.

"How are your hands?" He asked.

Gilbert reluctantly pulled his hands out of his pockets and showed Matthew his bandaged hands. "I'll live… I guess you want to know why I flipped shit back there."

Matthew nodded and sat down on his bed. "If you wouldn't mind."

Gilbert leaned against the door and sighed. "It all started two years ago… Hell it seems like a million life time's ago. Anyway, I fell in love with… this girl. She was my everything and I was hers. We completed each other… You get it right?"

Matthew nodded. "You loved each other I get it."

Gilbert rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "Well… everything was going well. We had our lives all planed out." A look of pure bliss spread across Gilbert's face. "After school we planned to move to Germany and live in a cottage. I was going to be a mechanic and she was going to open a bakery. It was perfect, but then…" A look of rage and sorrow twisted his features. "It was my fault… I… I… she…"

"What happened? Go on." Matthew was eager to hear what Gilbert had to say.

Gilbert clenched his teeth. "I killed her… I fucking killed her… I told her to stay home that night… I told her that we would go out the next day because I had stuff to do. I killed her."

"I don't understand." Said Matthew. "What happened?"

Gilbert took a deep breath. "That night… her house caught on fire. Everyone escaped but her… As soon as I heard her house was on fire I ran over there and… I… I heard her screaming my name Matthew. She screamed my name as she burned to death."

Matthew's mouth dropped. That was just too horrific for words. "Oh, lord."

"That was when I realized something important Matthew… There is no god and if there is one I blame him for her death. So whenever I hear anything to do with god I freak out a bit… okay a lot… Honestly I blame myself for what happened but talking about the big guy sets me off…"

Matthew nodded. He vaguely understood what Gilbert was saying. "So you fell in love, but you blame yourself and god for her death?"

Gilbert nodded. "That's about right… I also have to take medication to stop myself from going insane whenever I see a religious symbol… Keseses I remember when I couldn't ever write the letter t without turning into a crying mess."

When Gilbert finished his story there was an awkward silence. Matthew was still clutching Kumajuro's fur, trying to figure out what to say. "… Wow."

Gilbert sighed. "I know… So anyway sorry I freaked you out and stuff… I'll just get going."

Matthew jumped up. "You don't have to go… If you don't want to."

"Okay Mattie!" Said Gilbert. He no longer seemed nervous, sad or angry. He had changed back to being happy and cheerful. He jumped onto Matthew bed and looked at Matthew expectantly. "Well… What ch wanna do?" He asked.

Matthew surprised by how happy he now seemed. "Um… we could just talk… If you wanted to that is."

Gilbert fist pumped. "Sweet. I really need to vent." Said Gilbert cheerfully. "So let's see… Antonio and his little Italian love interest. I have no idea what he sees it that pissy little bastard. At least Ludwig has some taste, he likes Feliciano and don't even get me started on Francis and Arthur. Francis is all 'I love you!' and Arthurs all 'Go away wanka!' It's damn funny but it's still annoying."

Matthew sat next to Gilbert and listened to him rant on and on about his families love life for about an hour. But by the end of it Matthew wasn't really listening to Gilbert anymore. He was busy concentrating on Gilbert's features. _'His eyes are a really nice shade of red.' _He thought. _'And his lips are a little thin but they are still really smooth… Did I just think what I think I thought?'_ Matthew's face went bright red. _'NO! I shouldn't be thinking about Gilbert like that! I'm not gay… I think… TOO CONFUSING!'_

"… But I guess I've wasted enough of your time Mattie."

"What?"

Gilbert laughed and got off Matthew's bed. "I've been talking none stop for an hour and Ludwig expected me to be home ages ago."

Matthew sighed. "Okay Gilbert. I'll see you tomorrow then." Gilbert grinned and walked towards the door. "Oh by the way Gilbert." Said Matthew. "I was just wondering… If it wasn't too much trouble… Could you tell me what her name was?"

Gilbert gave Matthew a confused look. "What girl?"

"The girl that um… you know…"

"Oh her!" Said Gilbert. "Well her name was… Matilda."

**TBC**

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><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>Matilda hu?Review!

**Translations:**

_**Sehen, wie sie laufen- **_See how they run

_**Liefen sie alle nach dem farme'rs Frau- **_They all ran after the farmer's wife

_**Sie schnitten ihnen die Schwänze mit einem Tranchiermesser**__**- **_She cut off their tails with a carving knife

_**Hat auch immer Sie sehen, wie ein Blick in Ihr Leben als drei blinden Mäusen?- **_Did ever you see such a sight in your life as three blind mice?


	12. Assignments I hate them

**Shinigami-cat: **LOL watching Primeval, giant worm episode. So cool… I OWN NOTHING!

**Assignments… I hate them**

_If I needed someone to control me  
>If I needed someone to hold me down<br>I would change my direction  
>And save myself before I<br>If I needed someone to control me  
>If I needed someone to push me around<br>I would change my direction  
>And save myself before I drown….drown<em>

'_Drown' by Three days grace_

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><p>"Mattie!" Whined Gilbert. "I don't wanna!"<p>

"You're going to have to at some point Gilbert." Sighed Matthew. He had been waiting for Gilbert to do this all day and he was getting really tired of him avoiding it.

"But Matthew!" Cried Gilbert. "It's just wrong and gross and… I'm not going to touch it, let alone lick it!"

"I didn't ask you to lick it! Quit being such a baby and get on the bed already."

Gilbert sat next to Matthew and huffed. "This is freaking abuse this is."

"It's not abuse… It's kind of fun when you get started."

"FUN?" Cried Gilbert. "How can an assignment be fun?"

Matthew sighed. It turned out that while Gilbert was smashing mirrors Ivan gave the class an assignment on angels and their significance in medieval society. "I know it's stressful for you Gilbert but if you want to pass history you need to do this."

Gilbert pouted. "I don't like this at all Mattie. I've had to up my medication to make sure I don't throw a fit! You know what the side effects are? Hyperactivity, insomnia, short attention span, hunger and red eyes… MY EYES ARE ALREADY RED ENOUGH!"

Matthew sighed and began to flip through a book he had borrowed from the school library. "They could always be redder." Suddenly Gilbert pulled Matthew into his arms. Matthew's back was pressed up against Gilbert's chest. "MAPLE!" Cried Matthew. "What are you doing?"

Gilbert chuckled. "Just seeing what you're reading." He rested his chin on Matthew's head making the blond blush. "This book is crap. Where the hell did you get it?"

"It's a book from the library to help with the assignment." Mumbled Matthew. He could feel Gilbert's arms snake around his waist.

"This book is crap." Said Gilbert again. "I've got another one that's a billion times better than that crap. Go get it."

Matthew pouted. "I don't know where it is… Bedside's I can't get it if you don't let me go."

Gilbert blushed and gently pushed Matthew away. "Box labelled 'Crap I want to throw out but Ludwig is a bitch and won't let me'. It should on that top shelf."

Matthew sighed and went over to Gilbert's bookshelf… Why did he even have one anyway? It was completely empty and there was only one box on the highest shelf. "You're so lazy." Mumbled Matthew.

"So I'm told." Mused Gilbert. He stretched out on his bed and yawned. "Ludwig tells me that mainly though… But then again he has a pole shoved up his ass most of the time." Matthew sighed and slowly shifted the box but didn't expect it to be so heavy. He yelped as the box fell on his head. He hit the ground and groaned. "HOLY HELL!" Gilbert was at Matthew's side in a matter of seconds. "Are you okay?"

Matthew slowly opened his eyes and blinked a couple of times. "Next time you get it." He mumbled. Matthew ran his fingers through his hair and was surprised to feel something hot and sticky in his hair. "Am I bleeding?"

"Crap… I'll be back." Said Gilbert. He quickly ran out of the room and up the steps "FRANCIS!" He yelled. "WHERE THE HELL ARE THE FUCKING BANDAGES?"

Matthew sighed and sat up. He knew Gilbert was just exaggerating things. It was only a little cut right in his hair line. He began to gather the books that had fallen out of the box. Some of them were really old and worn. Some of the pages were yellow and cracked. He opened one book and a sheet of paper fell out. Curious to see what was on it Matthew picked it up and read it.

_Dear Gilbert_

_It seems like years since we've last spoken. I would love to tell you about all the wonderful things that have happened since last time, but first some more depressing news. Papa has passed away leaving me quite alone in this old house. I will be living with my cousin from now on. I'm sorry I had to tell you that but it seemed appropriate giving my father's views on people like us. My father has left me a large sum of money in his will and I will be acquiring it as soon as possible so we can start again. Just think we can live in Germany and live out are dreams. The roses we planted are blooming again._

_Faithfully yours_

_Ihr Vögelchen_

Matthew recognised the word _Vögelchen _because Gilbert used to call him that. His face went red. '_OMG! This must be a letter from Matilda! Oh, man. This is just… Oh, man!' _Matthew quickly stuffed the letter back into the book and put it into the box. He then started to pick up more of them and put them away. Some pages had fallen out and were strewn around the place.

There was a photo amongst them and Matthew had a look at it. It was a picture of Gilbert, but he was wearing really old cloths… I mean ancient! These threads would have been worn around Victorian times! Top hat, cane, vest and the photo was even in that weird sepia tone colour. Another thing that was weird about it was that it was cut in half so half of the picture was missing. Suddenly Gilbert burst into the room carrying the first aid kit and Matthew shoved the picture into his pocket.

"Why are you standing?" Asked Gilbert. "You could have a brain haemorrhage! Or something worse! You might die Mattie! You might die!"

Matthew rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to die Gilbert." He sighed. "It's not even that bad really. It's just a little cut."

"JUST A LITTLE CUT?" Cried Gilbert. He started ranting on about cuts and infections and diseases while patching up Matthew. Needless to say they got nothing done.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Matthew didn't know why he took the picture, but he did. He didn't know why he carried it around with him everywhere, but he did. He didn't know why Gilbert never asked about the missing picture, but he was glad. The only other thing on his mind was the assignment. Gilbert was right… that book was crap.

So Matthew was currently talking to Mr Braginski about the assignment. "I just can't find anything." Sighed Matthew. "I'm really trying but… it's too hard."

Ivan smiled. "That's okay Matthew." He said. "You can try the local library or check the store room up the back. Take your time… You have a free period after lunch right?" Matthew nodded. "That's good! I have no lessons for the rest of the day so come back after lunch. The door will be unlocked, da."

And that is exactly what Matthew did. After lunch he walked into the history class room and walked into the store room. He turned on the light and closed the door. It was surprisingly large on the inside. There were heaps of books piled up all over the place. When Matthew finally found a book that looked useful he heard the classroom door swing open and someone shouting… was it Gilbert?

Matthew walked over to the door and opened it slightly to see a very pissed off looking Gilbert and a very calm looking Ivan. "What the fuck Ivan." Snapped Gilbert. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I believe you were the one that wanted to talk to me." Said Ivan. "But if you just want to swear at me I'll be taking my leave." Ivan turned towards the door and began to walk away.

Gilbert grabbed Ivan's scarf. "No wait… I need to talk to you about… that thing."

Ivan smirked and did something that neither Gilbert nor Matthew expected; He pushed Gilbert back onto the front desk and crashed his lips against Gilberts. Gilbert squirmed and tried to push Ivan away but Ivan grabbed Gilbert's hands and pinned them above his head. Suddenly he pulled away and smirked. "Did you mean this thing or the other thing?"

Gilbert clenched his teeth. "FUCK OFF YOU FAT PRICK!"

"I would much rather fuck you." Growled Ivan as he kissed Gilbert again. Matthew felt like he was going to be sick.

Gilbert managed to knee Ivan and wriggle out of his grip. "I fucking hate you." He spat. "I was talking about the other thing. It's too hard. Is there another way?"

Ivan smirked. "There is… and it is quite easy but you have to do something for me first."

Gilbert raised an eyebrow. "What do I have to do?"

"Kolkolkolkol." Chanted Ivan. "You have to offer me your… unique services."

Matthew's jaw dropped. Did he hear what he thinks he just heard? Gilbert looked shocked too. "No way in hell Ivan. I'm not going to do that."

Ivan tilted his head. "Why not… it's not like we haven't done this before."

"Shut up." Snapped Gilbert. "I was venerable back then! You shouldn't have used me like that!"

"But you were practically begging for it."

Matthew felt like he was going to be sick. He could not believe what he was hearing. _'Ivan and Gilbert… Oh, lord no… that's just… Oh man.'_

"Shut up." Snapped Gilbert. "Just tell me what I have to do… If the other way is as easy as you say…"

Ivan smiled childishly. "I would rather talk to you in a more private location. You never know who might be listening in on us…" Ivan said with a smirk.

Matthew's stomach turned. Ivan knew Matthew was still in the room.

Gilbert sighed. "You're right… But why didn't you tell me about the other way before."

Ivan laughed. "That way is only easier than the other one if you've hit rock bottom and can't get back out. Which you have already done."

"What are you talking about?" Asked Gilbert hesitantly. Ivan grinned and placed a hand on Gilbert's chest.

"I can tell you've hit rock bottom… You didn't think I would notice those bandages on your hands?" Gilbert glanced at his hands and gulped. "Honestly I'm surprised that Matthew is even still alive given your… history."

Gilbert punched Ivan in the face. "SHUT UP!" He screamed. "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"

Ivan laughed. "You are funny Gilbert." He turned and walked towards the door. "How long till you lose it again? When you've calmed down we'll talk. After school perhaps?"

Gilbert pushed past him. "I hate you Ivan. I'm going to dance on your grave."

"You'll be waiting a very long time for that then Gilbert."

The door close and Matthew felt like he was going to be sick. This was too over whelming. _'Gilbert and Ivan… Oh man… but Ivan is way older than Gilbert… Ivan kissed Gilbert even though he knew I was here.' _Matthew could feel his heart breaking but he didn't know why. _'Why does it hurt so much?'_

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Matthew and Gilbert were in the park. He really wanted to know what the hell was going on with him and Ivan. He wanted to ask him all kinds of questions but… it was no use. He just couldn't bring himself to. Gilbert just seemed to… happy?

"So what did you get up to in your free period?" Asked Gilbert.

"Nothing much." Lied Matthew. "What about you?"

Gilbert shrugged. "Same old same old. By the way I'm going away for the weekend."

"Where are you going?" Asked Matthew.

"I don't know." Said Gilbert. "I just need to get away for a while. Maybe I'll leave for a week. That would really piss Ludwig off."

Matthew couldn't help but feel worried. He had a feeling Gilbert's going away had something to do with Ivan. "It'll be lonely without you."

Gilbert laughed. "I know. But here's something you can do to pass the time. Figure out this riddle for me; I am a word. I am a sad word, such a terribly sad and lonely word. I mean anger, pain, malice, suicide, murder, death, wrath and jealousy. I can occasionally mean love, happiness, life and beauty. I'm said almost every day but no one truly knows what I mean. What am I?"

Matthew shrugged. "I give up tell me."

Gilbert laughed again. "You have to figure it out for yourself Mattie. I'll see you on Monday okay?"

Matthew sighed. "Okay I'll see you on Monday then."

Gilbert didn't show up for school that week.

**TBC**

* * *

><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>The plot continues to thicken! If it gets any thicker I'll be able to use it as cement! REVIEW!

**Translations:**

_**Ihr Vögelchen-**_ your little birdie


	13. Suspicious, Returns and Confusion

**Shinigami-cat:** I'm immensely depressed lately… So don't expect anything too happy in this chapter. Is it funny for me to think that the previous chapter were cheerful? But then again knowing me it's going to change into something cute and fluffy… damn wait a second… this is the 13th chapter... bad luck, fun... I OWN NOTHING!

**Suspicious, Returns and Confusion**

_Seems you're wanting me to stay  
>But my dreams would surely waste away<br>And I still have nowhere else to go  
>So I wait for you to<br>Take me all the way  
>Take me all the way<em>

_Push me under_  
><em>Pull me further<em>  
><em>Take me all the way<em>  
><em>Take me all the way<em>

'_Take Me Under' by Three Days Grace_

* * *

><p>"Sorry Birdie. I have to go."<p>

"Please don't! I want you to stay. Even if it's just for a minute… please."

Gilbert ran his fingers through his lovers hair. He loved it when his lover begged for him to stay. Gilbert leaned forward and whispered "I'm really sorry. I have to go."

"But you said you would stay!" His lover whined. "Please… you promised me!" His lover wrapped their arms around Gilbert's waist. "If you leave… I don't know what I'd do."

Gilbert hated it when his lover said things like that. He knew that his lover was unstable… really unstable… Like him. "Don't be stupid Birdie. I'll be back really soon. West would worry if I'm gone for too long."

"But-"

"I'm sorry Birdie." Said Gilbert. He softly kissed his lover's lips and got of the bed. "I'll see you later."

"Can we see each other tonight?"

"Sorry but I have stuff to do tonight. I'll see you the day after."

"I love you Gilbert."

"I love you too Mat-"

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

"-thew. Wake up already!"

Matthew's eyes snapped open. He sat up in his bed and was face to face with Alfred. He was all wide eyed and sparkly. "What is it Alfred?"

"Dude! Arthur like totally said yes!"

"… To what?"

"Dude you totally haven't been paying attention to my life have you? I finally confessed to Arthur yesterday and I was all like what if he said no! Or hated me!" Alfred was going on and on slowly giving Matthew a head ach. "So long story short he called me a git and asked me why I didn't tell him sooner! It was so awesome!"

Matthew rolled his eyes. "You woke me up for that?"

"Well… that and you seem down lately… and being the hero that I am I wanted to know what was up."

Matthew sighed. "I've just been worried about Gilbert… He hasn't shown up all week."

"You're worried about him?"

"Well… that and I've been having weird dreams…"

"About what?"

"I don't know." Sighed Matthew. "They're just… weird." _'And also a bit erotic… I might need a cold shower… I so did not just think that.'_

"How are they weird?" Asked Alfred. For once he seemed interested in Matthew's life.

Matthew shrugged. "I don't really know… They just seemed to start in the middle and end before it even begins… It's really weird."

"You're hurting my brain." Complained Alfred. "Arthur told me when you have messed up dreams you've eaten something weird or done something strange."

Matthew frowned. "I don't think I've eaten anything weird… And the only strange thing is that Gilbert hasn't been around all week when he said he was going to be back on Monday."

Alfred shrugged. "Sounds like you miss him a lot if you know what I mean. Wink, wink."

"What?" Asked Matthew. "Sure I miss him but I don't like him that way!"

"Sure Mattie." Said Alfred. He got off Matthew's bed and headed to the door. "Well see you Mattie. I got a date with Arthur! Enjoy your Saturday!"

Matthew sighed. Why did Alfred have to wake him up so damn early on a Saturday? He decided it was just his brother being stupid again. He got up, had a quick shower, pulled on his hoodie, ate breakfast and went for a walk. Yay Saturday.

It was a nice cool day so Matthew went for a walk in the park. Okay he did do that a lot but come on. There was barely anyone around so no one bothered or bumped into him. While he was walking he allowed his mind to wander… Not surprisingly he was thinking about Gilbert.

'_Where is he?' _He wondered. _'He said he would be back on Monday… but it's been a week… and Ivan's been away all week too. What if… The other day… Oh man… I should jump to conclusions… but they kissed and Ivan said that they had done it before… That's just sick and…'_

"Look out!" Cried a voice. Matthew turned and was hit in the head with… an orange? "I'm so sorry!" Cried the voice. Matthew sighed and picked up the orange.

"It's okay really." He said.

The woman (who apparently belonged to said voice) took the orange from Matthew and smiled. She had short silverish hair and HUGE knockers. I mean these things were like two basket balls shoved down her shirt. "I'm really sorry." She said. "I tripped and everything went flying and, and I'm so sorry. Oh no! I smashed the peanut butter! Ivan is going to kill me!"

Matthew's eyes went wide. "Ivan… as in Ivan Braginski? My history teacher?"

The woman's eyes lit up. "My little brother is your teacher? That's wonderful! My name is Katyusha. Who might you be? Brother talks about his student's all the time!"

"I'm Matthew." Katyusha… why did that name sound familiar to him? "Do you know where he is? He hasn't shown up all week."

Katyusha frowned and looked at her feet. "Ivan's been really sick. He has a stomach bug or something. But he's feeling better. That's why I went shopping. Natalia wanted some things too."

Natalia… Now that name really rang a bell. She was that girl that Gilbert told him to stay away from… Now he remembered where he heard Katyusha's name before. She was someone else that Gilbert said to stay away from, but she seemed so nice.

"So Katyusha… do you know a guy called Gilbert?"

Katyusha visibly paled. "… Gilbert? No… I don't."

"But he's one of your brother's students. He should have talked about him. You said he talks about his student's all the time."

"But… he doesn't talk about that albino kid!" Cried Katyusha.

"If he doesn't talk about him how do you know he's albino?" Questioned Matthew.

Katyusha gasped. "I don't know… I… I was just guessing! Goodbye Matthew." She quickly turned and ran as far away from Matthew as possible.

Matthew frowned. _'What's up with that? What is she hiding?'_

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Matthew was walking back to the house and thinking things over. He was still worried about Gilbert and after meeting Katyusha his fears grew. Francis was sitting on the front lawn of the house. He looked really glum. "What's up Francis?" Asked Matthew.

Francis sighed. "Oh, nothing much Matthew… just sinking into depression again…"

"Why?"

Francis looked up at the sky and closed his eyes. "I confessed to Arthur and he called me and I quote 'You're a disgusting slimy frog. I bloody hate you. You're nothing more than a wanka. Go away.' Then he poured a slushy in my face."

"Oh…" Matthew felt oddly guilty. He knew that Arthur was going out with his brother. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Said Francis. "It always ends like this… I guess I'll never be truly happy again… None of us will."

"Um… if it isn't too much to ask… what do you mean?"

Francis smiled weakly. "Well every time I fall deeply in love, someone always manages to snatch them away… Has that ever happened to you?"

Matthew thought for a second. He had never really fallen in love really… He was more at the stage of questioning his sexuality at the moment _'You know... strange dreams involving Gilbert, worrying about him and so on'_. "I don't think so… do you know where Gilbert is?"

Francis shrugged. "I don't know. He just left a note. He'll turn up eventually. It's not like he hasn't done this before…"

"He's done this before?"

Francis nodded. "I wouldn't worry unless he disappears for about five… six years… after sixty we should presume he's dead… or has joined a circus."

Matthew was about to say something when the sound of a motor bike filling the street. Gilbert was back. He pulled into the driveway. Walked over to Francis and collapsed next to him. He didn't even take off his helmet. Francis looked over at Gilbert and took off his helmet. Gilbert rolled over onto his back and sighed. Gilbert looked terrible; dark circles under his eyes, chapped, cracked lips, splotchy red marks on his face and his eyes were dull… almost a washed out water colour.

"So… How are you Gilbert?" Asked Francis.

"My ass hurts." Sighed Gilbert. "Don't take that in a perverted way Francis. I was just on the bike for two hours straight."

"I wasn't taking it in a perverted way… Too depressed. Matthew's here by the way."

Gilbert looked up at Matthew and smiled. "Hey there Birdie."

Matthew smiled weakly. "Hi Gilbert… Where did you go?"

"Hiking." Said Gilbert. "I just had to get away for a while. Seven days roughing it out in the woods… Should have packed a tent or sleeping bag."

'_I want to talk to him. I have to… I… I… Why can't I talk to him?'_

"You might want to go inside." Sighed Francis. "I don't think Ludwig wants to drag you inside again."

"What happened to you?"

"Arthur rejected me… I'm going to go down to the pharmacy to get some anti-depressants or a knife… I haven't decided yet… Maybe both."

Gilbert groaned and stood up leaving his helmet behind. "Night Mattie. I'm going to sleep."

"It's early afternoon." Said Matthew.

"Don't care." Said Gilbert. "I'm sleepy."

Matthew's heart sunk a little in his chest. _'Okay Gilbert… I'll see you tomorrow… I guess…"_

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Matthew was lying on the coffee table. He was surprised it could support him, but then again it had held his dad and Alfred when it was football season… Every stinking year. _'I want to speak with him… but I can't… I just can't… Why did he look so beat? I know he said that it was just tired but it just seems… Today's just too strange…'_

"BIRDIE!" Screamed Gilbert and he ran into the room and tripped over the lounge. Matthew sat up and looked down at Gilbert; his ass in the air and his face on the on the ground.

"… Are you okay Gilbert?" Asked Matthew.

Gilbert looked up and smiled at Matthew. "Just wanted to know if you solved that riddle yet."

"Um…" Matthew hadn't even given it a second thought. "I haven't even thought about it…"

Gilbert's face fell. "Oh… okay… how was your week?"

"Um… Mr Braginski was away for a week and we had a sub."

"What was there name?" Asked Gilbert.

"Mr Ziwingli."

Gilbert laughed. "Ziwingil? What the hell kind of name is that?"

"Wouldn't laugh if I were you." Warned Matthew. "He almost bit off some kids head."

"That would have been cool." Smirked Gilbert. "Um… Mattie help me up please? My awesome blood is rushing to my head."

Matthew sighed and grabbed Gilbert's hand helping him to his feet. But when Gilbert was almost standing he quickly yanked Matthew's arm. After a brief struggle Matthew ended up pinned down on the couch and Gilbert was straddling him. Matthew could feel his face heat up. He turned his face away, but Gilbert grabbed his chin and made Matthew face him. Gilbert smirked. There was a glint in his eyes that truly terrified him. It seemed hungry and predatorily.

"Gilbert… What are you doing?"

Gilbert smirked and gently pressed his lips against Matthew's. Matthew froze unable to truly register what was happening. But when Gilbert's tongue brushed against his lips he was thrown back into reality. _'OMG! Gilbert is kissing me! HE'S KISSING ME!'_

It was such a shock he involuntarily gasped. Gilbert took the opportunity to slip in his tongue. Matthew had to admit it… Gilbert was an amazing kisser. The way his tongue twisted and turned. He couldn't help himself. He wrapped his arms around Gilbert's neck, tangled his fingers in Gilbert's silver hair and pulled him closer. _'Why dose he taste like mint? I bet I taste like maple syrup… WHY AM I STILL THINKING ABOUT THIS?'_

Soon they broke apart, each gasping for air. "_Ich liebe dich Matthew._" Panted Gilbert.

"I have no idea what you just said." Panted Matthew.

Gilbert rested his head against Matthew's shoulder. "It means I love you."

Matthew's eyes widened. _'WHAT? He loves me? Where did this come from? What do I do? What do I do? WHAT DO I DO? I… I… I haven't even figured my sexuality out yet!' _

"I love you Matthew." Repeated Gilbert. "Please… say something… please…"

Matthew just looked at Gilbert with wide eyes he was freaking out so much. "Gilbert… I… I… I."

Gilbert sighed and got off Matthew. "Just forget about it. Forget we did… forget I said… just forget it." Gilbert walked out of the lounge room. Matthew didn't move until he heard the door slam shut.

Matthew's body was trembling. Did that really just happen? Matthew's fingers ghosted over his lips. Tears began to form in the corner of his eyes. "My… my… that was my first kiss." He curled up into a ball on the couch and cried himself to sleep.

**TBC**

* * *

><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>Crap… it did turn out cheerful and happyish in the end… fuck… please review… fuck…

**Translations:**

_**Ich liebe dich Matthew: **_I love you Matthew._ (Seriously… If you didn't know that you are an idiot)_


	14. Will you regret it?

**Shinigami-cat: **Wow… I feel a little bit better now. Thanks for those kind reviews. Please don't hate me for the first half of this chapter okay… I OWN NOTHING!

**Will you regret it?**

_Thank you for being such a friend to me  
>Oh I pray a friend for life,<br>And have I ever told you how much you mean to me?  
>Oh you mean so much to me<br>I'm thinking all the time how to tell you how I feel, I'm contemplating phrases,  
>I'm gazing at eternity,<br>I am floating in serenity..._

_And I am so lost for words_  
><em>And I am so overwhelmed<em>

'_Broken wings' by Flyleaf_

* * *

><p>"Gilbert." Said Matthew. "I've been thinking about the other day and I l… l… lov… ILOVEYOUTOO." He shook his head. "That wouldn't work… I just stutter too much." He gave up and collapsed on his bed. He had been trying to figure out what to say to Gilbert. He had given it a lot of though. He couldn't get the memory out of his head. The taste, the smell and the taste. It was just driving him insane.<p>

He wanted be with him. He needed it. Every fibre of his being was craving it. But it wasn't in a lustful way… No, there was substance behind it. He wanted to be closer to Gilbert. He wanted to tell him how he felt… _'Why is it so hard…? I… I really love him right? At least I think I do… I need maple.' _

Matthew walked gown into the kitchen and was met with a rather unusual sight; Alfred had Arthur pinned against a wall in a heated lip lock. He could hear them moaning and he could see the bulge in Arthur's pants growing. Matthew quickly sneaked past them using his ninja skills to get his beloved maple before quickly running back to his room. _'I hope this won't happen every day… or at least I hope they get out of the kitchen before they jizz everywhere. I cook in there.' _

When he was back in his room. Far away from his brother and boyfriend. He sat on his bed and took a swing of the sweet liquid. "Okay." He said. "I'll tell him. As soon as I see him again I'll tell him!" He looked at the bottle in his hand. "But first…" He downed the rest of that maple.

**XoXoXo page break oXoXoX**

Matthew sighed and his eyes darted around the classroom. It was first period and he hadn't seen Gilbert since Saturday. _'Maybe he's sick… or skipping… it wouldn't be the first time.'_ But when he hadn't seen Gilbert and it was lunch time, he felt that something was wrong.

He walked down the halls towards the cafeteria. He didn't care that people were bumping into him anymore. He couldn't take it anymore. He ran into one of the bathrooms and locked himself in a cubical. He sat down on the toilet and started to hyperventilate. "It's me isn't it?" He asked no one. "He realized that he made a mistake and now he's avoiding me. He hate's me I just know it!"

He rolled up his sleeves and looked at the faded pink lines on his arms. He ran his fingertips along the lines. His breathing was shaky and uneven. "One year…" He muttered. "I haven't cut myself in one year… But now… he hates me I just know it." Matthew reached into his pocket to find a blade or something but he found nothing. He sighed and decided to go to his locker and get his scissors. They were sharp.

As he walked down the almost deserted corridor he happened to glance outside for a second and caught a glimpse of something silver. He stopped walking and had another look. His jaw dropped. Gilbert was just standing out there on the field. Matthew immediately took off down the hall. His heart was racing. _'I have to tell him!' _

He burst through the doors of the school and ran after Gilbert. Gilbert just stood there with his back to him. Matthew couldn't help it. He jumped through the air and screamed his name. "GILBERT!"

Gilbert turned around and held out his arms to catch Matthew. He landed in Gilbert's arms. Matthew buried his face into Gilbert's shoulder while Gilbert held him tightly. "_Ich liebe dich Matthew Williams._" He whispered into Matthew's ear.

Matthew smiled. "_Je t'aime Gilbert Beilschmidt_."

Gilbert's eyes lit up. "You mean it Birdie?"

Matthew rolled his eyes. "No I'm joking. I actually hate you. That's why I'm hugging you right now." Gilbert laughed and slung Matthew over his shoulder and started to carry him away. "GILBERT!" Cried Matthew. "What are you doing?"

"Keseseseseseses." Chuckled Gilbert. "Not I Birdie… _We.__We _are jigging school. _We _are going to go do something awesome. Like get ice-cream! The awesome me is going to get you some ice-cream!" Matthew was blushing like crazy but still smiled anyway.

Once again Matthew and Gilbert were in a park sitting on a hill eating ice-cream. "So does this mean were boyfriends now?" Asked Matthew sheepishly.

Gilbert smiled at Matthew. "What do you think Mattie? I'll be whatever you need me to be." He pulled Matthew into a one armed hug. "I'll be your boyfriend. Your knight. Your friend. Your angel. Your demon… Anything and everything you need Mattie." Matthew blushed.

"I want you to be Gilbert." Mumbled Matthew. A nod from Gilbert told Matthew that he heard him.

"But…" Said Gilbert slyly. "If you ever need me I'll always help you."

"And I'll help you." Said Matthew.

Gilbert wrapped his arms around Matthew's waits and whispered into Matthew's ear. "I wish we could stay like this forever."

Matthew closed his eyes. "I wish that too." He heard the sound of birds flying overhead and sighed. "They sound just like Gil-"

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

"-bird." Mumbled Matthew as he slowly opened his eyes. It was just a dream. He sighed and sat up. "Damn…" He muttered. "Stupid dreams." He looked at his bed side table told him all he needed to know. He had drunk all the maple syrup. He had a maple induced dream. A sudden tug of his hair pulled him back into reality. "MAPLE!"

"Tweet!" Cried a little yellow bird of awesomeness that was nesting in his hair.

"Gilbird?" Questioned Matthew. What was Gilbird doing in his hair? Wait a second… if Gilbird was here… then did that mean Gilbert was here too. Matthew's face went red.

"Keseseseseses. Your face is super red!" Laughed Gilbert. He was sitting on the Victorian window seat and holding Kumajiro in his arms.

Matthew screamed and jumped off of his bed landing on the floor with a thump. "How did you get in?"

Gilbert chuckled. "I knocked. Saw the door was open. Went in. Glanced in the kitchen and saw Alfred and Arthur cleaning up the kitchen. Walked into your room. Saw you passed out on the floor next to an empty maple syrup bottle. Picked you up. Put you in bed. Waited for you to wake up and now we're here."

Matthew slowly stood up. "Damn… I'm never going to be able to cook in there again. I bet they jizzed everywhere."

Gilbert gasped. "They… fucked… in the KITCHEN? That's gross… You make pancakes in there!"

Matthew sighed. "I know right? So why are you here?"

Gilbert smirked. "I wanted to do something. Want to see a movie or something?"

Matthew's jaw dropped. _'Why is he acting like nothing happened between us?' _

Gilbert tilted his head. "Did I miss something? You want to talk instead?"

"Yes!" Said Matthew. "What happened the other day? One secondyou were kissing me and saying that you love me. The next you told me to forget about it!"

Gilbert was taken aback by the sudden out burst from the usually quiet Canadian. "Calm down Matthew." Said Gilbert. "I can explain."

He walked over to Matthew. He just glared at the albino. "Do you regret it?"

Gilbert shook his head. "No!" He gasped. "Why would I regret it?"

"Because you ran away!" Exclaimed Matthew. He could feel angry tears building up and threatening to fall. "Do you hate me or something?"

Gilbert grabbed Matthew by his shoulders and slammed his back in to the nearest wall. This made Gilbird fly out of Matthew's hair and across the room. Matthew was looking into Gilbert's red orbs. "Look Matthew. I don't regret it. But it was a snap decision and I didn't want you to hate me for it."

"I don't hate you." Said Matthew. "I think I love you too."

Gilbert sighed and smiled. He pressed his forehead against Matthews. "Thank you Matthew." He whispered before kissing Matthew on the cheek. "But you really shouldn't have fallen for me."

"What?" Asked the slightly wide eyed Canadian.

"I'm too dangerous Matthew." Said Gilbert. "Remember how I went crazy a while back? I don't want to freak out like that and hurt you because of that. Then there's the Russian blood crew. I saw Katyusha the other day so they're still hanging around and I don't want them to come after you to get to me… I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if that happened."

"I don't care." Said Matthew.

Gilbert chuckled and held Matthew close. "Okay Matthew. But if we want to make this work I want you to do one thing for me okay." He looked deep into Matthew's eyes. "If I tell you to run. You run, far away until you're somewhere safe and call Ludwig. That's all I'm asking Matthew. Can you do that for me?"

Matthew was a little confused. He didn't think that Gilbert would ask him to do something that odd, but okay. "I'm good with that." He looked into Gilbert's eyes. _"Funny…_" Thought Matthew. _"I can't believe I was afraid of him before. His eyes are so beautiful." _

Matthew leaned forward and kissed Gilbert on the lips. Gilbert quickly responded and kissed back. Matthew wrapped his arms around Gilbert's neck and Gilbert held Matthew close to him. Suddenly the door to Matthew's room swung open and in walked a very pissed off looking Alfred. "GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY BROTHER!"

Gilbert quickly pulled away from Matthew. "Sorry Lover." He said. "But we'll have to continue this later. Gilbird let's go!" Gilbird quickly crashed into Gilbert's head as he side stepped Alfred.

As soon as Gilbert was gone Alfred turned to Matthew. "WHAT THE HELL?" He shouted. "YOU AND THAT THING?"

"He's not a thing!" Cried Matthew. "He's… my boyfriend."

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Gilbert was over the moon. Matthew had said that he loved him and now he could assume that they were an item. He happily walked into the house and sat down on the couch. A goofy grin was plastered on his face. Francis walked out of the kitchen and rolled his eyes. "So you two are finally going out?" He asked.

"Yep." Said Gilbert happily. "Nothing can bring me down now!"

Francis shook his head. "I give it three months before Matthew dies."

Gilbert pouted. "Not funny."

"I'm just being realistic Gilbert… and to answer your next question Antonio and Ludwig are with the Italian brothers…" Said Francis. "AND ARTHUR WAS HAVING SEX WITH ALFRED WASN'T HE?"

Gilbert rolled his eyes. "Couldn't you hear it? I bet their minds were screaming out in burning passion and lots in lusty thoughts."

Francis stuck his fingers in his ears. "I'm not hearing this!" Gilbert sighed at his flustered friend.

"Look… sorry about that… I'm sure he'll fall for you eventually."

Francis sighed. "He'll never fall for me… I'm going for a walk. By the way Matthew is coming over soon."

"Don't read his mind Francis!" Called Gilbert. Francis closed the door behind him leaving Gilbert all alone. He shrugged and waited for Matthew to turn up. "Should we make some popcorn Gilbird?" He asked the fluff ball of awesomeness. Gilbird flew into the kitchen. Gilbert chuckled and followed the bird.

He opened the cupboard and frowned. There wasn't a lot of food in there; a few popcorn bags and some flour. Gilbert made a mental note to tell Ludwig to get some more food. He put the bag in the microwave and waited. Gilbird perched on top of the microwave. Gilbert scolded the little bird. "You're going to cook yourself if you stay there for too long."

Gilbird flew off the microwave and nested in Gilbert's hair. As Gilbert waited for the popcorn to pop he let his mind wander to what Francis had just said. _'I give you three months before Matthew dies… What a bunch of bull shit. He's going to live way longer than that… Hell he can live one million years if he wants to. That would show Francis. He's just too depressed about Arthur.'_

The Gilbert sighed and put the popcorn into a bowel just as the doorbell rang. Gilbert walked towards the door with popcorn in hand. "If that isn't Matthew…" He said in a sing song voice. "I'm going to slap Francis."

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Matthew was standing at Gilbert's door. He couldn't take Alfred yelling at him anymore. _'Why does he feel like he has to protect me?'_ He hummed to himself before the door opened. There was Gilbert, holding a bowel of popcorn in one hand.

"Birdie!" He beamed. "Did you escape Alfred's evil clutches? Come in I was just about to watch a movie while thinking about an awesome plan to rescue you… I'm thinking rope ladder and an explosion."

Matthew blushed. "Why the explosion?"

"Because no plan is complete without an explosion." He claimed. "Come on in Mattie." Matthew walked inside and Gilbert closed the door. But as soon as he did there was a loud thump. Something had hit the door. Gilbert gave Matthew the popcorn and opened the door.

"Fuck… It's a dove. Silly thing flew into the door and busted its neck… I'll be back in a second." Gilbert picked up the dead bird and walked outside to put it in the bin. While he was gone Matthew realized something… It was too quiet… They were alone.

"Sweet maple…" Muttered Matthew.

Gilbert walked back inside and led Matthew to the lounge room. "What movie do you want to watch lover?"

Matthew blushed. That nickname was just too embarrassing. "I don't mind… Just as long as it's not horror okay."

Gilbert pouted. "You're no fun." He was about to walk over to the DVD rack when the phone rang. "Damn phone. Make yourself at home Mattie."

Matthew sat down and patiently waited for Gilbert to come back. He could hear Gilbert talking in the other room.

"Antonio what's up? That's all? Wait… what? BLOOD? Holy fuck… Feliciano? Okay… WHEN? I'll be there now!" He raced out of the room as fast as he could. "Sorry Birdie but I have to go to the hospital. Car crash, blood, possibly dead need to go now. You can come if you want."

Matthew quickly followed Gilbert to the car. They buckled up and drove away. Matthew was dreading what had happened. _'Has something happened to Feliciano? This is bad.'_

**TBC**

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><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>Yay togetherness but a cliff hanger… REVIEW NOW!


	15. Ludwig brakes the cycle

**Shinigami-cat: **Lots of randomness… I OWN NOTHING!

**Ludwig brakes the cycle**

_On the ground I lay  
>Motionless in pain<br>I can see my life flashing before my eyes  
>Did I fall asleep?<br>Is this all a dream  
>Wake me up, I'm living a nightmare<em>

_I will not die (I will not die)_  
><em>I will survive<em>

'_Time of dying' by Three Days Grace_

* * *

><p>Matthew quickly followed Gilbert into the hospital. Gilbert ran to the front desk. "Car crash." He said. "Few minutes ago… D.O.A?" The woman just gave him a strange look.<p>

"What are you doing here potato bastard number two?" Asked a voice.

Matthew and Gilbert turned around to see a pissed off looking Lovino. "Is Feliciano okay?" Matthew.

Lovino jumped. "Holy crap… Matthew right? Feliciano's fine. Just some stitches." Matthew tilted his head in confusion. If Feliciano was fine then why was Gilbert freaking out about it? "Feliciano! You okay?" Asked Lovino.

Feliciano walked over to Lovino. His eyes were red and puffy from crying. "I… I… The car… Ludwig… the glass… blood… They won't let me see him…"

Matthew gasped. _'It was Ludwig? What happened? Okay it was obviously a car crash but what?'_ Gilbert started to pace up and down the hall. He ran his fingers through his hair.

"Where the hell is Antonio?" He said. "He told me he would be here!"

"The tomato bastard is already with him." Said Lovino. "The doctor said that only family can see him. He's in room 222 by the way." Gilbert thanked him and dashed off to room 222 leaving Matthew with Lovino and Feliciano.

Feliciano was sobbing into Lovino's shirt. "It's my fault… If I had just watched where I was going… He wasn't breathing… His hair was red…"

Matthew's stomach turned. _'Oh man… What happened?'_

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Gilbert burst into Ludwig's room. He was surprised to see Francis there with Antonio but he was even more shocked to see Ludwig. The usually strong, powerful German just looked so… weak and fragile. He had tubes sticking out of his arms and nasty looking stitches on his forehead.

"What the hell?" Asked Gilbert. He marched over to Ludwig and suppressed the urge to punch him. "Why would you do something like that? What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't." Said Ludwig. "My body just moved on its own!"

Gilbert rolled his eyes. "Right and I'm Santa."

"He's not lying Gilbert." Said Antonio. "Let him tell you what happened."

"Fine… But hurry it up!" Snapped Gilbert.

Ludwig took a deep breath. "It all started like this…"

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

"Ve! Ludwig." Whined Feliciano as he tugged Ludwig's arm. "Let's get ice-cream! Let's get ice-cream!"

Ludwig sighed. "Okay Feli." Feliciano beamed. And started to hum a song to himself. Ludwig sighed. Today was perfect. Just like the last day… and the day before that. He could feel his heart sink. _'Just a matter of time before something happens again… This just isn't fair.'_

The sudden lack of warmth and weight on his arm made him snap out of his thoughts. Feliciano was gone. "Ve. The ice-cream place is here!" Sang Feli as he skipped across the road.

"Wait Feli!" Yelled Ludwig. "Don't you'll-" Ludwig clutched his chest. It felt like something was twisting inside his heart. He could feel sweat suddenly roll down his neck and across his back that felt like it was on fire. The sensation was there for a second but then it was gone and he felt… lighter? "Strange…" He said, but then he turned his attention back to the problem at hand. Feliciano was still walking across the street.

Ludwig gasped a black sedan was heading straight for Feliciano, who hadn't even noticed it yet. He didn't know what he was doing until he was launching himself at Feliciano. He pushed Feliciano out of the way just in time. Feliciano hit the ground with a thump. Ludwig quickly glanced to the side just in time to see the sedan's head lights.

The next few seconds were a bit of a blur for Ludwig. It was a mixture of screaming, crunching metal, cracked glass and extreme pain. Ludwig didn't really know how he ended up on his back but he did. He could hear a car speeding off into the distance. He could hear the frantic screaming of Feliciano in the background. He sighed and let his eyes roll into the back of his head. _'I knew something bad would happen… but I had no idea I would get injured like this…'_

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Gilbert face palmed. "That's stupid." He said. "You should have just let it hit him! It would have saved us being asked questions about how you managed to survive with only a few scrapes and bruises."

"But Gilbert." Said Ludwig. "I didn't-"

"Then there are going to be heaps of questions from lord knows who!" Gilbert threw his hands into the air. "This is unbelievable! How could you do something so dumb?"

"Gilbert." Snapped Francis. "Ludwig isn't faking it! His super human strength is gone! He is no longer able to survive such things! He could have died! He almost did!"

Gilbert was taken aback by Francis's outburst. He looked at Ludwig then back at Francis and Antonio. He looked back at Ludwig. "Is this true?"

Ludwig looked down at his hands. "Yes… I don't know how it happened but it did… I can't… Don't blame me for it… I didn't ask for it to happen… Don't blame me…"

Gilbert clenched his fists he was furious. "How could you." He hissed. "My own fucking brother. You stabbed me in the back. You've abandoned me."

"What?" Cried Ludwig "Abandoned you? How could you say that? Who helped you when you burned? Me. Who comforted you when you first ran into the Russian blood crew? Me. Who always makes sure that we have a roof over our heads and enough money to get by? Me. I haven't abandoned you at all!" Ludwig's face was red with anger. "I'm your brother I will never abandon you ever."

"BULL SHIT!" Screamed Gilbert. "YOU ARE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE! EVERYONE ALWAYS ENDS UP DYING AND FADING AWAY! YOU'RE GOING TO FADE AWAY AND DIE LUDWIG! YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING DIE!" By the end of his rant Gilbert was panting.

Ludwig glared at Gilbert. "You know what Gilbert?" He asked. "I may have changed but I honestly don't give a shit anymore." Gilbert, Antonio and Francis looked at Ludwig with horrified expressions.

"What did you just say?" Asked Gilbert.

"Clam down Gilbert." Said Antonio. "I'm sure Ludwig meant-"

"Don't speak for me Antonio!" Snapped Ludwig. He turned back to Gilbert. "Gilbert I'm not abandoning you. But if you are too thick to see that you can just go to hell. I've been told it's nice this time of year."

"Fuck you." Growled Gilbert. "You're just an ungrateful brat."

"Calm down." Said Antonio. "We all need to calm down. Look Gilbert Ludwig isn't abandoning anyone… It just so happens that he has somehow managed to break his curse. Ludwig, Gilbert is just upset because he probably feels that you don't deserve to have broken free."

"DAMN RIGHT!" Screamed Gilbert. "I've gone through way worse shit than he has! But what do I get? NOTHING! I still have to suffer, hell I am going to suffer. YOU DON'T FUCKING DISERVE HAPPINES!

"THEN KILL ME!" Shouted Ludwig. Everyone in the room looked at Ludwig with shocked faces. "If you really hate me that much then just do it."

Gilbert sighed and shook his head. "Shit Ludwig… You know I could never do that… Even if you are… aren't like us anymore… Shit I'm sorry."

Ludwig rolled his eyes. "Fine apology accepted. Just don't let that happen again."

"So… what's the damage?" Asked Gilbert.

"Three cracked ribs," Said Francis. "hair line fractures in his shins and left wrist."

"Fun…" Said Ludwig sarcastically.

Gilbert looked out the window. "So… you're free? How does it feel?"

"Different." Sighed Ludwig. "It's just a weird feeling. I mean I still feel like I always have but now I feel different…"

Gilbert frowned. "How long are you going to be in here for?"

"How long does it usually take for a hair line fracture to heal?"

"He's going be here for a while." Said Francis. "We should probably go now." Ludwig waved goodbye and everyone walked out.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Matthew was sitting in the waiting room with Lovino and Feliciano. Feli was still crying and saying how everything was all his fault. Lovino was patting his brother on the back and saying that he should just be happy that he just got a few stitches. Suddenly Antonio, Francis and Gilbert appeared. They all seemed a little depressed, but that was to be expected. There was an unsettling silence.

Francis coughed. "Ludwig is fine. Just a few broken bones and stitches. He's fine."

Feliciano burst into tears again. "All… all… my fault! He… wouldn't have gotten… hurt if it wasn't… if it wasn't for me!"

Antonio went to Feliciano's side and hugged him. "It's okay. Didn't you hear? Ludwig is fine. He isn't even mad at you! He's just happy that your fine."

Gilbert sighed. "I just wish the doctors removed the stick from his ass."

"Ludwig has a stick in his ass?" Asked a wide eyed Feliciano. Gilbert face palmed.

"Never mind…" He turned his attention to Matthew. "Well since Luddy isn't going to die wanna go get ice-cream or something?"

"Um… I guess…" Said Matthew. He wasn't really sure, but he couldn't back out now. Not when Gilbert was dragging him out to the car park.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

A black sedan pulled up in front of a house close to a national park. There was blood on the hood and the windows and lights were smashed. The driver honked the horn a couple of times until someone opened the door. It was a young boy with dirty blond hair opened the door and gasped at the sight. He quickly ran inside and dragged out another boy. He was older then the blond and had shoulder length brown hair.

They both cautiously approached the car. When they were about a meter away the driver stepped out of the car and brushed the glass off her dress. The blond trembled. "Have a nice drive Natalia?" He asked.

Natalia rolled her eyes. "Get Eduard to fix this Raivis." She instructed the blond. He nodded and went inside to find Eduard. When he was inside Natalia turned to the brunet. "Want to hear something weird Toris?" She asked.

"Weird how?" Asked Toris.

"You know how I was meant to hit that peppy Italian today?"

"Oh how did it go?"

Natalia glared at Toris. "It didn't. Ludwig pushed him out of the way and I ended up running into him instead." Toris's jaw dropped. "But you know what the weirdest thing was? Just before he pushed him he changed…"

"Changed?" Asked Toris.

"I don't know how to describe it… He just seemed to change. He looks more like everyone else now. I should report this to big brother." A creepy smile twisted her face. "He will be so pleased with me we will become one. Then we can get married. Married. Married. Married. Married. Married. Married. Married. Married. Married. Married. Married. Married. Married. Married. Married. Married. Married. Married. Married. Married." She walked into the house as she chanted that under her breath.

Toris sighed and looked at the car. "This is not good." He muttered. "This is not good at all."

**TBC**

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><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>REVIEW!


	16. Rainy nights and V shaped scars

**Shinigami-cat:** Well… I hope that this chapter clears something's up… If not the next one will… I OWN NOTHING!

**Rainy nights and V shaped scars**

_And the rain falls down, let it fall to the ground.  
>And the birds don't sing, no they don't make a sound.<br>So I look to the sky, tell me why, tell me why,  
>Do they all get to live, and I have to die?<em>

_And the angels sing: let it shine, let it shine,_  
><em>Dry the teardrops from my eyes.<em>  
><em>And the bells will ring when the blind lead the blind,<em>  
><em>'Cause the dead can't testify.<em>  
><em>And because I can't take an eye for an eye,<em>  
><em>In the afterlife I'll haunt you 'till you die<em>!

'_The dead can't testify' by Billy Talent_

* * *

><p>Matthew was sitting alone at home on his bed reading a book. It had been about a week since Ludwig was able to go home from the hospital. He couldn't help but notice that Feliciano and Ludwig had pretty much become inseparable. It was sweet really. Matthew assumed that they became like that because they realized that they won't live forever.<p>

He looked at the clock and frowned. _'Gilbert should be here by now.'_ He thought. And as if on cue Gilbert walked into his room. He had his usual cocky smile on his face. He walked over and casually planted a kiss on Matthew's forehead.

"One month." He sang. "One month anniversary."

Matthew looked up at him and frowned. "That was last month."

"Did I say one month?" Asked Gilbert. "I meant two month anniversary." He beamed proudly. Matthew rolled his eyes. Gilbert was such an idiot sometimes. "And for our two month anniversary we are going out to dinner. You can't say no because I already organized it."

"Where are we going?" Asked Matthew.

Gilbert shook his head. "No way! It would be so unawesome if you found out. Just wear something semi-casual and we'll leave at seven."

"… Why do I have a really bad feeling about this." Mumbled Matthew.

"Because you over think things Birdie." Said Gilbert. "Tonight is going to be pure awesomeness! Just wait and see."

Matthew rolled his eyes. "Sure Gilbert… sure…"

Gilbert pouted. "Well… on a lighter note, what did you get me?"

Matthew put his hands in his pockets and pulled out a key chain. It had a little silver chick on it with sapphire eyes. "I thought it suited you."

Gilbert beamed. "I love it Birdie." He put it in his pocket and sat next to Matthew. "So..."what are you reading?" Matthew shrugged.

"Just one of Alfred's comics."

"Which one?" Asked Gilbert. "Superman, Batman or Spiderman?"

"It's called The Spector." Said Matthew. He handed it to Gilbert who just frowned at it.

"A guy in green underwear, with green boots and a green hooded cape… How gay can you get? What's it about?"

Matthew shrugged. "As far as I can tell it's about a guy who can't die. He was chosen by god to avenge the spirits of those who were murdered. It's pretty cool." Gilbert flipped through the comic and shrugged.

"Whatever… Oh cool! He just turned some guy into a block of wood and put him through a saw mill thing! Can I borrow this?"

"Don't think so." Said Matthew. "Unless you are suddenly related to Alfred."

Gilbert rolled his eyes. "If I was related to Alfred, that means I would be related to you, which means what we have here is incest and that would be gross."

Matthew rolled his eyes and push Gilbert. "That's gross Gilbert."

"That's what I just said." Said Gilbert.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

So at seven Matthew ended up in Gilbert's car driving to some unknown location. An ACDC song was playing while Gilbert was singing. "_Some like it hot. Some like it quite not so hot. But I like a touch. And I want it so much._"

Matthew couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable with the lyrics. "Um… Gilbert can you change the song?"

Gilbert shrugged and changed the song. "_Dirty deeds and there done dirt cheap, dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap._"

Matthew beat his head against the dash board. _'Please don't let this be an indication about what's going to happen tonight.'_ He thought.

Gilbert laughed. "You're going really red Matthew. Relax I'll change the CD. Three Days Grace is good." Gilbert quickly slipped it in and the first song began to play.

"_Pain, without love. Pain, I can't get enough. Pain, I like it rough. 'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_" Gilbert laughed his head off when Matthew buried his face in his hands.

"Relax Mattie." Said Gilbert. "You freak out too easily. We're almost there anyway." Matthew looked out the window and frowned. They were in the middle of nowhere. Maybe some kind of forest? Wait… What the hell? Why were they in a forest? Gilbert pulled over to the side of the road and got out. "We're here Mattie!"

Gilbert got out of the car and opened the boot. Matthew got out of the car as well and got a picnic blanket thrown at him. He looked at the blanket then back at Gilbert who was holding a picnic basket. "A picnic?" Questioned Matthew.

Gilbert nodded. "Yep. Everything has been planned out so there." He grabbed Matthew's hand and pulled him into the forest. The walked for five minutes before the got to a clearing that over looked the town.

"Wow Gilbert… This is just…"

"Amazing?" Asked Gilbert. "Wonderful? Fantastic? Awesome? All those other synonyms?" He took the picnic blank out of Matthew's hands and spread it out on the ground.

"I was going to say romantic." Said Matthew. "But I guess awesome will do."

"Damn right it will." Said Gilbert as he pulled Matthew on to the blanket. "Now what do you want to eat? Francis helped me make a whole bunch of stuff… I'm pretty sure we made cresaunts I think… Either way there's heaps of food."

Matthew smiled and sighed. _'He's crazy.'_ He thought. _'He's completely insane and unpredictable, but he's so romantic and I… I love him for it.'_

They hadn't even gotten through half of the food before they were gazing at the stars. "How is life?" Asked Gilbert.

Matthew sighed. "Alfred is still acting like a love sick puppy."

"Don't you hate it when people that are in love do that?" Asked Gilbert.

Matthew blushed. "Well… I guess… um…"

Gilbert laughed. "It's fine Birdie. I was just joking. Sure I'm a little pissed that Alfred and Arthur are together… mainly because Francis won't stop moping around the house because of it. But acting like a love sick puppy is good sometimes."

Matthew smiled. "I guess so… Maybe we should head back. I don't like the look of those clouds."

"Fine." Said Gilbert. "But I'm going to hate it if it starts raining on us." Gilbert helped Matthew to his feet and they headed back to the car. They were on the highway in less than ten minutes. After five minutes the rain began to pour down creating a thick sheet of rain that was almost impossible to see through. Three minutes later they passed a sleazy looking motel. Six minutes later disaster struck.

The car rolled to a stop and Gilbert groaned. "You have got to be kidding me!" He cried.

"What's wrong?" Asked Matthew.

Gilbert looked at Matthew and blushed a little. "Out of petrol…"

Matthew sighed and took out his phone. No service. He hit his head against the back of the seat. "Well what do we do now?"

Gilbert thought about this for a moment then his eyes lit up. "The motel!" He cried. "We can go there, spend the night and I can get the car towed in the morning!"

Matthew looked outside and frowned. "In this rain?"

"Yep." Gilbert got out of the car. "I'll race you if I have too!"

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

By the time they got back to the sleazy hotel they were both completely soaked. Gilbert shook the water out of his hair and went over to the front desk, where a man with long blond hair was reading a Cleo magazine. The man looked up at Gilbert and Matthew and laughed.

"You two are like totally soaked." He said. "Did you two like walk here?"

Gilbert rolled his eyes. "We did. So you have any rooms free?"

"Like totally." Said the man. He put down his magazine and looked through another book. "Like room 27 is free. Cash or credit?"

Gilbert handed him a couple of bills. "We'll be staying for the night. Do you have a phone?"

"There's like one over there." He pointed to a small pay phone over the other side of the lobby. "Like it only takes quarters and stuff."

Gilbert sighed and took the keys from the man. "I'll use it later. Come on Matthew." Matthew quickly followed Gilbert and looked back to see the man go back to his magazine.

When they got to their room Gilbert turned on the heater. Matthew on the other hand pulled off his soaked hoodie and let it fall to the floor. It made a weird squishy noise. Gilbert turned around and frowned. "You should take a shower." He said. "I'll look for some towels."

After about a minute of searching Gilbert had found two fluffy white towels. "But what am I going to do with my clothes?" Asked Matthew.

Gilbert laughed. "You're too cute for cloths Mattie." Matthew's face went bright red.

"Well… I… um… Gilbert… We shouldn't… I mean…" He stuttered. Gilbert rolled his eyes and pushed Matthew into the bathroom.

"I was joking. Have a shower already. I'm going to call Ludwig and tell him we'll be home tomorrow." He closed the door and left Matthew alone.

Matthew quickly turned around and locked the door. He trusted Gilbert and everything… but he didn't want to get jumped in the shower. So after he locked it he quickly stripped himself of his wet clothing and stepped into the shower.

The warm water quickly covered his skin. He felt like he was melting. _'Today was pretty good, minus the rain and the car running out of petrol… and staying in a motel with Gilbert for the night… On our two month anniversary… we haven't had sex yet… oh shit…'_ He went bright red. _'OMFG! We're going to do it aren't we? What am I going to do? What am I going to do?' _He contemplated staying in the shower for the rest of his life but that wouldn't work.

He sighed and got out. He quickly dried himself off and because he was still soaking wet he just wrapped the towel around his waist and opened the door. He was surprised to see that all the lights were out. The light from the bathroom stretched out into the room and fell onto Gilbert.

It lit up his naked back and made his pail skin glow. The sight made him weak in the knees. But what made him really flip was the fact that Gilbert was only wearing a towel too. Matthew ran his eyes over Gilbert's back again and froze. On his back was a dark purple V shaped scar. It was amazing and horrifying at the same time. Before he knew it he was standing right behind Gilbert.

He reached out to touch it. His fingers ghosted over it when suddenly Gilbert looked over his shoulder. He had a look of shock on his face. "Matthew. What are you doing?"

Matthew quickly looked up at Gilbert and froze. "I… um… well… you see… I…"

Gilbert suddenly moved back making Matthew's finger tips graze his scar. Suddenly Matthew felt light headed and stumbled backwards. Gilbert held him close to keep him from falling. "Shit Matthew are you okay? Shit stay awake." Matthew coughed a couple of times and his eyes rolled into the back of his head. His body began to convulse violently.

Gilbert began to panic. "Shit. Shit. Shit. Fucking shit. This can't be happening. Shit. Not now! Shit! Matthew stay awake! Shit!" Gilbert held Matthew's shivering body close to him and shut his eyes tight. "Please don't let him die. Please not now. Please let him live. Please! I'm begging you here! Don't let him die!"

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Matthew sighed. He hadn't seen his lover in weeks, but he couldn't complain. No he never could. His lover had to work far away in the city to make ends meet. So he just had to go back to making pancakes. The sudden tapping at the window temporarily drew his attention away from his cooking. There at the window was Gilbird.

Matthew beamed and opened the window to let the little bird in. It made a bee line for his hair and made a nest as quickly as possible. He patted the little bird and went back to finishing the pancakes because he knew if Gilbird was here his lover wouldn't be far behind.

The door flew open and in walked Gilbert. He wrapped his arms around Matthew's waist. "Miss me much Birdie?" He asked as he peppered Matthew's neck with kisses.

Matthew went red. "Yes… How are you?"

"Crazy in love with you."

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

The colours swirled around and around, mixing with the music, laughter and the smells of the masquerade ball. Matthew quickly exited the hall and onto the baloney and breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't really like going to these sought of things. He would rather have stayed at home and read a book.

He took off his resent moon shaped mask and sighed. Matthew thought he would be here tonight. He said he would come, but once again he had been taken for a ride. He was used to it but it still hurt. A white rose was suddenly pushed into his face. Matthew turned to see a man in a yellow bird mask.

"Sorry for being late Birdie." Said the man in the mask. "A pretty little rose for a pretty little bird?"

Matthew blushed. "You're the one that looks like a bird Gilbert."

Gilbert shrugged. "I guess so. So what's shaking in Paris?"

Matthew shrugged. "Nothing much I guess… I'm glad you came tonight."

"Why wouldn't I come?" Asked Gilbert. "I thought I promised you I would come?"

"Well… I'm used to people forgetting about me."

Gilbert pulled Matthew close to him and whispered into his ear. "I will never forget about you Birdie."

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Matthew was running through a maze with Gilbert hot on his heels. "I'm going to get you Birdie!" He called.

Matthew laughed. "Right. The day when America falls into the hands of England is the day when you catch me!" He turned a corner and ended up in the middle of the maze. Matthew stopped for a second to catch his breath, but when he did Gilbert tackled him to the ground.

"Got you!" Grinned Gilbert. "You owe me a kiss!"

Matthew rolled his eyes. "Fine Gilbert." Gilbert leaned down and kissed Matthew on the forehead. "Was that all?" Asked Matthew.

Gilbert grinned. "So impatient. Just wait until tonight. After all it's out two month anniversary today."

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Matthew's eyes slowly opened. His body felt really heavy and cold, but he was being pressed against something warm. His eyes slowly adjusted to the dark. He was back in that crappy motel room. _'What just happened? One second I'm here and the next I'm… somewhere.'_

"… Don't die." He heard a voice say. "Please don't die. Please… Matthew, don't die."

Gilbert? Was Gilbert holding him? Wait a second… weren't they just wearing towels and nothing else? Shit! Matthew blushed and pushed away from Gilbert, but as soon as he moved Gilbert held him tighter. "You're alive! Thank got Birdie! I thought you were dead!"

"Why would I be dead?" Asked Matthew.

Gilbert froze. "… No reason… I guess… Let's go to bed." Matthew shook his head.

"No what did you mean?" He asked. "Why did you think that I was dead? What aren't you telling me?"

Gilbert held his hands up defensively. "Nothing!"

"Don't lie." Snapped Matthew. "What's with that scar on your back anyway?"

Gilbert stood up and sighed. "I can't tell you that Matthew… It just isn't possible."

"Why not?" Asked Matthew as he stood up. "Why won't you tell me? Afraid I might die? Just because I fainted doesn't mean I'll die like that. What's wrong with you?"

Gilbert grabbed Matthew's shoulders and pinned him onto the bed. "YES!" He shouted. "I'M AFRAID YOU MIGHT DIE! I'VE BEEN TERRIFIED ABOUT THAT EVER SINCE I FIRST MET YOU! I'M AFRAID THAT IF I LOOK AWAY FOR JUST ONE SECOND YOU'LL FALL TO PIECES AND SHATTER!" He let go of Matthew and sighed. "As for what's wrong with me… do you really want to know?"

Matthew sat up and nodded weakly. "Yes."

Gilbert sighed and sat next to him. "Okay… I'll tell you… But I'm just going to say this once… I'm not crazy, or insane in any way, shape or form… well I am but that's not the point." Gilbert took a deep breath. "It all started with four awesome but very stupid Guardians in training…"

**TBC**

* * *

><p><strong>Shinigami-cat:<strong> In answer to Matthew's question earlier on… YOU TAKE IT LIKE THE UKE YOU ARE AND YOU ENJOY IT! … please review…


	17. The past reviled

**Shinigami-cat:** And now for some answers damn it all of this is a flash back… I OWN NOITHNG!

**The past reviled**

_Now I will tell you what I've done for you  
>Fifty thousand tears I've cried<br>Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you  
>And you still won't hear me, going under<em>

_Don't want your hand this time, I'll save myself_  
><em>Maybe I'll wake up for once<em>  
><em>Not tormented daily, defeated by you<em>  
><em>Just when I thought, I reached the bottom<em>

'_Going under' by Evanescence_

* * *

><p>"So what do you think?" Asked Francis. "If we do this we'll hardly do any work at all! It's perfect."<p>

"I was already applying for the job." Said Antonio.

"I don't wanna work." Said Gilbert. "It seems like too much… work." Francis rolled his eyes at his albino friend.

"That's the point." He said. "Besides isn't Ludwig going to apply too? Wouldn't it be wonderful? All three of us becoming Guardians? Working together side by side. Helping those in need and-"

"You just want to bang some random chick don't you?" Grumbled Gilbert.

Francis gasped. "How could you say such a thing?"

"You've tried this before Francis." Groaned Gilbert. "I'm perfectly fine with just being an archangel thank you. I get weekends off and every other Thursday." Just to illustrate his point he quickly flicked out his large swan like wings.

Francis smirked. "But when you're a Guardian, you only work for the life span of your human then you sit around and wait until you're assigned a new human."

"How long does that take?" Asked Gilbert.

Antonio yawned. "It all depends… but usually you get a century or two off before the next one."

Well that was it. Gilbert whole heartedly agreed to become a Guardian with Antonio and Francis because well… he's lazy as hell. It was easy to apply but they had to take a test before they could become full Guardians. That was how Gilbert found himself in the basement of the central Library with Francis, Antonio and Ludwig looking for a human.

They were using a locator orb. It basically looked just like globe of the world except it was about as big as a house and you could zoom in on country's and people… kind of like Google maps. "This is stupid." Whined Gilbert. "Why do we have to do this?"

"It's to show we can be Guardians and look after a human and not be lazy." Said Ludwig as he spun the orb around. This caused Antonio to fall off because he decided to sit on top of the orb.

"Have a look at this country." Said Francis. "It's shaped like a boot." Francis enlarged the country to show them. Gilbert frowned.

"Its funny shape isn't it?" He looked at Ludwig. "You going to pick someone from here?"

Ludwig shrugged and zoomed in on a small town. After looking around for a bit he zoomed in a bit more on a small urban haired boy sitting on a stone wall happily saying the phrase "Ve." Over and over again.

"He's cute." Said Gilbert. "Stupid, probably ADHD, simple minded and will probably get killed in a heartbeat… Who wants this kid?"

Francis. "I'll take him!"

"Too late." Said Ludwig. He quickly scribbled down his name on a piece of paper. "Feliciano Vargas is mine."

"Possessive!" Cried Gilbert. "Who's next?"

Antonio suddenly squealed. "Look over here! I'm going to look after that one!"

He pointed to someone that looked exactly like Feliciano but he had dark brown hair and a scowl on his face.

"Twins!" Exclaimed Francis. "They're twins!"

Antonio grinned. "Lovino Vargas. He looks so cute don't you think?"

Gilbert shrugged, zoomed out and spun the orb around again until it stopped spinning. It stopped and Gilbert clicked on a random country and zoomed in. It was an English village. Francis hummed and suddenly gasped. "There! The guy with the huge eyebrows!"

He was walking out of his house. He looked rather sad. Maybe Francis was being sympathetic?

"Never picked you for being the sympathetic type." Said Antonio.

Francis shrugged. "He just seems like he is in need of love… or help… or something… Arthur Kirkland… Nice name…"

Gilbert rolled his eyes and zoomed out again. "I don't give a shit who I end up helping. Just choose a country already!"

Francis shrugged and chose the country of France (Because it sounded like his name). "Have a look around Gil." He said.

Gilbert sighed and had a quick look through the country. Nothing seemed to catch his eye. He was about to give up when noticed a boy (Couldn't have been any older than about seven) trip over in the street and no one helped him up. The boy quickly got to his feet, brushed off his dirty (and now slightly tattered) pants and tried to get to the side of the path so no one bumped into him.

Gilbert frowned. "That's so not cool. A kid shouldn't be pushed around like that."

"So you've found someone?" Asked Ludwig.

"Damn right!" Said Gilbert. "And get ready to be guarded by the most awesome archangel ever Matthew Williams!"

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Gilbert was fucking freezing. _'Why is it so fucking cold here? Stupid weather!'_ If you haven't guessed Gilbert was on earth… Well France more like it, and he was a crow… Yes he had taken on the form of a crow to keep track of Matthew. It's funny really… He chose a symbol of death to keep an eye on Matthew.

Day in and day out Gilbert would follow Matthew as he went about his day. Early in the morning he had a tutor until early afternoon and for the rest of the day he would stay in his room… Matthew was surprisingly wealthy… but then again he did live in a fucking huge house.

While Gilbert was in his crow form he decided to take a couple of mental notes about Matthew. _'This kid is really lonely… I mean seriously. He has no friends. He never goes outside… That's just sad… Wonder what I could do to help him out…'_ A smirk stretched across his face (well technically it was a beak). He would put his plan into action tomorrow.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

"It's good to see that you've arrived safely Mr Bilesmit?" Asked the blond haired gentleman.

"Beilschmidt Mr Williams. Gilbert Beilschmidt." Gilbert said with a smile on his face. His plan was simple; become Matthew's language tutor, teach him some awesome German, befriend him and hey presto Gilbert becomes a Guardian in a few short years because let's face it life expectancy was really low. Matthew would be lucky to reach sixty five.

Mr Williams cleared his throat. "Of course. Sorry. As you are aware I've hired you to tutor my son Matthew."

Gilbert nodded. "_Ja_ teach him how to speak German. Where might he be right now? I would like to get started straight away."

Mr Williams smiled. "I like your attitude Sir. If you would follow me I'll take you to my son." He led Gilbert up a flight of stairs and to door. More than likely it was the door to Matthew's room. He knocked on the door. "Matthew, I'm coming in."

Mr Williams opened the door and Gilbert peaked inside. Matthew was sitting on his bed reading a book, his curly blond hair rolled over his shoulders and round glasses perfectly framed his lavender eyes. "Yes Papa?" He asked.

Matthew's eyes locked with Gilbert's eyes for the first time. Gilbert felt his throat go dry and his hands became sweaty. _'Get a hold of yourself Gilbert. It's not like you haven't seen this guy before.'_

"This is Mr Beilschmidt." Said Mr Williams. "He will be your German teacher from now on. Treat him with respect or I'll hear about it." He turned to Gilbert. "I'll leave you too it."

Gilbert nodded and waited for Mr Williams to close the door. When he was gone he turned to Matthew and flashed his best smile. Matthew smiled nervously back at him. Gilbert sat next to Matthew and sighed. "So Matthew… Do you actually want to learn German?"

Matthew looked away from him and nervously played with the hem of his shirt. "I… um…"

Gilbert smirked. "Are you scared because I'm albino?" He noticed Matthew shift uncomfortably. "It's okay Mattie. Heaps of kids hate me because of how I look. Hell I can't even count the number of people that have accused me of being a demon."

"That's horrible." Said Matthew.

Gilbert chuckled. "It's not so bad… so let's start with the easy stuff. I'll teach you how to greet people and stuff."

Matthew looked up at Gilbert and nodded. "Okay."

'_Too freaking cute!'_

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Time passes quickly in the human world what seems like a second to an angel can be ten years to a human. Gilbert watched Matthew grow into a charming young man and as Matthew grew so did Gilbert's feelings for him. He knew it was wrong to think about Matthew the way he did. But he just assumed that since Matthew was the first human he had ever looked after he would naturally feel a little attached to the blond.

At the moment he was filling in a report back in the basement of the central library with Antonio and Francis. Antonio seemed a little depressed. The Spaniard lifted his head. "I got a question for you." He said. "Is it wrong to… like your human? I mean really like your human?"

"Depends." Said Francis. "But I don't think we are allowed to fall in love with humans."

Antonio's eyes seemed to dull. "Oh… okay…"

"But I know where you're coming from." Said Francis. "Arthur is such a sweet young man… a little rude every now and then but still very nice… and he lives with such a horrible wife! I mean she is a total bitch!" He crossed his arms and pouted. "I just want to take him away from that place and that woman… but I'm not sure if I can… How is Matthew going?"

Gilbert shrugged. "Matthew is good. He's speaking fluent German now… so it's a real bitch when I swear now because he knows exactly what I'm saying. But He's turned out to be really nice. I hope he has a long life."

Antonio frowned. "I don't think that's going to happen." He zoomed in on Matthew and pointed to a red hour glass that was hovering over his head. "He's got a week left."

"WHAT?" Cried Gilbert. "When did that get there? That's wrong! It has to be! I'm going to put a stop this!" He quickly marched out of the room but Francis grabbed hold of his arm.

"You know you can't do that." He said. "Guardians are only allowed to save humans from an untimely death. We can't do anything if they are already marked." He rested his hand on Gilbert's shoulder. "I'm sorry Gilbert… but Matthew is going to die."

Gilbert shook Francis's hand off and stormed out. He knew it was true. Once someone had been marked it was impossible to save them… unless he was saved by divine intervention… But that could come at a price… Was Matthew really worth the price he might have to pay?

He bit his lip. He needed to talk to someone about it. Someone he trusted… Ludwig. But Ludwig was watching over Feliciano at the moment… Well Gilbert did always want to visit Italy.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

"… and I have no idea what to do West!" Cried Gilbert. He had just finished his little rant to Ludwig. Both of them were in the form of cats (Ludwig was a grey kitten and Gilbert was the albino one).

"I'm not sure what you want me to do about it." Said Ludwig. "Couldn't you have asked me later? I'm working at the moment."

Gilbert looked over to Feliciano who was happily drawing under the shade of a tree. "Must be really tough." Hissed Gilbert sarcastically. "Now help me out already!"

Ludwig sighed. "Fine… You've become his teacher right?"

"Yep."

"Then why don't you let him have the best week of his life?" Asked Ludwig. "Take him to all the places that he likes and just toss in something like… make him name certain thing in German. That way it will seem like a practical lesson and not something else."

Gilbert grinned like a Cheshire cat. "You're the best brother ever!" He tried to hug Ludwig but ended up pushing him over instead (Being a cat has its disadvantages).

"Get off me Gilbert!" Hissed Ludwig.

"Ve? Did you make a fried _Polveroso_?" Asked Feliciano as he kneeled down next to them.

Gilbert looked at Ludwig in disbelief. "Dusty?" He asked. "Did he just call you dusty? You're a freaking pet! You're his pet!" Gilbert started laughing. But because he was a cat everything he said sounded like meows, purrs and all other kind of cat noises.

"Shut up." Snapped Ludwig. "It's better than what Lovino called Antonio!"

"What did he call him?"

"_Gatto-bastardo._"

Gilbert laughed harder. "Cat-bastard? He called Antonio Cat-bastard? Too funny! Too fucking funny!"

Feliciano picked up Ludwig and patted his soft grey fur. "Ve… I wish I knew what you were saying. You know what _Polveroso_? I wish you were human… then we could talk and play with each other all day! I mean we already do that now but I want to know what you're thinking about."

Gilbert could have sworn that Ludwig was blushing but chose to take his leave instead. "See you later Ludwig. Have fun with Feliciano!"

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

"Eh? We're going where?"

"To the park." Said Gilbert. "I've decided that since you've been so awesome with your studies over the past few years that we will go to different places all around the city and put what you've learnt into practice."

He opened the door and waited for Matthew to follow him. Matthew beamed and happily walked out the door. _'How old are you now Matthew? Sixteen? Seventeen? That's too young… Too young for someone as beautiful as you to die… How could it happen? It just isn't fair…'_

"Are you coming?" Asked Matthew. He eyes were shining so brightly and his smile just seemed to melt Gilbert into nothing. But the red hour glass above his head just reminded him of what was to come.

"Say it in German." He said.

Matthew giggled. "_Kommst du?_"

"_Ja._" Replied Gilbert. _'He's just so full of life… He can't die of natural causes… Oh no… please don't tell me he is going to be murdered! No, I shouldn't be thinking about this. I can't… I just… need to focus on making Matthew's last week happy.'_

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Matthew's week was almost up. They had visited every one of Matthew's favourite places and as far as Gilbert knew Matthew was having the time of his life. But on Matthew's last day he asked Gilbert a strange question.

"Gilbert… do you like me?"

Gilbert quirked an eyebrow. "Of course I do Matthew. If I didn't I would have demanded your dad pay me more to tutor you."

Matthew sighed and looked at his feet. "Oh… Okay then…"

"Why do you ask?"

Matthew blushed. "Well… I mean… I've pretty much known you my whole life… and… I… you… I mean you've taken me to all these places and…_ je t'aime._"

Gilbert blinked a couple of times. Did he just hear Matthew correctly? Did he just say that he loved him? He did. Gilbert's mind was racing. Did he really love Matthew too? Could he even deny Matthew his love considering Matthew had less than a day to live?

He grabbed Matthew's chin and looked deep into his lavender eyes. They were full of terror, anticipation and love. "No." Said Gilbert. "Say it in German. Like I taught you."

Matthew's blush darkened. "_Ich liebe dich _Gilbert."

Gilbert could feel his face go a little pink. "_Ich liebe dich auch mine kleiner Piepmatz._" He kissed Matthew softly on the lips. _'Screw the consequences. Screw the rules. I love Matthew and I'm not going to let him die.'_

Gilbert pulled back and fought back the urge to laugh. Matthew's face was bright red. He was just too cute. "Gilbert… I… I…"

Gilbert chuckled. Matthew was just too cute when he stuttered like that. He put a finger on Matthew's lips. "You don't have to say anything Birdie. What do you want to do now?"

Matthew looked away and shuffled his feet. "Can we go to the park again?" He asked. Gilbert couldn't refuse him anything. They went to the park again and watched the sun set. It was perfect… but all good things must come to an end and Gilbert knew Matthew's time would be up in a matter of minutes.

Gilbert walked him back home through the dark streets of Paris. They held each other's hands and stayed close to each other. Gilbert never wanted to be away from Matthew again. Gilbert glanced at the hour glass above Matthew's head. Only one minute remaining. He looked back down at his feet. This was just too much for him.

Suddenly Matthew was pulled away from him and into an ally. Quick as a flash Gilbert was right there after him. But it was too late… Matthew had a knife in his heart and his killer was standing over him. Rage filled Gilbert and he lunged at the man. Once he had knocked the man to the ground Gilbert quickly looked around for a weapon… He saw a lead pipe…

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

There are three rules every Guardian angel must follow;

1) A Guardian cannot extend the life of a human beyond their natural life span. They can only save them from untimely deaths that can and are preventable.

2) A Guardian cannot under any circumstances kill a human. It doesn't matter who they are or what they have done.

3) A Guardian cannot fall in love with a human under any circumstances.

Braking any one of these rules can and will result in harsh and extreme punishment.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

The pipe continued to hit its mark breaking the man's skull over and over again. Death just seemed too good for this monster that dared to touch his little Birdie… Matthew.

Gilbert dropped the blood stained pipe and walked over to Matthew. The life was almost completely gone from his eyes. His breathing was shallow and short. Blood oozed out around the knife. Gilbert pulled the knife out of his chest and put his hand on the wound. "I love you Matthew." He whispered. "And no matter what happens to me… I just want you to live. Live and be happy."

The wound slowly healed and Matthew's breathing evened out. Gilbert chuckled a little when Matthew fell asleep in his arms. _'I guess getting stabbed dose that to a person.' _He waved his hand over Matthew's bloodied shirt and the blood evaporated. He lifted Matthew up and unfurled his wings. As long as no one saw him, it was fine.

Gilbert opened up Matthew's bed room window and walked inside. He placed Matthew on his bed and sighed. Matthew looked like a beautiful angel. Gilbert kissed Matthew's lips and smiled. "I love you Matthew… I don't know what's going to happen to me now… but I'll never regret what I've done for you." He walked back to the window and looked back at Matthew one last time. "I love you Birdie."

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Gilbert was happily sitting in the basement of the central library. He was watching over Matthew as he slept. He was just so peaceful, but Gilbert's gazing was suddenly cut short when a brunet angel walked in on him. She was carrying a frying pan in her hand.

"You really shouldn't have done that Gilbert." She said.

Gilbert looked at her. "Long time no see Elizaveta. So I'm in trouble now?"

Elizaveta nodded. "Well come on. I have to take you to your cell."

Gilbert nodded. He knew he was going to get in trouble for what he did. He had willingly broke the rules. Now he was going to face his punishment. He was led to a cell and was surprised to see Antonio, Francis and Ludwig in there too.

"Not you too." Said Francis.

"What do you mean?" Asked Gilbert.

Ludwig sighed. "Which rule did you break?"

"All three." Said Gilbert with a frown. "What about you guys?"

Antonio laughed weakly. "A mafia hit man was going to kill Lovino so I…"

"There were two of them." Said Ludwig. "I killed the other. If I hadn't Feliciano would have died."

Francis bit his bottom lip. "Arthur left his wife for me… I didn't even realise he was going to do that… He just did… I stole his heart."

Gilbert leaned against the wall of their cell. "So… to sum it up… we're all screwed."

The door of the cell opened and Elizaveta looked inside. "It's time you guys."

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

The trial was quick and over in a matter of minutes but the punishment was just unbelievable. Roderich was acting judge for this trial. "Weighing up the evidence I have no chose but to give you the most severe punishment we have." Roderich looked at Antonio. "For what you have done you shall be cast out of heaven, your wings torn from your body and you will meet Lovino every twenty years, and when you two are at your happiest Lovino will die alone."

"NO!" Cried Antonio. "Not Lovino! You can't do that!"

Roderich ignored Antonio and looked at Francis. "You will be cast out of heaven, your wings ripped from your body and every twenty years you will meet Arthur and he will reject you for another. No matter what you do. Arthur will always die with his new lover."

Francis clenched his fists and looked down at the floor. "Murderer." He muttered.

Roderich looked at Ludwig. "You will be cast out of heaven, your wings torn from your body and every twenty years you will meet Feliciano and you will watch him die horribly."

Ludwig clutched his fists so tightly his knuckles went white and he started to bleed. "This can't be happening…"

Roderich finally looked at Gilbert. "Gilbert." He said. "Never has any one Guardian broken every rule so quickly and simultaneously. For your punishment you will be cast out of heaven, your wings torn from your body and every twenty years you will meet Matthew… and murder him mercilessly."

Gilbert's eyes went wide. Did he just hear Roderich correctly? He was going to have to kill Matthew? "FUCK YOU!" He screamed. "THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY IN HELL I'D EVER DO THAT TO HIM! I'M NOT GOING TO KILL MATTHEW!"

Roderich just shook his head. "All these punishments will happen indefinitely until such time as you have served your time. There is no point in resisting Gilbert… Now how wants to go first?" Roderich pointed to a marble staircase that led to nowhere.

At the top were two crystal chains with ugly hooks on the end and at the bottom was a hole. The idea was that the chains and hooks would dig in and wrap around your wings then you would jump. This would tear off your wings and send you plummeting into the human world as a Fallen angel.

Gilbert sighed. "I'll go first." Gilbert walked up the stairs until he reached the top. He looked down into the hole and gulped. He never thought that this would happen to him. Not in a million years. He could feel the chains snake around his wings and the hooks dig into his shoulder blades.

"Any last words?" Asked Roderich.

Gilbert smirked. "I regret nothing." Then he jumped. The pain was unbelievable. Waves of what seemed like fire washed over his back causing him to scream as he fell.

'_Matthew… please forgive me. I don't want to hurt you… I never wanted this to happen… I'll find a way to change this… So we can be together… have a second chance at happiness together… I love you…'_

**TBC**

* * *

><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>And there you go! Please review! Reviews keep me alive!

**Translations:**

_**Ich liebe dich auch mine kleiner Piepmatz- **_I love you too my little Birdie


	18. The pain of understanding

**Shinigami-cat: **Now that Matthew knows the truth how will he react… I OWN NOTHING!

**The pain of understanding**

_You grip my wrists  
>I let go<em>

_It feels so much like falling_  
><em>Separated from the fear<em>  
><em>Aware of a destination far away from here<em>

_It feels so much like falling_  
><em>Separated from the fear<em>  
><em>Aware of a destination far away from here<em>  
><em>Far away from here<em>

'_Much like falling' by Flyleaf_

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><p>Matthew looked at Gilbert wide eyed. This was just unbelievable. But it would explain so much; speaking in German, the way Francis acts about Arthur, how Matthew seemed to feel like he had done things with Gilbert before and those weird pictures that he drew of different landscapes.<p>

"So you're my Guardian angel?" Asked Matthew

Gilbert shook his head. "Ex Guardian angel. I'm one of the Fallen now."

"But why did I see that all that when I touched your back?"

Gilbert frowned and looked away from Matthew. "These scars on my back are from when my wings were ripped off… They also hold all my memories… Of you, but it's dangerous. Knowledge is power but it's also deadly. If a human touches them they can die. These memories can burn into your mind setting it on fire…" He looked back at Matthew. "And now you know the reason I want you run when I told you too."

Matthew shuddered. How could he forget? Gilbert had just told him that he was cursed to murder him. Gilbert held Matthew close and stroked his hair. It was comforting but there was one other question he needed to know the answer too. "What about Ivan?"

Gilbert froze. "What about him?"

Matthew bit his lip. He really didn't want to tell, but at the same time he had to know. "About three month ago… I was in the store room in the history class room… and I saw you and Ivan kiss."

"_Mine Gott_! No!" Cried Gilbert. "It's not what you think!" Matthew moved back a bit and saw the anger and terror in Gilbert's eyes. "Ivan… I fucking hate him. He's made my life a living hell… even more than it was already."

"Where did you go that week?" Asked Matthew. "You didn't really go hiking did you?"

Gilbert sighed. He knew he had been caught. "So… I assume you also heard that part about me doing something for Ivan like I had done in the past?" Matthew nodded. "Well it wasn't sex, that's for sure. Hell no. I wouldn't do something like that with him…" Well that was a relief for Matthew. "I have this ability, left over from when I was still an angel… One that he wanted me to use… on you."

"What?" Matthew began to panic. What could Gilbert do to him? Well besides almost kill him with his scars of doom.

"It's nothing that bad." Said Gilbert. "He just wanted me to… manipulate your dreams…"

"Manipulate my what?" Asked Matthew wide eyed.

"Don't freak out." Said Gilbert. "It's not like I've done anything that bad… Ivan just wanted me to make you remember."

"Remember? Remember what? Oh…" Matthew's face went red. He remembered all the really random and weird dreams he had… but then what about the nightmares that he had? The ones where Gilbert murdered him? All the colour drained from his face. "Those dreams I had… before we became friends… Was that you?"

Gilbert sighed. "If you mean the ones where I killed you? Sorry that was me…"

"Why?" Asked Matthew. "Why would you do that?"

"I wanted you to hate me. I wanted you to be afraid of me. I wanted you to fear me… I didn't want you to love me. I thought if I scared you enough you wouldn't fall for me. Then Ludwig pointed out that I was just slowly killing you." A smile touched the corners of his mouth. "And just to get his point across he punched me."

Matthew smiled at the memory of Gilbert and his black eye but he quickly shook his head and was back to reality. "So you're going to kill me?"

Gilbert shook his head. "Not if I can avoid it. Ivan told me if I can solve that messed up riddle of his I could get a second chance, but I'm also doing a side job for him… and if I finish that fucked up job… I won't have to answer the riddle."

"What do you have to do Gilbert?" He asked. Gilbert shook his head and sat on the edge of the bed. "Gilbert." Said Matthew. "What did you do for him?"

"I can't tell you Birdie." He looked at Matthew with his huge sad eyes. "If I told you you would hate me even more." Matthew shook his head.

"Please just tell me. I won't hate you… If I didn't after what you just told me why would I now."

Gilbert shook his head. "Matthew… I've already told you so much tonight… can't we just go to sleep and talk about it in the morning?"

Matthew sighed. If he couldn't get Gilbert to talk now he would have to try again later. "Okay Gilbert… please tell me some of our cloths are dry by now."

Gilbert quickly got up and checked the cloths. He threw Matthew's red maple leaf boxers at him and picked up his own green boxers and a shirt. While Gilbert's back was turned Matthew quickly slipped on his boxers, discarded the towel and crawled under the sheets. Gilbert quickly joined him and pulled him close to his chest.

"Sorry it didn't turn out how I planned Matthew… But happy anniversary."

"I know" Said Matthew. "Happy anniversary Gilbert."

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Alfred was furious. Not just furious, he was ready to go all Texas Chainsaw Massacre on one Gilbert Beilschmidt… Many people would probably wonder why Alfred would want to do that to someone like Gilbert… The answer is quite simple really. Matthew said he would be home by midnight at the latest… The time was now seven… the next day… You can see why he might have been a little upset… just a little.

So when Gilbert pulled up in front of the house Alfred was standing on the front lawn with one of Matthew's hockey sticks. "If that albino freak did what think he did to Matthew I'm going to shove this up his ass… and the puck too." He muttered.

Matthew got out of the car and walked past Alfred and into the house. Alfred eyed his suspiciously; bed head, wrinkled cloths… wait a second… he wasn't wearing a Green Days shirt under his hoodie when he left. Gilbert is going to die. Before he run after the albino bastard Matthew tapped him on the shoulder.

"Is that my hockey stick?" He asked. "And why do you have my puck?"

Alfred grinned. "I'm going to beat the crap out of Gilbert for taking your virginity."

Matthew's face went bright red. "He didn't! Stop acting like a moron Alfred! Get inside!" He grabbed Alfred's arm and dragged him inside. When they were inside Matthew locked the door and turned to Alfred. His face was still bright red. "Is dad home?"

Alfred rolled his eyes. "He's never home."

"Good." Said Matthew. He pulled his hockey stick out of Alfred's hands and hit him on the head with it. Not enough to make him bleed just enough to leave a bruise on the side of his head.

"What the hell Matthew?" Growled Alfred as he clutched his aching face.

Matthew frowned. "I didn't have sex with Gilbert." He said. "We had dinner. His car broke down. We stayed at a motel overnight. I didn't call you because A I didn't think you would remember I was your brother and B I had other things on my mind."

Alfred rolled his eyes. "You didn't have to hit me with that you know."

Matthew rolled his eyes and walked up the stairs. "If I didn't hit you, you wouldn't have realized that I was being serious."

Alfred pouted and walked into the lounge room. He sat down on the lounge and picked up the phone. He quickly punched in the numbers and pressed the phone to his ear. **"Hello? Arthur Kirkland speaking."**

"ARTIE!" Cried Alfred. "MATTHEW HIT ME WITH A HOCKEY STICK!"

"**Bloody hell Alfred! Don't scream!"**

"Sorry… But Matthew hit me with hockey stick! Why would he do that?"

"**What were you doing before he hit you?"**

"I told him I was going to kill the albino freak for fucking him."

"…**WHAT GILBERT DID WHAT?"**

"I thought you said no shouting? Anyway Matthew said they didn't… But Matthew is wearing his shirt."

"**Be reasonable Alfred and think logically. Where did they go last night?"**

"Matthew said they had dinner, the car broke down and they stayed at a motel."

Alfred could hear Arthur's eyebrows twitch. **"You realize it was raining last night?"**

"But what does that have to do with anything?"

"… **Listen to me very careful Alfred. It was raining right? And the car broke down right? And they went to a motel to spend the night right?"**

"And your point is?"

"**Well maybe… Just maybe… THEY GOT DRENCHED AND DECIDED TO TAKE OFF THEIR CLOTHS OR SOME SHIT! IT DOESN'T MEAN THEY HAD TO HAVE HAD SEX!"**

"Hey that's the second time you've screamed at me." Pouted Alfred.

"**I know… Oh crap Peter just heard what I said. Can I come over? I have a feeling I can't bribe Peter with lollies anymore."**

"Any time babe. Want me to pick you up?"

"**No need. I'm running out the door as soon as I hang up."**

"Okay see you in ten."

"**More like five." **Arthur hung up. Alfred chuckled and put the phone on the coffee table. He hummed and rubbed the bruise. Matthew could be really scary when he wanted to be. Maybe if Gilbert tried to rape Matthew He'd be strong enough to defend himself. He would break that bastards head in no time. He wasn't as weak as people thought he was.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Matthew was laying on his bed looking up at the ceiling. Everything was just… so odd. He knew he should feel terrified of Gilbert now. He had practically confessed that he was going to kill him, but he didn't feel afraid at all. "I guess it really hasn't sunk in yet." He said to himself.

He closed his eyes and tried to think. _'I should hate him… but I just can't… Everything he's told me… and everything he hasn't… I just love him too much… I never want to be apart from him… But eventually…'_ The very thought made Matthew feel sick.

If he died and came back again would heforget all about Gilbert? Would they have to start all over again? He knew they would have too… He had apparently done it for centuries… For centuries he had been falling for Gilbert and dying. Forgetting and letting it all happen again… He couldn't even begin to imagine how Gilbert felt… killing him repeatedly.

"Oh Gilbert…" He murmured. "What are we going to do?"

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Gilbert was sitting in his room. He couldn't believe he told Matthew everything, but he was even more surprised that Matthew didn't run away, or scream, or call him insane. Tears welled in the corner of his eyes. Matthew now knew that he was going to kill him.

His phone began to ring. He reluctantly answered. He hoped that it was Matthew. "Gilbert here." He said.

"**Good to know da."**

"What do you want Ivan." Growled Gilbert. He wasn't in the mood for Ivan's bull shit.

"**I have a little job for you. Could you come over?"**

"Can I come over latter?"

"**You could… But Natalia and Toris have a nice view of Feliciano and Ludwig at the moment."**

"If you fucking touch my brother. I'll kill you."

"**Kolkolkol Now where have I heard that before? Oh that's right. You said that just before you agreed to do that little job for me."**

"Screw you Ivan." Hissed Gilbert. "Fine… How long will it take? Ludwig's going to throw a fit if I disappear for another week and Matthew…"

"**Five days maximum." **Said Ivan. **"Or you could always go back to answering that riddle for me…"**

"Shit. Don't do that… I'll be there… Same place?"

"**Yes… I look forward to seeing you again Gilbert." **Gilbert hung up the phone and sighed. Today was just not his day. He wanted to stay with Matthew, especially after what had just happened… But if it would get rid of the curse and help them live together like Ludwig and Feliciano were doing now.

He stood up and grabbed his bike helmet. It was a long drive to Ivan's house…

**TBC**

* * *

><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>Sorry for the short chapter… BTW who you want the next chapter to be about? Your options are as follows

Francis

Antonio

Ivan

Only you can decide… Please Review!


	19. Francis fails at suicide

**Shinigami-cat: **So… I listened, I heard and rejected your suggestions and so there XP. Why does everyone love Antonio so freaking much? He'll have his own chapter soon damn it!… I OWN NOTHING!

**Francis fails at suicide**

_This is my last resort_

_Cut my_ _life into pieces_  
><em>I've reached my last resort<em>  
><em>Suffocation<em>  
><em>No breathing<em>  
><em>Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding<em>  
><em>Do you even care if I die bleeding<em>  
><em>Who did me wrong<em>  
><em>Who did me right<em>  
><em>If I took my life tonight<em>  
><em>Chances are that I might<em>  
><em>Mutilation outta sight<em>  
><em>And I'm contemplating suicide<em>

_'Cause I'm losing my sight_  
><em>Losing my mind<em>  
><em>Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine<em>  
><em>Losing my sight<em>  
><em>Losing my mind<em>  
><em>Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine<em>

'_Last Resort' by Papa Roach_

* * *

><p>Francis sighed. Nobody cared about him. That much was obvious. Everyone else was too caught up in their love lives to pay any attention to him. Now don't get the wrong idea about him. He wasn't a huge attention whore or something… He just wanted someone… anyone to see that he wasn't alright.<p>

He was sitting in the storm water canal under a bridge. He had a bottle of pills in one hand and a knife in the other. He was at the end of his rope. He just needed it all to end. He looked at the bottle of pills again. He hated dry swallowing pills… but whatever. He was going to attempt to O.D on some kind of pain killer.

He popped about twenty of the capsules into his hand and began the slow process of swallowing each pill. _'I wonder how long it will take to die.' _He wondered. _'I wonder if it's painful…'_

He just shrugged and continued to swallow the pills until there was none left. Francis crossed his arms and waited for ten minutes… He was still alive. He didn't even feel sick. "Right… I'm a damn angel…" Muttered Francis.

He turned the knife in his hand and laughed darkly. "May as well try… It's not like it's going to kill me… But it wouldn't be a bad thing if it did." He raised the blade to his wrist and ran it across in one swift motion. "He hates me." He muttered. "Will he ever remember how much he loved me? How much I love him?"

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

"You're really something Francis." Said Arthur before he took a second swing of his beer.

"Really?" Asked Francis. "I was under the impression I was made of air."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "You really are a weird bugger you know that?"

"And you are a strange little Englishman with caterpillar eyebrows." Francis took a sip of wine. "But I've always liked caterpillars… they're a symbol of something better and more beautiful to come."

Arthur looked away from Francis, his face noticeably redder. Francis couldn't tell if it was from the alcohol or from what he had just said. But he could tell he was drunk… but not that drunk. He cleared his throat and looked at the Brit.

"Arthur? Do I ever cross your mind?" He asked. He was going to hear what Arthur said and see if it matched his thoughts.

"No, never." Said Arthur. _'You can't cross my mind when you're always on it.'_

Francis smiled. "Do you like me?"

"No. I don't like you at all." Huffed Arthur. _'I can't like you because I love you.'_

Now things were getting interesting. "Do you want me?"

"No." Growled Arthur. _'I need you.'_

"Would you cry if I left?" Asked Francis innocently.

"I wouldn't cry at all." Said Arthur. _'I wouldn't cry if you left… because I would die.'_

Francis frowned. Arthur's mind was giving him some very interesting answers. "Would you live for me?"

"No you git." Said Arthur. _'I can't live for you because I'd die for you.'_

"Would you do anything for me?"

"No way." Said Arthur. _'I can't do anything for you when I'd do everything for you.'_

"What would you choose?" Asked Francis. "Your life or me?"

"Easy. My life." Said Arthur. _'Because you are my life Francis… why can't you understand that?'_

Now it was time for the big question. "Would you leave your wife for me?"

"Never." Said Arthur. _'I can't leave someone I've never truly been with.'_

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Francis gasped as tears rolled down his face. His wrist was a mess of red lines and blood. He dropped the knife and let the red liquid drip down onto the concrete floor. He slowly steadied his breathing and looked down at his arm. The dark, deep cut marks were already healing. Francis sighed and stood up. Once again he had failed at suicide. He picked up the knife and began to walk home.

He had borrowed one of Gilbert's hoodies and pair of Antonio's sweat pants. He just didn't see the beauty in the world anymore. How could he when everything just seemed so wrong?

"Arthur…" He sighed. "I wonder where you are now?" He started to walk home. The clouds were a little grey but it to Francis it seemed darker. He wasn't looking to the world through rose tinted glasses anymore. He could feel the blood begin to dry on his arm.

He put his ear phones in and listened to music. It was nothing special, just some death metal and other songs about pain and suffering. It was stupid but he liked to listen to it every now and then. He pulled the hoodie over his head and kept his eyes on the pavement.

He hadn't walked five steps before he was knocked off his feet. Francis ended up looking down at the grass. _'Please just let the earth swallow me up right now.'_

"Damn are you okay?" Asked a voice. Francis sighed and sat up.

"I'm fine." He said. "I just… Arthur?" Francis looked right into Arthur's Emerald eyes, and Arthur looked back at him in shock.

"Bloody hell Francis!" Said Arthur. "What the bloody hell happened to you? I didn't even recognise you, without your designer labels."

Francis chuckled darkly. "Why would you care? You hate me."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "I was just being polite, and if you're fine I'll just… Holy crap! Are you bleeding?"

Francis followed his gaze to his arm. It was still bloodied and red. Francis pulled the sleeve over his hand and stood up. "Don't worry about it Arthur. It's nothing important."

"Nothing important?" Asked Arthur. "You're bloody bleeding! What's wrong with you?"

Francis shook his head. "It's not important. Now leave me alone." He pushed past Arthur and continued to walk, but Arthur grabbed his hand and pulled up the sleeve to revile the cuts on his arm.

"I bloody knew it." Mumbled Arthur. He looked up at Francis. "What the hell are you doing to yourself?"

Francis pulled his arm away and covered his arm again. "Go away Arthur. You know just what I'm doing."

"Why the hell would you do that to yourself?" Asked Arthur.

Francis shrugged. "I'm just tired of living. I feel like I've just lived for years and years and years… but nothing gets better… everything gets worse…" He tried to walk away again but Arthur grabbed his arm again.

"You're a bloody moron." He snapped. "That's no reason to kill yourself. I admit that I don't like you and I'm sorry about that, but I don't want someone I know to kill themselves for selfish purposes."

"Selfish? SELFISH!" Cried Francis. "You think I'm being selfish? If you knew, you'd know I was doing everyone a favour!"

"What bloody favour? You're just killing yourself for no reason." Snapped Arthur. "Don't you have anyone who would miss you if you died?"

Francis clenched his fists. _'Idiot… If he only knew… If he only knew…'_ Francis shook his head and kept walking.

"Oi you wanka!" Said Arthur. "I'm talking to you."

Francis turned around and glared at Arthur. "I did have someone Arthur… But you know what? They died!" Growled Francis. Arthur was taken aback by this. "They died and I couldn't save them. You know how they died? They drowned! Fell into the river and drowned! Now I can't even look at someone who reminds me of them… even just a little bit, because every time I do, things get worse. Now leave me alone!" He really didn't want to be harsh with Arthur but he really wanted to be left alone.

Arthur sighed. "Fine you bloody wanka. If you want to be a stupid git and kill yourself go ahead. See if I care." Arthur walked past Francis. Francis sighed. Things couldn't be worse for him. A hazy voice caught his ear and he turned back to Arthur. _'Bloody git.'_ He heard Arthur think. _'Why can't that man whore just find someone to fuck? If he did that he'd feel a lot better… stupid git.'_

Francis smiled a little. His notorious playboy attitude had obviously spread around a lot. "Oh Arthur." He whispered. "The only reason I'm a man whore is because I can't have you…"

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Francis walked inside the house and collapsed on the couch. All the blood on his wrist had dried, but all the meds he swallowed and him feel like he drank too much soda. He heard the door to the basemen swing open and a very pissed off German walk out. "When did you get here Francis?"

Francis shrugged. "A few minutes, a few hours? What does it matter? Life sucks."

Gilbert rolled his eyes. "Did you try suicide again?"

Francis pulled up his sleeve to reveal the cuts on his arm. "Dose that answer your question?"

Gilbert nodded. "Yep… Well I'm going out… See you in a few days."

Francis sat up and frowned. "But I wanted to know how your date with Matthew went."

Gilbert chuckled. "Let's just say… I gave him a little history lesson."

Francis couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You didn't tell him did you?"

Gilbert shrugged. "What was I meant to do? He touched my scar and had a flash back."

Francis face palmed. "Wonderful… just wonderful… Ludwig is going to kill you when he finds out."

Gilbert grinned. "But that' where you are wrong French-fry. Ludwig isn't one of us any more, he's broken free… but just in case I'm running away for a few days." He grabbed his helmet that was sitting by the door. "See you later. French-fry!"

When Gilbert closed the door Francis pouted. "French-fry? He's calling me French-fry now?" He stretched and went to find the laptop. If he couldn't kill himself he might as well see what was happening on Facebook.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

"… and then he kissed me!" Beamed Antonio proudly. "Right on the lips! I didn't even have to ask him! He just did it! Mind you his face was as red as a tomato after would… but it was so cute!" Antonio had decided to tell Francis about his little date with Lovino. Francis just sat there, not listening to a single word and nodding every so often.

"Sounds like a fun day."

Antonio pouted. "What's wrong?" He asked. "You've been acting all weird today… and the day before… and the day before… is it about Arthur?"

Francis nodded. "I hate this… You know what he called me today Antonio? He called me a man whore… Not to my face but I heard him think it."

Antonio patted him on the back. "Don't worry about it _amigo_. Your curse will end soon. Ludwig is proof of that."

"But it still doesn't make it any easier." Snapped Francis. "It could be years until either of us are free… I can't wait that long."

"Neither can I Francis." Said Antonio. "I'm just waiting for the day when I can hold my little Lovi in my arms without fears that he will one day die."

Francis nodded. "And I'm waiting for the day Arthur will fall in love with me again… Not like that will happen anytime soon…"

Antonio smiled. "Just stop cutting yourself Francis. There's nothing you can do about it anymore… We just have to let it happen."

"I know Antonio." Said Francis. "I know…"

**TBC**

* * *

><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>Done, finished, fineto! Review it please…


	20. Library books and weapons

**Shinigami-cat: **I'm an angel I swear! The horns are just there to keep the halo in place… I OWN NOTHING!

**Library books and weapons**

_Torn apart at the seams of my dreams turn to tears  
>I'm not feeling the situation<br>Run away try to find that safe place you can hide  
>It's the best place to be when you're feeling like<em>

_Me! (Me)_  
><em>Yeah! (Yeah)<em>  
><em>All these things I hate revolve around Me! (Me)<em>  
><em>Yeah! (Yeah)<em>  
><em>Just back off before i snap<em>

'_All these things I hate' by Bullet for my Valentine_

* * *

><p>Matthew felt like bursting into tears. Gilbert had disappeared again. But at least this time Gilbert rang him up about it… okay he left him a note… a text really…<p>

_Sorry Birdie. Remember when I said I did jobs for Ivan? Well I have to go now. Sorry!_

It was the worst feeling ever for the Canadian. He wanted to stay with Gilbert for as long as possible… but because of the circumstances he guessed it might be for the best. Maybe he should try to learn more about Gilbert… about angels. That would be a good idea… Maybe he could understand some things about him… maybe he could help break the curse.

Matthew chucked on a hoodie and a pair of faded jeans and walked into the lounge room. Alfred was sitting on the couch with an Asian boy named Kiku (They were playing COD). "Hey Alfred could you drop me off at the library?"

"Damn I didn't even see that one!" Cried Alfred as he got shot repeatedly.

"Alfred kun." Said Kiku. "You wouldn't get shot if you moved up there."

"How the heck did you get there?" Asked Alfred.

"Up the steps and turn left. I'll cover you"

Matthew sighed. Looks like he was walking today (He didn't want to take the car unless Alfred reported it stolen… AGAIN!). So he grabbed a pair of house keys and walked out the door. It was a cool and crisp kind of day. So it wasn't that bad walking down the street.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Matthew opened the door to the library and walked inside. The musky smell of leather bound books, old pages and… literature filled the room and the droning noise of a sleeping man resinated through the library. The Librarian Hercules Karpusi was fast asleep at the front desk.

Matthew sighed, put in his ear phones and walked deep into the library. He had a rough idea of where he was heading, down to the mythology section. He picked out a few books and sat down. Not a lot of them were very helpful… Lots of them were very vague about angels and what they did… he was about to give up when he happened upon a book by Eduard Von Bock.

It was a very strange book filled with pictures and diagrams. But it had a whole section on Fallen angels. Matthew turned to that chapter and began to read.

_Many people would believe that Fallen angels would have little to no purpose when they have fallen, but this is not the case. Many (if not all) have fallen and are in the process of serving out their sentences. This could be as severe as aimlessly wondering the earth to watching someone close to them dying over and over again. The severity of the punishment often depends on the offence the angel has caused. The worse offence an angel can do is put someone or something before God in their hearts._

Matthew gulped. Gilbert had done just that. He flipped a few pages until something caught his eye. It was a picture of a dagger.

_The blade of seven._

_The blade of seven is a mythical blade that is said to be the only thing strong enough to kill anything and everything. To create this blade there are several steps one must take; seven people (humans and only humans) must have their throats cuts with a virgin knife of pure silver (that is a knife that has never been used for anything else), blood collected in lead containers. Once the blood has been collected, the actual blade of seven must be an alloy of Titanium and angel blood. When the blade is out of the forge instead of being cooled in water it must be cooled in the blood. Once this is done the blade should have a rainbow tint and not dull. But the blade of seven can only be used once._

Matthew looked at the series of pictures under the paragraph. The first was one of a human slitting someone's throat with a knife and the blood flowing into a jar. The next was one of a human standing in a forge with a glowing gagger in the kiln. The third one was one of a dagger in blood and the final one made Matthew feel sick. It was a picture of an angel writhing in agony while the blade was in his chest.

"That's horrible." He said to himself. He continued to look through the book. It was very interesting. It gave descriptions of what rolls angels played and their ranks. This book would have been very helpful when Matthew was doing his assignment.

_The angels riddle_

_The angels riddle is said to be the only way a fallen angel can get a second chance. It is unknown what this second chance actually is and there is no way of knowing if this second chance what they (that is the angels) want. The second chance could range from anything to becoming an angel again to perhaps becoming human._

When Matthew got to the last few pages he froze. There at the back was a picture… a very familiar picture of a man in a top hat an holding a cane. Matthew dug around in his pocket until he found what he was looking for… The picture of Gilbert. He held it next to the picture in the book and gulped.

It was the same photo. Except this photo wasn't cut in half like the one he had… this one was complete… and next to Gilbert was Matthew… In a butlers uniform? Well it wasn't really Matthew, but himself from a former life. The caption underneath really freaked him out.

_Gilbert Beilschmidt, a professor of Theology, and his man servant Matthew Williams. 1882_

'_Man servant? I was his man servant in 1882?' _Thought Matthew in shock. This was just unbelievable. He tried to find out more about the picture but got nothing. "Who is Eduard Von Bock?" He wondered out loud. He seemed to know a lot about angels.

He decided to go onto one of the library's computers to have a look. But there was no record of Eduard Von Bock anywhere. "Must be a pen name…" Mumbled Matthew.

That was disappointing. He had hoped that he could have found some more books written by him... or maybe even a biography of some sort. But there was nothing... nothing at all...

Matthew shrugged. He was just going to have to borrow the book and see what else was written in it. He stood up and walked to the front desk. Hercules was still fast asleep. Matthew sigh at least he knew how to borrow from the library without any help. He turned the computer screen towards himself and grabbed the scanner. One quick scan later he was out of there.

Hercules opened his eyes slightly and yawned. "Someone there? No?" He shrugged and went back to sleep.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

It was about seven at night when Hercules woke up again. He blinked a couple of times and yawned. Another quiet day in the library for him. He turned on the microphone and quietly spoke. "If there is anyone in here at all... just letting you know it's closing in one minute."

He calmly waited for a minute and no one came so he stood up and went to lock the door. When he got up he noticed a guy slowly walking towards the exit. He had his hoodie up and had his hands in his pockets and a black backpack. Hercules stood to the side to let him pass. The boy stopped walking. "Could you please tell me when you're open on Sunday?" He asked.

Hercules shrugged. "I'll check." He walked over to his desk to have a look. It took him a few seconds to find a sheet of paper with the times on it. Suddenly Hercules felt something that felt like fine hail run across his neck, and something hot and sticky drenched his shirt.

"I'm sorry." Said the boy as he put the bloodied knife back in his pocket. "I'm so sorry." Hercules fell to the ground and the boy knelt next to him, took off his backpack and pulled out a black jar. "I'm sorry. I really am."

He opened the jar and tilted it so it could collect the blood. The boy continued to apologise the whole way through. Hercules just looked at him in shock. Soon his vision started to get fuzzy and the boy's voice became distant... Hercules was dead.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

When the black jar was almost full the boy put the lid back on and put it back into his bag. He quickly slung the bag over his shoulder and snuck outside where a black van was waiting for him.

He opened the door and jumped into the back seat. He held onto the bag tightly and shuddered. "Did you get it Gilbert?" Asked the driver.

"Yes Toris." Said Gilbert as he removed his hoodie. "There was a hell of a lot of blood in that one... Are you going to drive or what?"

Toris quickly started the engine and began to drive. The drive was long and boring in Gilbert's opinion but soon they pulled up in front of the house. Toris parked the car in the street and they both got out. Gilbert followed Toris inside.

When they got inside Natalia was sitting on the stairs sharpening her knifes, she stopped for a second to glair at Gilbert but then went back to work. Katyusha was sitting in the living room sowing some buttons back onto a shirt, she smiled sympathetically at Gilbert and Toris. They passed the kitchen where Eduard and Raivis were cooking. "Do you know where Ivan is?" Asked Toris.

"I think he's in the basement." Said Eduard.

Toris thanked him and led Gilbert to the basement. Toris opened the door and motioned for Gilbert to go inside, which he did. The further into he walked into the basement the hotter it became... damn boiler. When he finally got to the bottom Ivan was moving two black jars around a shelf. Gilbert cleared his throat. "I'm back."

Ivan turned around and beamed childishly. "Wonderful. So I assume you got them?" Gilbert opened his backpack and pulled out two back jars. He passed them to Ivan who happily took them. "You are doing really well Gilbert. Just a few more and you can get your second chance."

Gilbert rolled his eyes. "I know... and unless you have anything else I need to do tonight I'm going home." Gilbert turned and started to walk up the stairs.

"Feel free to use the bathroom Gilbert." Said Ivan. "You're tracking blood all over the house."

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Gilbert closed the bathroom door and quickly pulled off his hoodie and blood stained pants. He chucked them into a plastic bag and got out a set of clean cloths. Before he put them on he went over to the sink and washed the blood off his hands. "I fucking hate this." He muttered. "Fucking Ivan... Fucking blood jars... Fucking everything."

He looked at himself in the mirror. In his own opinion he looked disgusting. Everything he hated was looking back at himself. Blood red eyes, ghostly pail skin and just his overall appearance made him sick. "How the hell can Matthew look at me?" He asked his reflection. "What would he say if he knew what I'm doing... for us... for him?"

He could feel hot tears began to build at the corner of his eyes. He felt gross, slimy, filthy, sick, like... a monster... an unforgivable monster. He fell to his knees and began to cry. "Why am I doing this? I should just die! How could he forgive me if he knew?"

His job for Ivan... The fast track to getting his second chance with Matthew... was at the cost of innocent lives... People he didn't know... People who hadn't done him anything to him... all dead. The woman who envied her sister, the angry man who took his rage out at the shooting gallery, the business man who never seemed to have enough money and that Librarian... he killed them all.

Gilbert slowly got to his feet and washed his face. He was going to change his cloths, get on his bike, dump his bloodied cloths at the dump and go home to be with Matthew. He pulled on a fresh pair of jeans and a jumper, he shoved the rest of his stuff into his back pack and sighed. He hated himself.

As he walked to the door he heard Natalia giggle. He turned around and glared at her. "What's so funny bitch?"

She smiled at him. "I find it funny how diligently you're working for big brother. What do you think Matthew will say when he finds out?"

"He won't find out." Hissed Gilbert.

Natalia laughed. "Really? Hasn't he thought its strange how you keep running off every now and then? Won't he find out about that Librarians death soon enough? He'll connect the dots eventually you know. Then what will he do? He'll abandon you! You fool!"

Gilbert growled. "Shut the fuck up you whore. Ivan promised me Matthew wouldn't find out."

Natalia giggled. "Have it your way. What is that old saying again? I believe its ignorance is bliss?"

Gilbert gave her the finger and grabbed his helmet before slamming the door in her face. _'Bitch.' _He thought angrily. _'Who does she think she is?'_ He jumped on to his motorbike and drove off down the road.

Soon a lake came into view and Gilbert stopped. He pulled the plastic bag out of his back pack and sighed. It would be quicker than throwing it into the dump. He swung the bag around his head a couple of times and tossed it. The bag hit the water with a splash and slowly sank. "Water cleanses all." He mumbled.

He started up the bike again and headed home. One thought ran through his head the whole way home. _'If Matthew knew what I was doing... would he hate me?'_

**TBC**

* * *

><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>Sad ending... REVIEW!


	21. Get naked or get out!

**Shinigami-cat: **So... well the title says it all really... I OWN NOTHING!

**Get naked or get out!**

_I can feel your fever, taking over  
>Can you see your fever, taking over me<br>I can feel your fever, taking over  
>Got a dirty feeling, and you're the remedy<br>And you're the remedy_

'_Fever' by Bullet for my Valentine._

* * *

><p>Matthew was looking up at the roof with the library book placed on his chest. He had tried reading but he just gave up. He was watching a spider walking across the roof. It was strange really. He could hear the door open and slam shut. Matthew closed his eyes. <em>'Could you just be quiet Alfred?' <em>He asked himself. He closed his eyes and waited for Alfred to run in and yell at him about something stupid.

His bedroom door slammed open and Alfred jumped onto his bed. "Go away." Said Matthew. "Just leave me Al-"

Matthew sentence was cut off when Alfred crashed his lips into Matthew's and natural Matthew's eyes snapped open. He wasn't looking at Alfred's blond hair or blue eyes. No he was looking at Gilbert's silver hair and red eyes. Gilbert smiled as he pulled back. "It's not nice to tell the awesome me to go away."

Matthew blushed and pushed Gilbert off. "When did you get back?"

Gilbert smirked and ran his hand through Matthew's hair. "I got back late last night." He said. "Really late. I would have called but it was like one in the morning. I didn't want to wake you."

Matthew smiled and picked up the library book. "I found this book yesterday in the library and I kind of wanted to ask you question about one of the pictures."

Gilbert tilted his head and frowned. "You went to the Library yesterday?" Matthew nodded and held up the page with the picture from 1882. Gilbert burst into laughter. "Keseseseseses! That's so fucking funny! I can't believe I used to wear that stupid vest... But you look damn sexy like a butler Birdie."

Matthew's blush darkened. "I... I didn't know... you were a professor..."

Gilbert nodded. "Totally. I really wanted to do something because well... Ludwig's already technically a chemist, mathematician and a volcanologist, Antonio's an astronomer and Francis is a biologist. I wanted to have at least one thing under my belt so I took up theology."

Matthew nodded. "I guess it makes sense... But it's a little ironic that you decided to take up Theology? The study of gods and religions?"

Gilbert shrugged. "I know. But I already knew a heck of a lot about it so it was a snap to do the other stuff."

"So I was your butler?"

Gilbert nodded. "Yep. You were quite cute in that uniform. I almost jumped you the first time I saw you." Gilbert looked at Matthew for a second and started to laugh. "Keseseseseses... you made the funniest face when I hugged you like that."

"Like what?" Asked Matthew.

Gilbert's eyes seemed to sparkle dangerously and his smirk seemed to get wider. "Like this." He lunged at Matthew knocking him flat back onto the mattress. His hands quickly snaked up Matthew's shirt and ran along his chest. Matthew yelped and gasped as his fingers began to rub against his nipples, sending shock waves up his spine. He quickly pushed Gilbert off.

"Your hands are freezing!"

Gilbert kissed Matthew's neck. "Sorry Birdie." He sat back up and grinned stupidly at Matthew. "That's the look." He said.

Matthew pouted crossed his arms. "That's not funny."

Gilbert wasn't listening to Matthew, instead he seemed to be interested in Matthew's hair. "What the hell is that?"

"What?" Asked Matthew in confusion.

"That." Said Gilbert. He pointed to Matthew's random curl. "I mean what is that? I've seen that thing for years and it seriously annoys me."

"Oh that. That's MAPLE!" Gilbert reached out and grabbed the curl. Matthew bit his lip and suppressed a moan. Gilbert tugged on it.

"Seriously Matthew." Said Gilbert. "Can I cut it off? It's been bugging me for centuries... Why is your face turning red?"

Matthew shivered and shut his eyes tightly. He tried to say something but all that came out was a moan and heavy panting. Eventually he managed to stutter out some words. "Er... erogen... ous zone... Oh Gil!" He moaned out.

Gilbert's eyes went wide. "It's your erogenous zone? Oops..." He let go of Matthew's curl and turned a little red. "Sorry..."

Matthew took several deep breaths. "It's... It's fine... How could you not know?"

Gilbert pouted. "It's not like I've gone out of my way to grab at it in the past or anything." Matthew shifted and noticed that he was quite hard. His blush darkened. He hoped that Gilbert hadn't noticed but alas said albino did. "Is that a train in your pants or are you just happy to see me?"

'_He's going with that line?' _Though Matthew. He shook his head and glared at Gilbert. "You realise it's your fault I'm like this?"

Gilbert nodded. "I know and once again I'm sorry... but I can help you with that... if you want."

Matthew's blush darkened. If he went any redder he might just faint. "I... I... Gilbert..."

"Yes?"

Matthew didn't know what to think. Gilbert was offering him a blowjob! What should he do? "Okay..." He shyly spread his legs apart. "Do you... Um... know how?"

Gilbert chuckled and softly kissed Matthew's lips. "I recon as long as I don't bite I'm good." He quickly slipped of Matthew's pants to reveal his dark blue boxers. There was a large bulge sticking up. Matthew blushed in embarrassment. Gilbert gently kissed Matthew again and pushed him down onto the mattress. "Relax Matthew." He trailed kisses down his jaw. "I'm going to make you feel awesome."

Matthew gasped slightly when Gilbert pulled off his boxers exposing his erection to the cool air of the bedroom. Gilbert lowly began to lick Matthew's shaft from base to tip, the blond moaned slightly and let his head roll back. Gilbert smirked a little and took all of him into his mouth.

Matthew's face was bright red and he let out a loud lusty moan. "Gil... Oh Gil..." When Gilbert began to bob his head it drove the blond crazy. Matthew arched his back off the mattress and began to shiver.

Gilbert began to hum sending shock waves of pleasure up Matthew's spine. He couldn't help but buck his hips up but Gilbert held his hips down. Matthew could feel coil build up in the pit of his stomach. "Gil I-I'm gonna c-cu-!"

Gilbert just bobbed faster. Matthew screamed out Gilbert's name as he came hard into his mouth. Gilbert swallowed and pulled off Matthew with a pop. The blond was breathing heavily, trying to catch his breath. "You okay Birdie?" He asked.

Matthew nodded. "Just... let me... catch... catch my breath..."

Gilbert lay next to Matthew and pulled him close. "Just go to sleep." He whispered.

Matthew furrowed his brows. "Don't... you want me... to do something for you?" He asked. "I want you to feel good too."

Gilbert shook his head. "It's fine Matthew. Besides, who said it didn't feel good giving you a blow job? Just go to sleep you must be really tired." Almost as if to confirm what Gilbert said Matthew yawned and began to close his eyes. Gilbert smiled and whispered. "I'll stay with you until you wake up Matthew."

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

It had been about an hour since Matthew had fallen asleep. Gilbert was still with him but the albino's mind began to wander. _'He's so beautiful... But how long until he knows about the things I do for Ivan? No he wouldn't find out... Ivan promised me Matthew would never know...'_

Gilbert's eyes wandered over Matthew's face; his glasses were askew over closed eyelids, his hair clung to his sweaty face and his mouth was slightly opened. He could have been mistaken for an angel... a pant less angel... Gilbert pulled off his shirt and used it to cover Matthew's vital regions.

He lay back down and looked up at the roof. _'Tick tock, time goes by. How long until we all die...' _Gilbert shook his head._ 'Okay that was a creepy thought.'_ His stomach began to growl. _'Brilliant time to get hungry... Stupid stomach.' _He looked over at Matthew again and watched his chest rise and fall. It was really a strange sight. Rise and fall. Up and down.

Gilbert smirked as he looked at Matthew's neck. _'Damn how long has it been since I've ripped into his neck? Around early 1900's? Wonder if it still tastes just as good as before...'_ Gilbert shook his head. He was disgusted at his thoughts. _'NO! I'm not going to think about that! That's just wrong! I'm never going to hurt Matthew like that again.'_

He could feel tears begin to form right in the corner of his eyes. He pulled Matthew close and buried his face into Matthew's neck. _'Never, ever again! I won't hurt you again!' _

Matthew slowly opened his eyes and glanced at Gilbert who was sobbing slightly. "Are you okay Gilbert?" He asked.

Gilbert nodded slightly. "I'm fine... Just got a lot of things going on at the moment."

Matthew shifted a little closer to Gilbert. "Why don't you tell me about it?" He asked. "Maybe I can help?"

Gilbert shook his head. "I can't tell you. If I did you would hate me so much."

"I can't hate you." Said Matthew. "I love you too much."

Gilbert sighed. Maybe now was the time to tell Matthew. "Okay Matthew. The thing is-" Suddenly Alfred burst through the door with a stupid grin on his face.

"Mattie I need to talk to you about... Gilbert?"

Alfred looked at them with wide eyes. Matthew turned bright red and held Gilbert's jacket firmly over his vital regions. Gilbert on the other hand smirked at Alfred and pulled Matthew as close to him as he could. "Either get naked or get out!" He told the startled American.

Alfred took a deep breath. "So you defiled my baby brother? That's just great." He calmly walked into the room and walked towards Matthew's hockey stick. He picked it up and looked at Gilbert. He was smiling his usual hero grin but his eyes were full of sadistic intent. "I'll give you three seconds before kill you."

Gilbert quickly jumped up and bolted for the door. "Talk to you later Birdie!" He called. Alfred quickly followed with the hockey stick raised high above his head.

"I'M GONNA FUCKING MURDER YOU! DAMN ALBINO PRICK IS GONNA DIE!" He screamed as he chased the albino out of the house and across the road.

Matthew felt like he was going to die of embarrassment. He stood up and pulled his pants back on. He couldn't believe he didn't hear Alfred come in. It was just unbelievable. He had such bad luck. "Just when Gilbert was going to tell me what was wrong too... Now I have to get my hockey stick back from Alfred."

**TBC**

* * *

><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>Okay then... that was that. On another note lots of people have been trying to solve the riddle. It is none of the following:

Love

Bye

Someone's name

Yes

No

Hi

Save

Please

Push

Safety

Kill

Life

So... Please review ^^


	22. Antonio's date

**Shinigami-cat: **So... This next chapter is... well... a chapter? Anyway it's about Antonio so enjoy... I OWN NOTHING!

**Antonio's date**

_I'm gonna fight for what's right  
>Today I'm speaking my mind<br>And if it kills me tonight  
>I will be ready to die<em>

_A hero's not afraid to give his life_  
><em>A hero's gonna save me just in time<em>

'_Hero' by Skillet_

* * *

><p>Antonio was happily sitting at home going over his plans for the night when Gilbert ran through the door and locked it. "Barricade the door Antonio!" He cried as he jammed the door with a hat stand. "The Americans are coming! The Americans are coming!"<p>

Antonio got up and looked out the window to see a very pissed off looking Alfred running towards the house with a hockey stick above his head. "Making new friends?" He asked.

"Very funny." Said Gilbert as he tried to pull the couch in front of the door. "Are you going to help me or what?" Antonio chuckled and helped Gilbert move it in front of the door, just in time to hear something solid crash into the door.

"DAMN ALBINO BASTARD!" Yelled Alfred. "GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW! YOU COWARD!"

"He just called you a coward." Said Antonio. "Are you going to take that?"

Gilbert shrugged and walked into the kitchen. "Whatever. He'll get bored and leave eventually." He went to the fridge and grabbed a can of beer. "You doing anything tonight?"

Antonio nodded excitedly. "_Si!_ I'mtaking Lovino out for dinner! We're going to go to this nice little Italian restaurant just near his house and then were going to walk back to his house and then-"

"Slow down Romeo." Said Gilbert. "How are you getting to his house?"

"Could you drop me off? I'd ask Francis but... He's been suicidal lately, Ludwig would be mad if he crashed the car again." Antonio frowned at the. Francis had been acting more suicidal then he normally would when Arthur rejected him. He was a little worried that Francis might even try to rip out his heart again... that was gruesome.

Gilbert shrugged. "Okay sounds like fun. I'll make sure to be on Francis suicide watch from now on as well."

Antonio grinned. "Thanks Gilbert you're a good-"

SMASH!

Antonio and Gilbert looked into the lounge room where Alfred was smashing the window to try and get inside. He saw Gilbert and a twisted grin stretched across his face. "I'm going to fucking murder you."

Gilbert gulped. "Damn he's persistent." He ran to the back door and ran outside. Antonio happily waved goodbye to him as he jumped the fence.

Antonio turned back to Alfred who was still breaking the window. "He's jumped the fence Alfred." He called

Alfred stopped and looked at Antonio. "Thanks Antonio." He quickly ran off to find Gilbert.

Antonio smiled and sat on the couch that was still in front of the door. Tonight was going to be perfect. "What the hell happened to the window?" Asked a very pissed off German.

Antonio smiled and went over to the window where Ludwig was standing... looking like he was going to kill someone. "Alfred smashed the window trying to hunt down Gilbert."

Ludwig face-palmed. "What did he do this time?"

Antonio shrugged. "No idea. But I'm going to borrow the car tonight okay?"

Ludwig nodded. "_Ja_... I'm going to have to call someone to fix this..."

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Antonio was happily humming to himself as Gilbert drove him to Lovino's house. Gilbert had a bruise on his jaw and a small cut across the bridge of his nose. Yep Alfred and managed to catch him and beat him up. "Damn Alfred." Mumbled Gilbert. "Beat the crap out of me for no reason... He's a freaking psycho!"

Antonio laughed and adjusted his tie. "How do I look?"

Gilbert rolled his eyes. "Are you going to ask me that every five fucking minutes? You look fine! Drool worthy! Stop asking me!"

"Okay." Said Antonio happily. "I'm just nervous... What if I screw up? What if I get pasta sauce all over my face? What if I do something stupid?"

Gilbert pulled up in front of Lovino's house and turned to Antonio. "You won't screw up Antonio, you're too awesome to do that. If you get pasta sauce on your face Lovino will tell you because he wouldn't want to be seen in public with an idiot with pasta sauce on his face and seriously Antonio? You do something stupid? That's unheard of!"

Antonio wasn't sure if Gilbert was mocking him or not but he smiled anyway. "Thanks _amigo._" He got out of the car and turned back to Gilbert one more time. "Do I really look okay?"

Gilbert hit his head against the steering wheel. "You. Look. Fine. Stop. Asking. Me. And. Have. A. Good. Time." He growled.

Antonio laughed. "Okay, I'll call when I need a lift." Gilbert nodded and drove off. Antonio grinned and quickly looked down at his cloths. Semi casual attire; white dinner shirt, black dinner pants and a black tie to match... Okay it was border lining casual and formal. He hoped it wasn't too much.

He took a deep breath and walked up to the house. He was about to knock on the door but hesitated. _'Maybe this is a bad idea... Maybe I should call Lovino and tell him I'm sick and reschedule... No if I did that he'd be worried... even if he doesn't show it! Be a man!' _

After giving himself that little mental pep talk he knocked on the door and waited. Feliciano answered the door with a smile on his face. "Antonio! You're here to pick up Lovino right?" He asked.

Antonio nodded. "_Si. _Is he ready to go yet?"

Feliciano shook his head. "Sorry, he'll be done in a second please come in." He opened the door a little wider to let Antonio in, who declined. He wasn't trying to be rude... It was just he could smell the intense aroma of tomatoes and spices from the door. If he went inside he might just go insane because of the intense smell... He only just managed to go into the hospital when Ludwig was there.

"I'll just wait here until he is done. He won't take long right?"

Feliciano nodded but frowned. "I guess... Do you really want to wait-"

"Is the tomato bastard here yet?" Called Lovino from somewhere inside.

"He's at the door Lovi!" Called Feliciano. Antonio could hear a small stream of Italian curses and running from inside. Lovino came into view and pulled his brother inside.

"One moment bastard." He said before closing the door on Antonio's face. Antonio heard Lovino yelling at Feliciano in Italian and Feliciano speaking back in the same tongue. Suddenly the door opened again and Lovino quickly opened the door and closed it behind him.

Antonio couldn't help but smile. Lovino was wearing black dress pants, a red dress shirt and a black tie. To the Spaniard he looked really adorable. Lovino looked at Antonio and frowned. As if to ask what the hell he was looking at.

"I'm looking at you Lovino." Antonio said with a smile.

Lovino blinked a few times in shock. "What the fuck are you? Some kind of mind reader?"

Antonio laughed. "No, that's Francis. Shall we get going?"

Lovino shook his head. "You're insane."

Antonio laughed. "I know, I know."

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

"Rome is a complete bastard." Said Lovino as he took a sip of water (_Damn you age restriction!_). "He only cares about Feliciano. I swear he should have been born first! I'm bloody fuck all compared to him."

"Don't say that about yourself." Said Antonio. "You are amazing. Who cares what your grandfather thinks? Doesn't it matter enough that I love you?" He hated it when Lovino put himself down like that. It was terrible. Every time he met Lovino and got to know him he would always compare himself to his brother. It upset Antonio a lot.

Lovino blushed and mumbled something before eating a tortellini. Antonio smiled and happily ate some of his fettuccini. It was a nice. Just sitting in a semi busy restaurant, eating a nice meal with a sexy Italian.

"Oi bastard." Said Lovino. "Why don't you say something? You haven't seen anything in ages."

Antonio laughed nervously. "Well I'm not sure what to say. Well I was born in... Spain and I moved to America when I was really little. My parents became good friends with Francis and Gilbert's parents. What else do you need to know?"

Lovino thought for a second. "How about why you are living with wine bastard and the potato bastards?"

Antonio smiled sheepishly. He didn't like lying to Lovino but at times like these he had to. After all he had done it many times before. "Well Francis's parents became my god parents and when my parents were murdered I went to live with Francis... Then Francis's parents died in a house fire so we went to live with Gilbert and Ludwig because their parents happened to be Francis's god parents then their parents died in a car crash... Good thing we were receiving money from relatives so we could all live together."

Lovino was wide eyed. "Murdered, burned and a car crash? That's just... shit."

Antonio shrugged. "It's not so bad. I can't remember anything about the murder... I was too young." He twirled his pasta around his fork and looked up at Lovino. He wasn't eating anymore. "Did I say something wrong?"

Lovino shook his head. "It's just... Why the fuck aren't you mad? If I were you I'd hunt down the bastard that did it and kill him... or at least hire a hit man."

Antonio shrugged. "I can't change the past Lovino." He said. "But I can make the future what I want... and I want to be with you forever."

Lovino blushed and looked away. "I can't believe you aren't even a little bit mad."

Antonio shook his head. "You're wrong Lovino. I am mad. Furious at that disgusting murder. I'm just good at hiding it."

Lovino rolled his eyes. "Really? You're about as angry as a hibernating bear in a coma."

Antonio chuckled. "That's funny Lovi. Want to get desert too?"

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Antonio and Lovino were walking back to Lovino's house hand in hand... well Antonio tired the whole hand in hand thing but Lovino jut looked at him funny and moved his hand away. The best he got was walking really close together.

Antonio looked up at the stars and smiled. "Just a few more years and we can see that commit again."

"What commit?" Asked Lovino.

Antonio grinned. "Hayley's commit Lovi. It's really cool. It may just look like a smudge in the sky but it's amazing... Like an eclipse or a red dwarf."

"You really like stars don't you?" Asked Lovino.

Antonio nodded. "They're really cool and one day I want to find a star, or a nebula, or a commit or a nebula and name it after..."

Lovino looked at Antonio. "You realise you said nebula twice? And after what?"

"After you Lovi." Said Antonio. "What do you think about the Lovi nebula?"

Lovino blushed and looked away from Antonio. "Stupid name." He mumbled.

Antonio laughed and pulled Lovino close to him. "I've always thought it was a beautiful name. Which way now?" They were at a fork in the road so to speak. They could continue along the foot path or just take the short cut through an ally way...

Lovino blushed and pushed Antonio away. "Shut up Antonio." He looked at the ally and looked at the foot path. You could see the street light at the other end of the ally and you couldn't see anything along the foot path. The street lights were out. Lovino smiled. "I bet I can make it home before you."

"Oh a bet is it?" Asked Antonio. "Which way do I go?"

"Take the foot path I'll take the ally way. If I make it back to my house before you do you have to name that nebula bastardo!"

Antonio laughed. "Okay it's a bet Lovi! I'll see you soon" Antonio and Lovino quickly took off down their own paths.

As Antonio walked down the foot path his back began to feel hot and tingly. It was an odd sensation that seemed to build up and up. Sweat dripped from his forehead and a sudden sharp pain stabbed through his heart. It was there for a second then gone. Antonio shook his head and blinked a couple of times. "That was weird..."

He brushed it off as just something stupid and let his thoughts wander to the dinner. _'I hope Lovino had a good time. I really think he was happy... Maybe it's the happiest we've been together... Oh no.'_ Antonio turned around and ran back as fast as he could to the ally. _'Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I shouldn't have left him alone! He's going to die!'_

Antonio ran into the ally. He couldn't see Lovino at all. He was starting to panic. _'Where is he? Maybe he's gone home already? Maybe I'm over reacting... That's it I'm just over react-'_

"LET ME GO YOU FUCKING CREEP!"

"Shut up or I'll cut your throat."

Antonio's eyes widened. Lovino was in trouble. Big trouble. He stood in the shadows and quickly and silently waked towards the source of the noise. What he saw mad his face drop; a man wearing a black ski mask was gripping Lovino's hair in one hand and holding a knife to his throat.

Antonio couldn't describe how he was feeling at the moment. He had only ever felt this angry once many, many years ago... when Antonio was still an angel and not a fallen one. His eyes darkened and he stepped out of the shadows. "Get the fuck away from him you prick." He growled.

The man quickly grabbed Lovino and held him in front himself as a human shield. "Get out of here Antonio!" Cried Lovino.

"Didn't I tell you to shut up?" Growled the man as he pressed the knife against Lovino's neck.

"If you fucking cut him..." Growled Antonio. "I'll rip out your heart with my bare hands." Antonio looked at Lovino, he could see how shocked he was and terrified that the usually carefree and happy go lucky Antonio was now acting like a monster. "Didn't you hear me? Cut him and I'll fucking kill you!"

The man looked at Antonio then down at Lovino. He moved the knife away from Lovino's neck and brought it to his face. Almost as if to taunt Antonio the man used the point of the blade to cut a thin red line across Lovino's cheek. "What are you going to do about it?" He heckled.

Antonio gritted his teeth. He had two options; leave and let Lovino die or fight and save Lovino... What would you choose? Antonio lunged at the man who pushed Lovino out of the way.

They hit the ground with a thump. And the knife flew out of the man's hand. It was a quick scrabble to get to their feet to get the knife. Antonio was the first on his feet but was brought quickly down when the man grabbed his legs. Making Antonio smash his jaw into the concrete.

Now the man had the knife and was pulling Antonio towards him. Antonio looked at Lovino who was watching it all unfold before his eyes. He looked horrified. "RUN LOVINO!" Yelled Antonio. "GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

The man grabbed Antonio by the throat and began to strangle him. "You ruined everything." Growled the man. "Why couldn't you have just gone a different way? You stupid idiot!"

Antonio tried to pull the man's hands way from his neck but he was just too strong. Antonio could feel himself slip out of consciousness. _'Damn...' _Thought Antonio. _'I can't die but I can get knocked out... What the hell is this crap? I hope Lovino's okay... I hope he's run away...' _

Suddenly the pressure on his neck was gone and Antonio gasped for breath. He looked up to see a terrified Lovino holding a plank of wood standing over the body of the man. Antonio slowly got to his feet and walked over to Lovino. Tears were beginning to fall from Lovino's eyes. "Damn it bastard." He said to Antonio. "He could have fucking killed you."

"But he would have killed you if I hadn't tried to stop him." Said Antonio as he rubbed his neck. "But you're alive and that's all that matters."

Lovino dropped the plank and hugged Antonio tightly. "Don't do that again you stupid idiot."

Antonio hugged him back. "I'm sorry Lovi. You know that I love you more than anything right?" Lovino didn't say anything he just held Antonio tighter and muttered something into his chest.

Antonio looked back down at the man as he held onto Lovino. He was slowly starting to get to his feet. _'Dose this guy ever give up?'_

When the man was sitting up Antonio quickly whispered to Lovino. "Okay Lovino listen to me careful. The man is still alive. No don't look! Now on the count of three we are going to run as fast as we can okay?" Lovino nodded. "Okay Lovi... One... Two... Three!"

Antonio and Lovino ran as fast as they could out of that ally hand in hand and didn't stop running until they got to Lovino's house. When they got there Antonio began to laugh. "Well that could have gone worse."

"How?" Asked Lovino. "How the fuck could it have been worse?"

"You could have died."

Lovino blushed. "Shut up... How are you getting home?"

"I'm going to call Gilbert." Said Antonio. "He'll get me in a few minutes."

Lovino shook his head. "Like fuck you're calling him. Stay here tonight. You're safer here."

Antonio hugged Lovino. "You do care about me!"

"Shut up!" Snapped Lovino as he pushed Antonio away. "There's a fucking killer and or rapist out there... besides you're here now..."

Antonio smiled. He knew Lovino wanted him to stay with him because he was afraid. "Okay." Said Antonio. Lovino opened the door and they both walked inside.

"My idiot brother and bastard grandfather are asleep by now so be quiet." Hissed Lovino. Antonio nodded.

The first thing Antonio noticed when he entered was that his nose wasn't burning off due to the strong smell of spices... actually he felt... normal... Antonio's eyes widened. His sense of smell was normal... He was normal... His curse was lifted. "I'm free."

"Say something bastard?" Asked Lovino.

Antonio beamed at him and shook his head. "Nothing Lovino. Am I sleeping in your bed with you?"

Lovino blushed a dark shade of red. "What? Fuck no! You get the fucking couch!"

Antonio sighed. He may not have gotten into Lovino's pants tonight, but at least he was finally free.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

The man in the black ski mask sighed and watched his ride pull up. He slowly stumbled toward the car and got into the back seat and pulled of the mask. The driver turned to him and gasped. "Are you okay Eduard?"

Eduard groaned and nodded. "I'm fine Katyusha. Lovino just hit me in the head with a plank of wood... Now I have a splitting head ach."

"Oh no." Said Katyusha. "Should I stop by a drug store and get some pain killers? Or maybe we should just go home. Oh did you manage to kill Lovino?"

Eduard shook his head. "Antonio saved him."

Katyusha gasped. "That's not possible is it? Every other time he was never there! What happened? Is this a sign?"

"I don't know" Said Eduard "... Did Natalia tell you about when she hit Ludwig with the car instead of Feliciano?" Katyusha nodded. "Well... I think the same thing that happened to Ludwig happened to Antonio... He looks like everyone else now."

"Maybe they served their time." Said Katyusha. "Good for them."

**TBC**

* * *

><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>So that's it for this chapter... Hope you all like it and please review ^^


	23. Party time people!

**Shinigami-cat: **I got heaps of awesome feedback from you guys! So here is the next chapter... I OWN NOTHING!

**Party time people!**

_Last Friday night  
>Yeah we danced on tabletops<br>And we took too many shots  
>Think we kissed but I forgot<em>

_Last Friday night_  
><em>Yeah we maxed our credit cards<em>  
><em>And got kicked out of the bar<em>  
><em>So we hit the boulevard<em>

_Last Friday night_  
><em>We went streaking in the park<em>  
><em>Skinny dipping in the dark<em>  
><em>Then had a menage a trois<em>  
><em>Last Friday night<em>  
><em>Yeah I think we broke the law<em>  
><em>Always say we're gonna stop-op<em>  
><em>Whoa-oh-oah<em>

'_Last Friday Night' by Katy Perry_

* * *

><p>Francis was sitting in his bed looking out the window. He knew Antonio was free but he hadn't told anyone else yet because he was afraid of how Gilbert might act. After all he almost flipped it when Ludwig was free. He knew it wasn't his place to say anything but he knew he had to soon or it would just get worse. Francis shook his head to rid himself of those thoughts. It was just sad.<p>

He looked at his bed side table and frowned. Someone had taken all of his razors, rope, poison and that spare knife he always kept around. He had a feeling it was either Ludwig or Antonio. He got up and walked to the window. He pressed his head against the glass and sighed. Maybe it was Gilbert that took his stuff... unlikely... he never seems to have taken a major interest in his life before.

He opened the window and let the breeze roll in. He hadn't jumped off a building in a while. He gripped the frame and was about to jump when the door opened. "Francis. Step away from the window."

Francis turned to see Gilbert standing in the doorway holding a toy gun. Francis sighed and closed the window. "What do you want Gilbert?" He asked.

Gilbert put the toy gun down and grinned. "Antonio put me on suicide watch."

"WHAT?" Cried Francis. "You're the one that took my stuff?"

Gilbert nodded. "That's right. Antonio was really worried about you but since he's probably got a few weeks left before Lovino kicks the bucket I'm looking after you."

Francis clenched his teeth and took a deep breath. "Okay then Gilbert... How are you going to keep me from trying to kill myself again?"

"Glad you asked." Said Gilbert. "Tonight there is a fucking huge party going on at this house I think some guy called Lukas is throwing it or something. Lots of people are going to be there! Great chance to get laid."

Francis shook his head. "I'd rather stay home if you don't mind." He didn't like the idea of getting drunk and shagging some random person just for the hell of it.

Gilbert gasped. "What have you done with the real Francis? The real Francis would never turn down an opportunity to have sex!"

Francis rolled his eyes and sat back down on his bed. "I don't want to have sex with anyone you know? I want to have sex with Arthur! Arthur mother fucking Kirkland!"

Gilbert rolled his eyes and sat next to Francis. "I know, I know... but the way I see it, if you go to the party and have a good time you'll be happier and less emo."

Francis laughed. "Have I really been that bad?"

"If you lived alone your walls would be red by now." Said Gilbert.

"Can't argue there." Said Francis. "Okay I'll go."

"That's what I wanna hear!" Said Gilbert as he fist pumped.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Matthew sighed and pressed his head against the window of Gilbert's car. He didn't really want to go to this party but Gilbert had begged him to come along with him, and well he couldn't resist those puppy dog eyes. So there he was sitting in the front seat next to Gilbert while Gilbert was giving Francis a pep talk.

"What are you going to do?" Asked Gilbert.

"Get wasted!" Cheered Francis.

"Then what?"

"Have sex!"

"And the next day?"

"Try to remember who I screwed last night!"

"And then?"

"I'll try to be more positive!"

"Because?"

"No one like's it when I'm emo!"

"Because?"

"I'm no fun!"

"Sum it up!"

"I'm going to get wasted, have sex, try to remember who I screwed, then I'll be more positive because no one like's it when I'm emo, because I'm no fun!"

"Pep talk over! How are you Matthew?"

"... A little concerned about the reasons why you want Francis to come to this party and a bit confused about why I'm here."

Gilbert laughed. "I want Francis to come to this party so he can let loose and stop being so emo and you're here for two very important reasons; One I love you and two one of us might get wasted and we'll need someone sober to get us home."

Matthew frowned. "You mean me don't you?"

"Of course he does." Laughed Francis. "After all you are his cute little Canadian and he is... well German. If there is even a drop of alcohol he will drink it down with glee and joy."

Gilbert rolled his eyes and parked the car. "Shut up Francis... Just because it's true." Francis got out of the car and laughed.

"See you all later." He said. "I'm going to go have some fun."

As soon as Francis was out of sight Gilbert started the car again. This earned him a confused look from Matthew. Gilbert quickly glanced at Matthew and smiled. "What? This was my awesome plan all along! To get Francis all pumped up and excited about the party, leave him there and have an awesome night at home with you."

"Was that really the plan?" Asked Matthew.

Gilbert frowned. "You doubt my awesomeness... actually don't answer that."

Matthew smiled and looked down. "So it's just going to be us? At your place?"

Gilbert thought for a second. "Let's see... Francis is off at the party, Antonio is going to the movies with Lovino and I'm not sure about Ludwig and Feliciano. You don't mind sharing the house if they do happen to be there right?"

Matthew shook his head. "I don't mind."

"Sweet."

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

"_NO! NO! STAY AWAY FROM ME AHHHH!"_

"_Scream as loud as you want my dear... no one can hear you."_

"_AHHHHHHHHHHH!"_

"AHHHH!" Screamed Feliciano as he buried his face into Ludwig's shoulder. "Why are we watching such a scary movie?"

"I'm sorry." Said Ludwig as he held Feliciano close. "Gilbert just had to choose the movie." He looked over at his brother who was smiling happily as he held Matthew close to him as well.

"What?" Asked Gilbert. "It was either this, a Spanish movie that has no subtitles or a porno. We have a very limited DVD collection." He pulled Matthew onto his lap; he was shivering and tearing up a little. "Maybe we should do something else..."

"Agreed!" Yelped Feliciano and Matthew simultaneously.

Ludwig turned off the TV and ran his fingers through Feliciano's hair in an attempt to sooth him. "Well we don't have any video games or anything like that... but I think we have some board games up in the attic."

"Sweet, let's go check West." Gilbert and Ludwig stood up and walked out of the room.

"Ve! Don't leave us!" Cried Feliciano. "The monster will get us!"

Ludwig sighed and kissed Feliciano's forehead. "As long as I'm alive no monster will ever get you." Feliciano blushed madly and sunk into the chair.

"Same here Birdie." Gilbert gently kissed Matthew's lips. This also made Matthew blush like a school girl and sink into his seat. "Damn you're so cute Mattie. Okay let's go." Once again Gilbert and Ludwig turned to leave the room.

When they were gone Feliciano turned to Matthew and smiled. "I don't think we've met before. I'm Feliciano Vargas. Who are you?"

"... I'm Matthew Williams... Alfred's brother... We've been going to the same school since, well middle school."

Feliciano's eyes widened. "Oh. I'm so sorry! How could I have not known?"

Matthew shrugged. "No one notices me."

Feliciano sat next to Matthew and hugged him... It was damn awkward. "But Gilbert notices you right?"

"Um... yes..."

"Then that's good." Said Feliciano as he pulled away from Matthew. "I think when you find someone who truly loves you, you'll never be unnoticed because the one you love will always be looking out for you."

That was actually some good advice. Sort of. "So how are things with you and Ludwig?"

"Oh their great!" Beamed Feliciano. "We've been more open ever since the... accident... But it's all good."

Matthew frowned. Didn't Feliciano know that Ludwig was a Fallen angel? Well considering that Ludwig wasn't anymore there was no real point in telling him. Suddenly Gilbert ran back into the room, tripped over the couch and face planted the ground.

"Gilbert!" Cried Matthew. "Are you okay?"

Gilbert quickly got to his feet and grinned. "Monopoly." He said. "We found Monopoly!" He pointed to the doorway where Ludwig walked in carrying the box. He had lots of dust on his cloths.

"Ve? What happened Ludwig?" Asked Feliciano.

Ludwig glared at Gilbert. "Someone thought it would be funny if they collected handfuls of dust and throw them at me."

"And I'm right it is funny." Grinned Gilbert. "Now let's play! I'm the race car!"

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

One hour, several hotels and eight go to jails later...

"Um... Birdie?" Asked Gilbert.

Matthew looked at Gilbert and raised an eyebrow. "I'm not lending you any money or letting you pay later."

"OH COME ON!" Cried Gilbert. "LUDWIG GAVE FELICIANO A TRAIN STATION!"

Matthew shrugged. "I own Park Lane and Mayfair. Pay up Gilbert."

Gilbert pouted. "Ludwig lend me 500."

"No."

"WHAT?" Gasped Gilbert. "My own brother wants me cast out into the street! Moneyless! Poor! Not even a shirt on my back!"

"Yep." Said Ludwig as he went back to counting his money.

"... Lend me 500 Feli."

"Ve, I would..." Said Feliciano. "But Ludwig told me not to."

"IT'S A CONSPIRACY!" Yelled Gilbert. "A DAMN CONSPIRACY! YOU'RE ALL AGAINST ME!" He folded his arms and pouted. "Is there any way I can pay you back another way?"

Matthew looked over his cards. "Sex is not a form of currency in Monopoly Gilbert. I don't care how many times you say it is."

"IT IS IN SOME VERSION!" Yelled Gilbert. "I QUIT DAMN IT!" He got up and stormed out of the room in frustration. He was so childish sometimes.

Ludwig sighed. "Well at least he didn't attempt to destroy the board this time. Maybe we should call it a night."

"It's only eleven." Said Matthew.

Ludwig shrugged. "It's late... and Feli is starting to fall asleep." It was true, Feliciano was starting nod off. Suddenly Matthew's phone started to ring. He excused himself and walked into the hall.

"Hello?"

"**Matthew? Thank god!" **Cried a panicked voice.

"Alfred? What's wrong?" He asked. If it was Alfred, and he was panicking there was obviously something wrong.

"**I went to this party... and then Iggy and I got into a fight... Then we were driving home together because we took the same car and then..."**

"What? What happened?" Matthew asked. Now he was starting to panic.

"**We were in a car crash..."**

"A CAR CRASH?" Yelled Matthew. "ARE YOU OKAY? WHERE ARE YOU?"

"**I'm okay Mattie... just a couple of stitches. Arthur is fine too... worst he got was a chipped tooth... But dad is going to kill me."**

"What?"

"**The car's at the bottom of a lake."**

"... You crashed into a lake?"

"**I know. I'm an idiot. But you're with Gilbert now right?"**

"Yes?"

"**Well you might want to get him to drop you off at the hospital because... Francis is here too."**

"FRANCIS IS AT THE HOSPITAL TOO?"

"**Quit shouting. Yes he's here... I think he just got out of surgery. I'll explain everything later. Just pick me up please?"**

"Sure. I'll be right there." Matthew hung up the phone and ran back into the lounge room. "I need to get to the hospital! Alfred's there and Arthur and Francis! I think they were involved in a car accident!"

Gilbert picked up the car keys. "Let's roll Birdie." Matthew nodded and followed Gilbert. "Stay home Ludwig and tell Antonio what's up when and if he gets home tonight."

**TBC**

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><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>CLIFF HANGER! Please review!


	24. Francis saves a life

**Shinigami-cat: **... I'm going to plug my other stories right here... 'The psycho children of Fever Lake' and 'Truth or Dare Beotch'... I OWN NOTHING!

**Francis saves a life**

_I hate everything about you  
>Why do I love you?<br>You hate everything about me  
>Why do you love me?<em>

_I hate_  
><em>You hate<em>  
><em>I hate<em>  
><em>You love me<em>

_I hate everything about you_  
><em>Why do I love you?<em>

'_I hate Everything About You' by Three Days Grace_

* * *

><p>Francis swallowed his twelfth shot for the night and grabbed a beer. He leaned against the wall to soaked up the atmosphere and have a look around; people were dancing on table tops, there were some girls doing shots, people grinding up against each other, some people vomiting into bins and flower pots, people were getting pushed into pools and people were making out with each other in the halls. Francis loved it.<p>

He chugged down his can and put it at the top of a pyramid that someone had made out of beer cans. He happily walked into the hallway and managed to bump into someone. "Sorry." He slurred.

"Watch where you're going aru!" Snapped the man he bumped into. Francis shook his head and blinked a couple of times. There in front of him was a Chinese man with his long hair tied back in a phoney tail.

"Yao? Is that you?" Asked Francis.

Yao's eyes widened. "Francis? What are you doing here?"

Francis laughed. "I'm one of the Fallen remember? I think the real question is what are you doing here?"

Yao rolled his eyes. "I actually passed my test and became a guardian aru. I'm working."

Francis frowned. "Who are you looking after?"

Yao pointed towards a Japanese boy who was talking to a Korean boy. "His name is Honda Kiku."

"Kiku hu?" Asked Francis with a smirk. "Maybe I should get to know him better."

"Stay away from him aru." Snapped Yao. "Do you want to give him AIDS?"

Francis gasped. "AIDS? You think I'd give him something like that? That's just mean."

Yao rolled his eyes again. "Just don't interfere with him okay aru?"

Francis laughed. "Okay Yao. I won't touch him. How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Not fall in love with them." Said Francis. "They're so pretty."

Yao shrugged. "I just don't see them like how you do I guess. I see them more as animals, like puppies and kittens."

Francis laughed. It was such a strange way of putting things. "Always nice to talk to. Have fun Yao!" He turned and walked into the kitchen. Why? To grab more beer! He grabbed one out of the fridge and walked back into the hallway; more random people making out with each other. Francis chuckled and walked upstairs where it was less crowded.

Somehow he managed to find his way onto a baloney that over looked the backyard. Francis looked down on the people in the backyard and laughed. He loved being higher than everyone else. It made him feel powerful or at least a little better about his whole situation.

"I'm king of the freaking world!" He cried out, before dropping his beer off the edge. But he didn't notice at all. Instead he leaned against the railing and sighed. Gilbert was right. He really needed to go to this party. Let loose. Get wasted. Have fun.

"Bloody wanka!" Cried a voice. Francis looked down and sighed. Arthur and Alfred were at the party too. They were talking in the backyard and Arthur looked pissed.

Francis frowned and tilted his head. He couldn't hear what they were saying but he could tell that it was bad. Arthur's eyebrows were twitching the way that they do when he gets really pissed off. Francis laughed. "I remember that look. So damn cute. Maybe he'll break Alfred's nose! That'll be the day! If he doesn't end up with Alfred he'll end up with someone else and then bam! They'll both die. Arthur and his lover... stupid curse... Where's my beer?"

He shrugged and went back to watching Alfred and Arthur. He felt like he was going to be sick. They were making out on the lawn! Full on tongue down each-others throat's. Francis's jaw slackened. After their brief make out session Alfred and Arthur walked off hand in hand.

"What the hell was that crap?" He said. "Seriously what is this? And where the hell is my beer? Screw this I'm going home!" He turned on his heels, walked into a glass door, opened said glass door and stormed down the stairs. He successfully tripped over five people and an empty keg on his way.

He spotted Yao talking to Kiku in the kitchen. Kiku seemed upset about something but he couldn't tell what it was about. Francis shrugged and walked into the door frame and cursed loudly in French. Tonight was not his night.

"You okay aru?" Asked Yao. Francis nodded and struggled to get to his feet.

"I'm heading home. Had too much." He slurred.

"Would you like a lift home Francis kun?" Asked Kiku. "Yao and I were about to leave anyway."

"Lead the way." Said Francis... before walking into the doorway again...

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Francis was sitting in the back of Kiku's car looking out the window. Kiku still seemed upset about something so Francis being Francis decided to read his mind to see what was up.

'_I didn't even get to see Alfred-kun tonight... Not that it would matter if I did see him. He would have been hanging all over Arthur kun anyway.'_

Francis raised an eyebrow. So Kiku had a crush on Alfred. Cute. Francis sighed and watched the houses and trees fly by at a rapid pace. Suddenly Yao slammed on the brakes causing both Kiku and Francis to yelp out in shock.

"What the hell?" Asked Francis.

"Did you just see that aru?" Asked Yao. "A car just drove into the lake!"

Francis got out of the car and looked at the bridge. It was no more than ten meters away; the railing was ripped apart and you could still see the cars headlights as it sank into the water. Francis ran over to the bridge and looked down. The lake was pretty deep. He turned to Kiku and Yao who had run over to where he was standing.

"Yao call an ambulance." Instructed Francis. As Yao did that Francis turned to Kiku. "I hope you can swim." Kiku nodded and too off his jacket. Francis and Kiku dived into the cold almost black water.

It was freezing and so dark but they could still see the cars lights. Francis quickly glanced at Kiku who was heading for the driver's side of the car. Francis quickly swam around to the passenger's side of the car and his eyes widened. There in the car was Arthur and Alfred. They were both out cold.

Francis attempted to open the door but it wouldn't budge. He looked over at Kiku who was kicking in the driver's side window to get Alfred out. That gave Francis an idea. He raised his fist and punched the windscreen as hard as he could. It cracked a little but didn't break. Francis continued to punch it until he was able to pull glass fragments out. It cut his hands terribly but he didn't care.

By the time he had made a hole big enough to get inside to pull out Arthur he noticed that Kiku was having trouble getting Alfred's seat belt off. He reached over and quickly undid it before going back to save Arthur.

He managed to pull him out but now he had to swim back to the surface with him. It wasn't too difficult. He surfaced and slowly swam to the lakes edge where Kiku was trying to revive Alfred. When he got back on dry land he put Arthur on the ground and checked for any signs of life; his pulse was weak, he was freezing cold and he wasn't breathing.

Francis wasn't thinking. He acted on impulse. He grabbed Arthur' noses and forced air into his lungs, only pulling back to apply pressure to his chest. Yep Francis was performing CPR. Anything to get Arthur to breathe again.

Suddenly Francis's body froze; sharp stabbing pains ran up his back and twisted around his heart and an unbearable heat washed over him. It was there for a second and then gone. He shook his head and went back to the task at hand. Saving Arthur.

He performed CPR one last time before Arthur coughed up all the water in his system and rolled over. "Bloody hell..." He murmured. "What happened?"

Francis chuckled. That was such an Arthur thing to say. "You were in a car crash love and now you're alright. Try not to move. Is Alfred okay Kiku?"

Kiku looked over at Francis. "Alfred kun is fine. He's starting to wake up now and what happened to you Francis!" Cried Kiku in alarm. "You're bleeding!"

Francis looked down at himself and gasped. There was a large shared of glass sticking out of his guts. "Damn..." He said. "Must have impaled myself when I pulled Arthur out." He looked up and Kiku and smiled. "I'll be fine... It's just some blood." Francis began to feel dizzy and collapsed. He could feel his blood slowly dribble out of his side and onto the grass. He could here sirens in the background and his vision became blurred. "Am I dying?"

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Francis opened his eyes and groaned. He was in a white room. "I was just kidding." He muttered. He tried to sit up but yelped out in pain. He looked down at himself and saw that he was sitting in a hospital bed of some kind. He lifted the covers and moved his hospital gown around to see he had several ugly stitches across his abdomen. "Well at least I'm not dead."

"You're a bloody idiot." Snapped a voice. Francis turned to see Arthur sitting next to him with a magazine in his lap. Francis jumped.

"When did you get here?"

Arthur rolled his eyes. "After the doctors gave me a once over they let me go and I decided to stay here." He huffed.

Francis tilted his head. "Wouldn't you want to be with Alfred?"

"Why would I?" Asked Arthur as he flipped through the magazine. "We broke up ten seconds before we crashed."

Francis looked at Arthur with wide eyes. They broke up? How? Why? "You broke up?"

"Are you deaf?" Growled Arthur. "Of course we broke up... Damn git... We... I... Idiot." Arthur had broken down completely. He was crying uncontrollably and shaking. "Damn it... Stupid... Stupid..."

Francis shifted slightly suppressing the urge to scream in pain and placed a hand on Arthur's back. "There, there Arthur. He doesn't deserve you. You can always get someone a million times better than him."

Arthur looked up at Francis with tear stained eyes. "Why did you save me?"

Francis smiled. "Because I don't want to live in a world without you... Besides I've always loved you."

Arthur blushed and wiped away his tears. "Damn you Francis. I bloody hate you."

"Then why are you still here?"

"Because I... I..." Arthur was stuck for words. "I bloody love you too you stupid git." New tear began to fall down his face. Francis so desperately wanted to wipe them away, hold him close and never let anything bad happen to him again... but that would have to wait until Francis could freely move again. He had to settle for running his fingers through the Brit's hair.

"Don't cry Arthur." He cooed. "It's okay. I'm here and I won't ever leave you."

Arthur dried his eyes and stood up. "What do we do now?" He asked.

"Well." Said Francis. "You could start by going out with me when I'm better."

Arthur blushed a dark shade of red. "... Stupid git." He turned and walked out of the room. Francis smiled.

"See you in a few weeks love." He called. He sighed. Arthur had finally agreed to go out with him and that meant that he was free... The realization hit him like a ton of bricks.

He was free. He had to be. He closed his eyes and concentrated on trying to read the thoughts of someone, anyone but all he got was static and a head ach. He was definitely free. It was both exciting and terrifying at the same time.

Suddenly the door flew open and in ran Gilbert. "Holy shit Francis what happened to my awesome plan?" He asked. "I don't think getting into a car crash was part of it."

Francis looked up at Gilbert and then at the window. "Gilbert." He said calmly. "Arthur agreed to go out with me."

"Well good for you Francis." Said Gilbert. "Now about the plan-"

"I don't think you understand." Said Francis. "Listen to me careful. Arthur Kirkland. The man I love more than anything in this world. The same man who could never go out with me because he was cursed to hate me and die with his new lover. Agreed to go out with me."

There was an eerie silence as Gilbert processed what he had just been told. "You're free too?"

Francis nodded. "I'm sorry Gilbert... Antonio is free too."

"So you're telling me that I'm the only one left?" He growled.

"Yes." Said Francis. "I'm so sorry Gilbert... We never intended it to happen now but we are definitely not sorry for being free."

"Well... I guess all I can say is... good for you guys." Said Gilbert cheerfully.

Francis looked back at Gilbert with a shocked expression. Shouldn't he be screaming and throwing things about by now? "What I don't understand Gilbert..."

"What's there to understand?" Asked Gilbert. "You're free. I'm happy for you."

Francis shook his head. "No this isn't right. You should be screaming, jumping up and down... Not congratulating me."

Gilbert shrugged and leaned against the wall. "Why wouldn't I be happy for you? You, Antonio and Ludwig all deserve to be free. I mean after all it must have been awful to watch Arthur reject you and run off with another man. To watch your lover die horribly. To turn your back for a second only to discover that they died. Then there' me... Matthew and I fall madly in love every time we meet and I end up killing him... over and over again. Yet I'm not free yet."

"That's not fair Gilbert." Said Francis. Gilbert held his hand up to silence him.

"Don't get all pissy at me Francis." He said. "I'm just stating the facts. I've been forced to kill Matthew in ways that would even make Hannibal cringe in disgust, or make Jack the ripper turn as white as a freaking ghost. Yet here I am. Still cursed."

Francis shook his head, "I'm sorry Gilbert. If I knew how to help you break the curse I would but I don't know how to."

Gilbert chuckled darkly. "Don't worry about me Francis. I got a plan. I'll be free before New Year's Eve if it all goes to plan."

Francis tilted his head in confusion. "What are you talking about?" Gilbert laughed again and turned to leave.

"Never you mind Francis." He said. "I'll tell Antonio and West to visit you tomorrow, but I have to go now. Matthew and I are giving Alfred a lift home."

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Toris sighed. He was sitting in a tree with a pair of binoculars and a knife. He had watched the whole thing unfold; the crash, the rescue and ambulance. He didn't understand why it didn't work. He had cut the brake line in Alfred's car and even let the air out of the front tire. If that couldn't cause a near fatal crash nothing would.

He climbed out of the tree and got back into the car where Raivis was waiting patiently. Toris climbed into the front seat and started the car. "Hope you weren't waiting too long." He said.

Raivis shook his head. "It's fine. So is Arthur and what's his face dead?"

Toris shook his head. "Francis managed to save Arthur."

Raivis's eyes widened. "How is that possible? It's just like what happened with Antonio and Ludwig! This is bad! Ivan's going to be so mad at us!"

Toris shook his head. "No Ivan won't be mad at us... We haven't done anything wrong."

"But what if he decides it's our fault!"

"He won't." Said Toris. "Besides... he doesn't really care about them... he only cares about Gilbert."

Raivis shivered. "Ivan's been really... obsessed with him lately hu?"

Toris smiled weakly. "But at least he leaves us alone now."

Raivis laughed a little. "It's nice... but what do you think is going to happen in the end?"

Toris shrugged. "I don't really know. I just hope we all get out of this unscathed."

**TBC**

* * *

><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>YAY next chapter is done! REVIEW IT NOW!


	25. Chocking out cries of sorrow

**Shinigami-cat: **Next chapter yay! You are all supportive! B.T.W Bella is Belgium. Well... I OWN NOTHING!

**Choking out cries of sorrow**

_What's happening to me? I'm dying from the inside  
>Body hurts too much to feel<br>Pressure adds the pain deliver us from evil  
>Straying out of sanity<em>

_Why can't you let me be? Is nothing else important?_  
><em>Does my mind mean more to you?<em>  
><em>'Cause if I carry on deliver us from evil<em>  
><em>Screaming for your vanity<em>

'_Deliver us from Evil' by Bullet for my Valentine_

* * *

><p>Bella slowly opened her eyes. She was dizzy, still experiencing the effects of whatever drug she was in injected with. It just wasn't her day; first of all she spilt her coffee all over her carpet, then she got to work late, then there was that drunken man that kept trying to grab her ass and then on her way home she got attacked by some random guy and ended up somewhere.<p>

It didn't take her long to realize that she was upside down and strapped to a table. She looked around the room and frowned. The walls seemed to be made of rusty metal, there were chains and hooks on the roof so to sum it up... Bella was screwed.

She sighed and let her head fall back. "Well... kinkier shit's happened to me." And why wouldn't it? After all she was a stripper. She probably met some creepy cashed up guy that wanted to have sex and she just couldn't remember because of the drug or something... It wouldn't have been the first time.

The door to the room creaked open and a man walked in. He was wearing a black hoodie and talking on his phone. "I told you!" He growled. "Stop calling me! I'm getting it already... Yes... Shut up... I know... GO TO HELL!" He turned off his phone and threw it against the wall. The man took a deep breath and looked over at Bella. "Oh... you're awake... Didn't realize that I was on the phone for that long..."

Bella frowned. "What the hell?" She asked. "Why the hell did you tie me up and take me to this dump? Do you have some weird fetish or something?"

The man was taken aback by this statement. He shook his head and sat against the wall. "You know that someone was murdered here about eighty years ago?"

Bella pouted. This weirdo was sick... taking her to the scene of a murder to have sex. That was just plain sick. "Nope."

The man sighed and removed his hood to revile his red eyes, paper white skin and silver hair. "He was butchered to death. Right over there" He pointed to a stain on the floor that was darker than the rest of the place. "He still hasn't been identified you know... Sad isn't it? How could someone just disappear like that without a trace? No one remembering he even existed... It was a week before they found his body..." He rested his head in his hands and sobbed.

Bella sighed and turned away from him. He obviously had some weird issues he needed to work out. "So... Why am I here again?"

The silver haired man got up. "Right... shouldn't get distracted... I'm Gilbert by the way."

"Bella." She responded. Gilbert nodded and walked out of the room.

"Be back in a second. Just got to get some thing's okay." He walked out of the room and came back with a large bucket and a lead jar. "This should do the trick." He walked over to Bella and positioned the bucket under her head.

"What's that for?" She asked.

Gilbert looked into her eyes. "I'm sorry... but it's to catch the blood."

Bella's eyes went wide. "Wait what?"

Gilbert sighed and pulled out a sliver knife. "I'm sorry Bella..." He said. "If I could I would let you go... but he won't let me..." He pressed the blade against her neck.

Tears began to swell in her eyes. "Please..." She sobbed. "Please don't do this Gilbert."

Gilbert hesitated. "The same..." He murmured. "That's just what he said before I hacked off his head... and turned him into a mangled pile of meat." He sighed and whispered to her. "I'm sorry... if I don't kill you I can't save him..." He pressed the blade against her neck and slit her throat in one swift motion.

Bella coughed and spluttered as the hot, metallic liquid rolled down the back of her neck and hit the bucket. All the while Gilbert held onto her hand and whispered apologies into her ear. Soon her eyes dulled and rolled into the back of her head. Bella was dead.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Gilbert sighed and poured the blood into the lead jar. Every time he did this it made him feel sick. Once the blood had been collected he picked up his phone. He was amazed that it was still working. He called the first person on his contacts.

"**Hello?"**

"Hi... I finished the job... I need a lift."

"**Oh okay. I'll be there in a minute."**

Gilbert nodded and hung up the phone. He looked over at Bella and sighed. He walked over to her closed her eyes. She deserved some dignity. He picked up the jar and walked out the door. Last time he was here Matthew had died horribly. It wasn't the most horrific way he had died but it was up there.

He walked through the warehouse and his mind wandered back into dark thoughts. _'He would never forgive me would he? If he knew... He would hate me so much...' _He looked at the metal crates that were still there even after all those years. He stopped and ran his fingers along a dent on the corner of the crate. He had made that mark so many years ago.

"Oh Matthew..." He sighed. "I'm so sorry." The pain he felt inside his chest was almost unbearable. The pain and guilt and sorrow he felt was slowly eating away at him. Was it really right for him to kill all those people?

He quickly made his way outside and waited for his ride. A black car pulled up and flashed its lights. Gilbert quickly got into the back. He immediately regrated it. "What the hell are you doing here Ivan?"

Ivan smirked and taped the driver's seat, telling Toris to drive. Which he did. "I wanted to see how you were going Gilbert."

Gilbert scowled. "Fuck you Ivan." He spat. "Here's you jar." He pushed the jar into his hands, folded his arms and glared at him. Ivan happily took the jar and laughed.

"You look so cute like that." He put the jar in a bag and tossed it into the front seat. He leaned back into his seat and looked up at the roof. "So... I heard Francis is in the hospital... Impaled on a piece of car wind screen."

"How the fuck do you know about that?" He hissed.

Ivan giggled. "Oh... you know... I know everything that goes on around here Gilbert." He looked over at Gilbert. He looked pissed but kept his mouth shut. "If you have something to say you may as well say it now."

Gilbert starred at him with a murderous look. "I fucking hate you so much. You made me kill her and for what? HER BLOOD! YOU ARE JUST SICK! WHY DO YOU EVEN NEED IT?"

Ivan laughed. "Kolkolkol. That was the deal. Seven lives and I can free you from your curse and you've only killed five so far. It's either that or you can go back to solving that riddle."

Gilbert grabbed Ivan's scarf. "YOU SON OF A BITCH! THAT RIDDLE IS IMPOSSIBLE! NO ONE CAN SOLVE IT! NO ONE CAN-"

Gilbert was silenced when Ivan slapped him. In Gilbert's momentary state of shock, Ivan used one hand to grab Gilbert's jaw and his other hand to hold his wrists. He forced Gilbert to look into his eyes. "Listen carefully to what I have to say Gilbert." He said in a calm voice. Gilbert shook his head quickly and shut his eyes. This wouldn't do at all. "Pull over Toris." He hissed. "Then get out for five minutes... Gilbert and I need a little talk."

Toris did as he was told and Gilbert was left alone with Ivan. Ivan quickly moved his hands to Gilbert's neck and squeezed. Gilbert's eyes snapped open and he clawed at Ivan's hands. "Can't... breathe..." He chocked out.

Ivan smiled sweetly down at him. "Look at me while I'm talking and maybe I'll loosen my grip da."

Gilbert nodded quickly and Ivan let him go. Gilbert gasped and coughed. "Fuck you." He croaked.

Ivan giggled. "So now that that's over with... you are going to listen to me da?"

"Yes I'll fucking listen."

"And look into my eyes while I'm talking?"

Gilbert froze. "No."

"What was that?" Asked Ivan. "I didn't quite hear you."

"I said I'll listen to you but I won't look at you."

Ivan sighed in frustration. Gilbert was being difficult and it was frustrating him a lot. "Do you really want to start this again?" He growled. "Don't you think Matthew would get suspicious if you turned up missing an eye da?"

Gilbert glared at Ivan. "You wouldn't dare."

"Try me."

Gilbert had no choice but to listen and give into what Ivan wanted. He looked into Ivan's purple eyes and gulped. "What do you want to talk about?"

Ivan smirked. "Okay then. Now look into my eyes and listen to my voice. You are calm now... completely relaxed. Your eye lids are getting heavy but you won't fall asleep." Gilbert yawned, sunk back into his seat but never broke his eye contact with Ivan. "Now listen closely Gilbert... You won't ever speak to me like that again. You won't touch my scarf again. You won't question why you are collecting blood for me again. You will go home and forget about it. Forget about it all."

Gilbert nodded and yawned. "'kay Ivan."

Ivan smiled. He loved it when Gilbert was obedient. "Okay Gilbert. Now that we've got that sorted go to sleep." Gilbert yawned and fell onto Ivan's lap asleep. Ivan laughed and rolled down the window. "Toris you can come back now. We settled our disagreement."

Toris nodded and quickly got back into the car. He glanced into the backseat and sighed. "You didn't did you?" He asked.

Ivan glared at Toris. "You have a problem with me using a little bit of hypnosis?"

Toris gulped and shook his head. "No Ivan. Of course not Ivan."

"Good." Said Ivan. "Keep driving." He looked down at Gilbert and stroked his soft silver hair. "If you just listened a little I wouldn't have to do this to you." Gilbert mumbled something in his sleep. Ivan giggled. Gilbert was just too cute. He knew he shouldn't have pulled Gilbert away from his family but he was bored but needed something to entertain himself, and Gilbert was always entertaining. "Hm... wonder if he's going to end up with a bruise on his neck?"

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

"Mattie! Make me some pancakes!" Whined Alfred. Matthew looked at him and rolled his eyes. Only Alfred could be in a car crash and complain about pancakes the next day.

"It's the middle of the day Alfred." Said Matthew. "Why don't you just go out to McDonalds and get a burger."

Alfred pouted. "But I want pancakes and I want them now!"

"Well I can't make you pancakes now I'm waiting for-"

"THE AWESOME ME IS HERE!" Called Gilbert as he walked through the front door. "I want pancakes!" He walked into the kitchen wearing a pair of jeans, a jacket and a scarf.

"Don't boss my brother around." Growled Alfred.

Gilbert crossed his arms and frowned. "Shouldn't you be in bed or something?"

Alfred looked like he was going to kill someone. "I'LL KILL YOU!"

Matthew sighed. "Can you go one day without trying to kill Gilbert?"

Alfred folded his arms and pouted. "I can't help it that he pisses me off all the time."

"Just go to McDonalds Alfred." Sighed Matthew. Alfred pouted but left anyway. He didn't really want to be in the same room as that albino and a burger was starting to sound really good.

When Alfred was gone Gilbert pulled Matthew into a hug and kissed him sweetly, making the blond blush. "So how's Francis?" He asked.

Gilbert sighed. "Well last night he told me that both he and Antonio are free. Meaning that I'm the only one left."

"Oh! I'm sorry to hear that..." Said Matthew. "But what's with the scarf?"

Gilbert shrugged. "I just wanted to wear a scarf today. How are you?"

Matthew smiled. "I'm good. So did you want some pancakes?"

Gilbert grinned. "Yep! Can you make strawberry today?"

Matthew went over to the fridge and frowned. "You're out of luck today. How about choc mint or caramel?"

Gilbert shrugged. "I don't mind. Just as long as you make it." He sat down on the bench. "Can I watch?"

Matthew nodded. "Sure. Can you pass me that apron?" He pointed to a chair with a pink apron on it. Gilbert picked it up and raised an eyebrow.

"Really? Pink?" He asked.

Matthew went bright red. "Alfred got it for me as a joke present when I was twelve." He took it out of Gilbert's hands and put it on. He felt really self-conscious about himself now.

Gilbert laughed and poked Matthew's face. "You look really cute in that Birdie... Ever think about wearing a maids dress? I'm sure I could nick one out of Francis's closet."

Matthew's eyes widened. "WHAT? Why does he have a maids dress in his closet?"

Gilbert chuckled. "They aren't his. They're actually Antonio's."

"WHAT?"

"And by Antonio's I mean that belonged to Lovino. Antonio has some weird maid fetish. But since Francis has the biggest closet Antonio reluctantly relinquished his dresses to Francis, on the condition he wouldn't touch them."

Matthew didn't know what to say... that was more than he ever needed or wanted to know about Antonio's sex life. So he turned his attention back to making pancakes. Every now and then he would ask Gilbert to pass him something and he would... about five minutes later.

Matthew put the whisk down and sighed. It was taking way to long. He would have finished by now. He looked at Gilbert who was playing with his scarf, like it was the most interesting thing in the world. "Is there something wrong Gilbert?"

Gilbert shook his head. "I don't think so. Why do you ask?"

Matthew shrugged. "You just seem distracted. Do you want to see Francis?"

Gilbert shook his head. "I'm just a little tired. That's all. I couldn't get to sleep after I dropped you and Alfred off last night. I'm just a bit sleepy. I couldn't sleep until about three... maybe four..." Gilbert yawned and took off his jacket. "Damn I'm still tired."

Matthew sighed. "Come on... let's go to my room. You can sleep there." Gilbert grinned and followed Matthew up to his room.

When they got there Gilbert fell onto the bed and sighed. "I love this mattress. Way softer than mine." Matthew smiled and sat next to Gilbert. He pulled off his scarf and froze. There were purple marks on his neck... almost like he had rope tied around his neck, but the marks were too wide. Gilbert tilted his head in confusion. "What's wrong?"

"What happened to your neck?" Asked Matthew. Gilbert frowned and ran his fingers over his neck.

"Honestly I can't for the life of me remember." He said. "I kind of woke up with this. Maybe I did something weird when I was sleeping." He looked up at Matthew and smiled. "But it's no big deal right? It's not serious."

"If it's not serious then why were you hiding it?" Asked Matthew.

Gilbert shrugged. "I just didn't think it was that important and I didn't want you to worry about it."

"How can I not worry about it?" Asked Matthew. "You look like you were strangled!"

Gilbert held up his hands in defence. "I promise you Matthew. I wasn't strangled nor did I attempt suicide... honestly that's more of a Francis thing."

Matthew sighed. "Okay Gilbert... I believe you. Just go to sleep and I'll wake you up when the pancakes are ready."

Gilbert hugged Matthew and kissed him softly. "Thanks Birdie."

Matthew sighed and left the room. When he was gone Gilbert laid down and looked up at the roof. He ran his fingers over the bruise on his neck and yawned. _'Man I'm tired... How did I get this bruise anyway? Think Gilbert... What happened last night? Let's see... I dropped Matthew and Alfred home, when home, talked to Ludwig and Feliciano, went to bed, Ivan called me up for a job... I killed a girl... Tori picked me up and Ivan... said something? Maybe?' _

Gilbert sighed. He really couldn't remember what Ivan had done to him or even if Ivan was even there. All he knew is that he was really tired. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep, but not too deeply. After all Matthew was making pancakes.

* * *

><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Shinigami-cat: **Another chapter down the drain. Review? Maybe? Please?


	26. Stop defiling my brother!

**Shinigami-cat: **So let's see... The main reason this chapter is here is for two reasons, I think that this chapter needs to be slightly smutty to have the rating of M and I was board... This is my first time writing something like this so be nice... I OWN NOTHING!

**Stop defiling my brother!**

_Well, you're a hot mess and I'm falling for you  
>And I'm like hot damn! let me make you my boo<br>Cause you can shake it shake it shake it  
>Yeah you know what to do<br>You're a hot mess  
>I'm loving it-hell yes!<em>

'_Hot mess' by Cobra Starship_

* * *

><p>Matthew sighed. Making pancakes for Gilbert had failed miserably... since his brother came back when he was in the bathroom... and Gilbert happened to get bored waiting for his pancakes and decided to walk out of Matthew's room... just as Alfred walked past. Let's just say the last thing Matthew heard before opening the bathroom door was conversation that went something like this.<p>

"DIE YOU SON OF BITCH!"

"WELL THIS IS ONE HELL OF A WAY TO WAKE UP!"

"DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!"

"WHERE THE HELL DID HE GET THE GUN FROM?"

"DIE YOU ALBINO FREAK!"

"HOLY SHIT!"

"THAT'T WHAT YOU GET FOR DEFILING MY BROTHER!"

So Matthew had to save Gilbert by crash tackling Alfred and taking the gun off him. Turns out it was a water gun decked out to look like a sniper, from Kiku of course.

So Matthew ended up at Gilbert's room begging for his forgiveness. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Gilbert sighed and patted Matthew's head. "It's not your fault. Alfred's just... how do I put it nicely? Bat shit crazy insane."

Matthew blushed and looked down at his feet. "I'm sorry. Really I am..."

"Don't sweat it." Said Gilbert. "Maybe you should come over here more often. That way I wouldn't get chased out of your house every time."

"I'm sorry."

Gilbert rolled his eyes and pulled Matthew into a hug. "I told you to forget about it... hum..." Gilbert rested his chin on Matthew's head, took a deep breath and blew on Matthew's curl.

Matthew gasped and shuddered. "What are you doing?"

"Conducting a scientific experiment." He said. "I'm testing how strong the wind needs to be before you get an erection." He blew a little harder on the curl.

"Maple! That's not cool Gilbert." Whined Matthew as he tried to wriggle out of Gilbert's arms.

"Quit squirming Birdie." Said Gilbert with a sly grin on his face. "If you keep moving I'll have to start all over again." He tried to lean closer to Matthew's stray curl to blow on it again but Matthew moved his head and Gilbert ended up with the curl in his mouth.

Matthew froze and looked into Gilbert's eyes. He looked about a shocked as him but he quickly got over that and smirked at Matthew. "Maple."

Gilbert twirled the curl around his tongue and sucked hard. Matthew moaned and shuddered. Gilbert grinned and moved away from Matthew's curl to his lips. It was gentle first, but soon Gilbert was licking and nibbling Matthew's bottom lip asking for entrance which Matthew willingly gave to him.

Their tongues battled briefly for dominance but Gilbert easily won. They shared a few open mouthed kisses before Gilbert pushed Matthew back onto his bed.

Matthew looked up at Gilbert, eyes half lidded, panting slightly and a light blush dusted his face. Gilbert chuckled and pulled off his jacket and crawled over to Matthew and kissed his neck. Matthew moaned softly.

Gilbert smirked against his skin and pulled off Matthew's shirt. He took a second to look down at the cute Canadian. He just looked so sexy. He leaned down and too one of Matthew's nipples into his mouth and sucked. "Hnngg... Ah! Gilbert." Moaned Matthew. He arched his back off the mattress. Gilbert pulled away and moved on to the next one giving it the same treatment.

When they were both red and hard Gilbert trailed kisses down his torso to the hem of his pants. Gilbert made short work of them, throwing them across the room, leaving Matthew in his red boxers. There was an obvious bulge but Gilbert wasn't going to give him what he wanted just yet. He moved his knee in between Matthew's legs and grinded into his crotch.

Matthew through his head back and moaned loudly. "Gil... St... Stop teasing me. Ah!" He bucked his hips up. Gilbert chuckled and pulled off Matthew's boxers revealing his twitching cock. Gilbert looked up at Matthew. His face was almost blood red he was blushing so much. It was so cute.

"Something wrong?" He asked.

"Too many cloths." Matthew mumbled. Gilbert looked down at himself and chuckled. He was still fully clothed. He pulled of his shirt but left his singlet on which earned him a questioning look from the blond. "I don't want you touching my scars and passing out or dying halfway through."

Once that was explained Gilbert pulled off his jeans and went back to pleasuring his lover. He ran his fingers over the head and pressed his thumb into the slit. He could feel the Canadian writhe in pleasure underneath him.

Gilbert could feel little droplets of pre-cum start to slicken his fingers. He moved his hand away earning a disappointed sigh from the blond. Gilbert moved over to the side table and he opened a drawer. He pulled a tube of lube and coated his fingers. He circled the Canadians entrance with one of his fingers. Matthew shivered.

"I'm not going to lie Matthew." Said Gilbert in a sexy low voice. "It'll feel weird and it'll probably hurt but it's worth it... But if it hurts too much I'll stop." Matthew nodded and Gilbert pushed in a digit. Matthew gasped. It felt weird the way rubbed his inner walls but it didn't hurt. But that was until he slipped in the second finger.

Matthew whimpered a little and gripped the sheets a little. It hurt but not enough to make him cry out in pain. As Gilbert began to scissor him he noticed beads of sweat that began to form on Matthew's forehead. Gilbert began to rub Matthew's curl in an attempt to distract him. He could feel him relaxing around his fingers enough for him to slip in a third finger. He wriggled his fingers around searching for that one spot that would make Matthew scream.

"Gilbert! There! Please!" Cried Matthew. Gilbert grinned. He found it. He slowly began to thrust his fingers in and out, brushing past his prostate every now and then. When Gilbert was satisfied that Matthew was stretched enough he pulled out his fingers.

Matthew sighed inwardly at the loss and propped himself up on his elbows. "Are you ready?" Asked Gilbert in a husky voice. Matthew nodded. Gilbert grinned and pulled down his boxers to revile his manhood. Matthew's eyes went wide. "That's not going to fit."

Gilbert chuckled. "Don't worry. It'll fit." Matthew blushed and wrapped his arms around the albino's neck and rested his chin on his shoulder. Gilbert lined up with Matthew's entrance and slowly pushed in. Relishing in the tightness of his partner.

Matthew's nails dug into Gilbert's back and began to shake. He felt like he was being ripped apart but he refused to tell Gilbert to stop. Tears began to spring from the corner of his eyes.

When Gilbert was fully sheathed he waited for Matthew to get used to the feeling. He could feel Matthew shaking and whimpering slightly. He rubbed the small of Matthew's back in a silent apology. "Move." Whimpered Matthew.

Gilbert slowly lifted Matthew up by his hips and brought him back down. Matthew moaned slightly. Even though it still hurt at least there was some pleasure through friction.

Gilbert groaned at how good Matthew felt around his thick cock and began to speed up his thrusts. Suddenly Matthew screamed and through his head back in pleasure. Gilbert had slammed into his prostate head on. "Please Gilbert." He moaned. "Faster."

The albino grinned and laid Matthew back onto the mattress and angled his thrusts to slam into Matthew's sweet spot over and over again. "Damn you're so tight Matthew." Moaned Gilbert. Matthew blushed and bucked his hips up to match his lover's thrusts.

"Gil... I'm so close."

"Me too." Panted Gilbert. He grasped Matthew's cock and began to pump. "Together."

"Together." Breather Matthew.

Gilbert pumped and thrust faster. "_Ich liebe dich..._" He moaned.

"_Je t'aime _Gilbert!" Screamed Matthew as he came all over his chest and Gilbert's singlet. As Matthew's walls squeezed around Gilbert's member making him cum deep inside him. He kissed Matthew's forehead and collapsed onto of him. He slowly pulled out and rolled off. Pulling Matthew into a hug.

"I love you." Whispered Gilbert.

Matthew nuzzled his chest. "I love you too."

Gilbert chuckled and held Matthew close. Matthew was already sleeping.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Ludwig was sitting in the kitchen, reading a newspaper, with a dark blush and ear plugs in his ears to block out the sound of his brother having sex with his boyfriend. He was so damn pissed that Gilbert had forgotten that he happened to be at home.

Antonio walked into the kitchen with a look of shock on his face. Oh and Antonio happened to be there too. "Did I hear what I think I heard?" He asked.

Ludwig took out his ear plugs. "Sorry?"

"Did Gilbert and Matthew just?"

"Yep."

"Did Gilbert forget that we were-?"

"Yep."

"And they-?"

"Yep."

"Wanna go visit Francis?"

Ludwig face palmed. Why didn't he think of that before? "Let's go." So Antonio and Gilbert rushed out of the house and into the car.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Matthew opened his eyes. Gilbert's arms were wrapped protectively around him. He sighed contently and shifted slightly causing shooting pains to shoot up his back. "MAPLE!"

Gilbert opened his eyes and jumped up. "What's wrong?"

Matthew blushed. "My ass hurts... a lot..." He mumbled. Gilbert patted Matthew on the head and stood up.

"I'll get you some pain killer's okay." He said. Matthew nodded and tried to sit up. Damn it hurt. It hurt a lot. It felt like someone had stabbed his ass with a white hot iron poker. He would have been surprised if he wasn't bleeding after what they had just done. Gilbert sat next to him and gave him the pills and a cup of water. Matthew swallowed it gratefully and sighed.

"How long until I can walk?" He asked sheepishly.

Gilbert shrugged. "Don't know. Probably about half an hour. Until then I'll just have to carry you everywhere." This just made Matthew blush. Gilbert laughed and ran his hand through Matthew's hair before getting a stroke of brilliance. "Let's take a bath together."

"Eh?" Asked Matthew wide eyed. It was almost comical really. "Why?"

"Because." Said Gilbert. "I'm awesome. You're awesome. I have dried cum all over my hands and you have it all over your chest." Matthew blushed in embarrassment. Gilbert laughed and went back into the bathroom.

Matthew could hear him filling up the bathtub. _'Please let me faint right now.' _He thought. _'This is so embarrassing! But is it more or less embarrassing after sex? AHHH! I don't know!' _He tried to swing his legs over the edge of the bed and hissed out in pain. It still hurt but not as badly now.

Gilbert walked back into the room and frowned. "I thought I told you I'd be carrying you?" He walked over to Matthew picked him up and carried him bridal style to the bathroom. He placed Matthew in the warm water, pulled off his singlet and sat behind Matthew.

Matthew sighed. The water felt so good against his skin. The albino smiled at his boyfriend's reaction. He grabbed the shampoo squirted it into his palm and began to massage it into Matthew's scalp.

'_That feels so good.'_ Thought Matthew as he moaned, relaxing completely under Gilbert's touch. Gilbert chuckled at Matthew's reaction and picked up a loofa. He started to spread soap all over Matthew's back and chest. Soon Matthew was in pure bliss. He let Gilbert's hands roam freely all over his body.

"Matthew?"

"Yes?"

"I haven't washed that part of your body yet." He said slyly. Matthew blushed.

"No you haven't..." He said as he spread his legs slightly. Gilbert kissed and sucked the blond's neck as he slid his hand towards Matthew's cock and began to pump. Matthew bucked his hips up and moaned.

Gilbert snaked his other hand underneath him and rubbed a finger against his entrance. "Ready for round two?"

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Francis laughed hysterically at what Antonio and Ludwig had just told him. "So they were doing it and they didn't even know you were there?"

"Yep." Said Antonio.

"That's hilarious!" Cried Francis. "Funniest thing I've heard all day!"

"I'm glad you find it so amusing." Said Ludwig sarcastically.

Francis laughed again and sighed. "That's my boy. My horny albino boy."

**TBC**

* * *

><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>THAT HAD NO PLOT AT ALL! IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE STORY AT ALL! Please review...


	27. Things get shaken up

**Shinigami-cat: **Dumb thing that happened today. I walked into a door... FIVE TIMES IN TEN MINUTES! SAME DOOR! Well... next chapter... I OWN NOTHING!

**Things get shaken up**

_I see you walking home alone  
>Your face is alive and bright<br>But you can't see how weak you are 'cause I could end it tonight  
>It's the feeling you get when you think that someone behind is watching you<br>Well I can tell you know that someone is me and I'm about to make it right_

'_Hit the Floor' by Bullet for my Valentine_

* * *

><p>Matthew sighed as he flicked through the TV channels. There was absolutely nothing on... at all... not even a hockey game. He turned off the TV and stretched. Maybe he should do something like play COD or use the Wii fit. Alfred walked into the lounge room in his boxers and yawned. "Morning Matthew. Make me pancakes."<p>

Matthew pouted. "First of all it's the afternoon. Second we're out of flour, so I can't make any." Alfred's jaw dropped.

"NO MORE FLOUR?" He cried. "AND IT'S THE AFTERNOON? SHIT!" Alfred ran back up to his room and slammed the door behind him. Matthew would have asked what wrong with him, but this was Alfred. Anything could be happening with him.

Less than five minutes later Alfred was back in the lounge room fully dressed and had the car keys in his hand. "Dad's still letting you drive? Even after you crashed?" Asked Matthew.

Alfred rolled his eyes. "Didn't you hear? The brake line was cut. Not my fault."

"Eh?" Matthew's eyes went wide. "The line was cut? Who did it?"

Alfred shrugged. "Well it was a party. Police think it was some prank. Anyway... you want to come with me to the shops? I'm meeting Kiku at the arcade."

Matthew shrugged. "I guess so. Besides it would give me a chance to get some more flour."

Alfred beamed. "Brilliant! Let's go!" He grabbed Matthew's arm and dragged him out to the car.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

"Kiku!" Called Alfred as he waved to the Asian boy standing outside the arcade. Kiku waved back and walked towards Alfred.

"Good afternoon Alfred kun." He said. "Shall we get going?"

"One second." Alfred turned to Matthew. "So remember; hamburger meat, hot dogs, chips, pop tarts, coca cola, and everything else."

Matthew sighed. "I'm just going to get flo-"

"Grate." Alfred said. "Meet you back here in two hours."

"Two hours?" Asked Matthew. "Can't you just give me the car keys and call me when you need a lift home?"

Alfred thought for a second. "Nope. Later Mattie!"

Matthew sighed as he watched Alfred drag Kiku off into the arcade. He decided that since he had two hours he might as well go get some lunch. He walked past various clothing shops and some other places too. He passed an art shop and stopped. He did need some new sketch books. So he went inside. Feliciano and Ludwig were there looking at paints.

"Ve... maybe it's a mix of yellow oka and cream?" Asked Feliciano as he held up two tubes of paint to Ludwig's face. "No... it's more of a lemon..."

Ludwig shrugged. "Any colour would be good."

Feliciano gasped. "What? I can't just choose any colour! Would you choose a green to paint an elephant? No! I need the right yellow!" He turned back to the paints and started to look at the yellows again.

Matthew frowned and walked over to them. "Hi Feliciano. Hi Ludwig." They both jumped.

"Oh hi um... Matthew? Yes Matthew." Said Feliciano. "How are you? What are you looking for? Tell me which yellow is closest to Ludwig's hair?" He held up three tubes of paint to Matthew's face.

Matthew looked at the paint tubes then at Ludwig's hair. "Maybe a mix of the titanium white, lemon and yellow oka?" He suggested. Feliciano looked at the paint and then to Ludwig's hair. His face lit up and he smiled.

"Ve, you're right! That would be perfect!" Feliciano picked up the paint then looked at the blue. "But what colour would you say his eyes are? Sky blue or maybe baby blue?"

Ludwig sighed. "You're really picky about colour."

Feliciano pouted and went back to looking at the colours. "Um why do you need all those paints?" Asked Matthew.

"I'm painting a portrait of Ludwig." Said Feliciano. "So I need the right colours... So why are you here?"

"Oh I'm looking for a sketch book." Said Matthew. "Do you know where they are?"

Feliciano looked up from the paints with six different tubes of blue in his hands. "Ve, other side. Next to the markers."

"Thanks." Said Matthew.

"Oh before you go one more question." Said Feliciano. He held up the paint. "What do you think? It looks like a sky blue with hints cool blue."

Matthew thought for a second. "Sounds about right. Maybe a little bit of hot blue as well?"

Feliciano looked back at Ludwig's eyes and then at the paint. "Hm... I guess so..." While Feliciano was busy with the paint Matthew made his way over to the other side of the shop. He found the book he was after then went over to the grocery store.

He was just going to get flour and get out of there. But as he walked down the isles someone happened to bump into him. "Watch where you're going." Snapped the person he bumped into.

"Lovi." Cooed a Spanish man. "Don't be mean to him... Oh hi Matthew."

"Hi Antonio." Said Matthew. "What are you and Lovino doing here?"

Lovino huffed. "I was going shopping and this stupid bastard happened to follow me." He jabbed Antonio in the ribs for emphasis.

Antonio pouted and rubbed his side. "Aw... Lovi I know you love me."

Lovino went bright red. "SHUT UP!" He punched Antonio in the arm and marched off towards the check out. Antonio grinned and happily followed after Lovino like a puppy. Matthew smiled at them and went to get his flour.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Matthew still had half an hour before he met back up with Alfred so he went over to a small French café to get a pastry. Perhaps a chocolate éclair or a chocolate of some kind? As he was about to walk in he happened to run into Arthur.

Arthur dropped the bag he was carrying. "Damn it Alfred." He muttered. "Watch where you're going."

Matthew blushed and picked up the bag Arthur dropped. It had the logo of the French café on it. "Sorry Arthur... and I'm Matthew."

Arthur furrowed his caterpillar like eyebrows and frowned. "Right... I guess you're right..."

Matthew smiled. "So Arthur... what were you doing here? Alfred told me you hate French food."

"It's not for me." Said Arthur as he took the bag back from Matthew. "It's for..."

"Francis?" Offered Matthew.

Arthur's face went bright red. "No... I... He... Why would you think that?"

"No reason." Said Matthew. "It's just that this card says '_get well soon_'." Matthew held up a card that had fallen out of the bag. "And I thought the only person you knew that was unwell was Francis... Sorry if I was wrong."

Arthur sighed and took the card back. "Yes... it's for Francis..."

Matthew smiled. "That's nice. I'm sure Francis will be really happy to see you too. He really likes you."

Arthur mumbled something and walked off. "Goodbye Matthew."

"Later Arthur." Waved Matthew. He turned and walked into the French café.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Sometime later Matthew was standing outside the arcade waiting for Alfred. He was half an hour late. Matthew sighed and called Alfred.

"**The hero is speaking"** Came Alfred's voice.

"Alfred. Where are you?" Asked Matthew.

"**Oh Mattie! So sorry! Kiku and I went to his place!"**

"... You did what now?"

"**Sorry!"**

Matthew sighed and messaged his temples. "Fine... I'll walk home... It's not that far anyway..."

"**Thanks Mattie!" **Said Alfred before he hung up.

Matthew pocketed his phone and started to head for home. On the way out he happened to notice Lovino, Feliciano, Antonio and Ludwig talking... well it was more like Antonio was holding Lovino back while the feisty Italian was trying to hit Feliciano who was hiding behind Ludwig. Matthew giggled. It was just too funny.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Matthew happily walked through the park, well not to happily because well Alfred abandoned him at the shops, but whatever. As he walked through the park he hummed the Canadian national anthem to himself.

Suddenly the Darth Vader theme music began to play. He picked up his phone and sighed. Gilbert had been mucking around with his phone again. He picked it up and sighed. "What do you want Gil?"

"**Keseseses! I guess you heard my awesome intro! Darth Vader for the win!"**

"Okay Gilbert." Smiled Matthew. "So why are you calling?"

"**Simple."** Said Gilbert. **"You aren't home. I went outside a few minutes ago and saw that the car was gone. I assumed Alfred was gone and I thought we could hang out without Alfred beating the crap out of me for no reason."**

"Sorry." Said Matthew. "Alfred dragged me out to the shops... then he forgot about me."

"**What? That's so not cool! I'll pick you up right now. Where are you?"**

"I'm almost home now, so don't worry."

"**You sure? Okay." **

"Wait a second... are you in my house?"

"**... Maybe... um... yes..."**

"How do you keep getting into my house?"

"**Keseseses! Fallen angel secret. By the way are you still limping?"**

Matthew started to blush. "Th... that... that was last week."

"**I know... but you couldn't walk properly for a few hours after. If it hasn't gone away you should see a doctor."**

"I'm not limping anymore!"

"**Okay just making sure." **Said Gilbert. **"I didn't want to hurt you."**

Matthew blushed. "I'll see you when I get home okay?"

"**Okay. Love you Birdie."**

"Love you too Gilbert." Blushed Matthew. He put his phone away and continued walking. He was happy that Gilbert called him. Suddenly Matthew was hit in the back of the head with something knocking him onto the ground. "Maple!"

"Oh I'm so sorry Mr." Said s kid. His had blond hair, dark blue eyes and seemed extremely nervous. "I didn't mean to hit you." He trembled.

Matthew rubbed the back of his head and smiled. "It's okay." He said. "I know it was an accident so it's fine."

"Oh okay. I'm Raivis by the way." Said the boy.

"I'm Matthew." Said Matthew. He was about to stand up when he felt something stab his neck he jumped up and grabbed his neck. He looked at his hand and saw that there was a tinny spot of blood on his hand, about the size of a pin prick. He turned to Raivis who was holding a syringe.

"Sorry..." Mumbled Raivis.

Matthew stumbled and coughed. Whatever drug Raivis had injected him with was fast working. He began to feel dizzy, he began to sweat and he fell back to his knees. His vision became blurry and everything sounded distant and warped. He could hear Raivis talking to someone else but he couldn't hear everything they were saying.

"I... do you... right one?"

"... Name was... so he... Matthew, and... Gilbert... what now?"

"We have to... house... wait for... then we can... Natalia."

Matthew's eyes rolled into the back of his head. The only thing he could hear how was the beating of his own heart.

**TBC**

* * *

><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>First of all... I'M ON HOLIDAYS YES! Second... please review.


	28. Welcome to hell

**Shinigami-cat: **... So Matthew's been kidnapped. What's going to happen now? I'll tell you what... EVIL STUFF! HAHAHAHAHA! Or at least some twisted stuff... I OWN NOTHING!

**Welcome to hell**

_What can I do to make you see?  
>(You're Guilty!)<br>What can I do to make you feel,  
>you're wanted<br>What can I do to make you see?  
>(You're Guilty!)<br>I'm suffocating under words of sorrow_

'_Suffocating under words of sorrow' Bullet for my Valentine_

* * *

><p>Matthew's eyes slowly fluttered open. He still felt sluggish and heavy from the drugs that were still floating around in his system. The first thing he noticed was the intense heat that seemed to overpower him, making him feel even heavier. The second and third things he noticed were this; the room he was in was pitch black and he was on a mattress.<p>

He groaned and rubbed his eyes to try and get used to the darkness. He could just make out the outline of his hand. He rubbed his hand against the wall. It was made of brick. '_Where am I?_'

He heard a lock open and a door slowly creaked open. Matthew closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep. Hopefully whoever it was would go away. But they didn't go away. He could hear them moving towards him. "Matthew. Get up. I can tell you're awake. I have food for you. You need to eat... You've been asleep for two weeks."

"TWO WEEKS!" Cried Matthew. He jumped up and looked wide eyed at the man. He looked young, had shoulder length brown hair and bright green eyes. It was Toris. He held out a plate of food and a cup of water to Matthew. He nodded sadly.

"Yes. The drug was a little stronger than I thought... It should have knocked you out for about an hour."

"Why?" Asked Matthew. "Why did you do that?"

Toris sighed. "I can't tell you... but you need to eat." He put the food and the water on the ground and tried to pull Matthew into a sitting position. That was when Matthew first noticed the chain attached to his leg, fixing him to the wall.

"Please let me go." Said Matthew. "I want to go home... please..."

Toris shook his head and pressed the cup to Matthew's lips. "Drink. Don't worry it's not drugged."

Matthew cautiously took the cup from Toris and drank. He didn't realize how thirsty he was until he started drinking. Was he really asleep for two weeks? He had no idea. "Oh god..." Said Matthew. "Gilbert... Alfred... dad... they have no idea where I am..."

Toris smiled. "Don't worry Matthew. They're out looking for you all the time. I've seen the posters and the police patrolling the place."

Matthew sighed. He had no idea what was going on, and the way Toris acted just confused him. Was he a friend or an enemy? There was no way of knowing. "Why can't you let me go?" He asked. "Please tell me where I am."

Toris bit his lip. "I can't let you go because if I did he would kill me and I can't tell you where you are because he would kill me."

"Who's he?" Asked Matthew.

Toris sighed. "He. Him. It. The devil himself... or at least his brother... You have about two hours until he gets back." Toris stood up and walked towards the door.

"Wait!" Cried Matthew. He reached out and grabbed his arm. "Please! I'm begging you! Let me go!"

Toris shrugged him off. "I'm sorry Matthew really I am... None of us really want to do this... but he won't let us stop." And with that Toris closed the door. Leaving Matthew alone in the dark.

He began to panic. What was going to happen to him? Why was it happening to him? He just wanted to be back home safe in Gilbert's arms. "Gilbert..." He sobbed. "Please... please save me..."

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Matthew had curled up into a ball and was crying his eyes out. He was so afraid of what was going to happen. He could hear something. It sounded like someone was calling... whispering to him. "Please find me Gilbert... please..."

"Birdie... where are you? I can't find you." Called a voice. Matthew's eyes snapped open. He could see something that looked like a ball of smoke just in front of his eyes.

"Gilbert? Is that you?"

"Matthew!" The smoke ball seemed to jump up and down and moved closer Matthew. "Where are you? Are you okay?" Gilbert's voice was resinating from the smoke ball

Matthew reached out to touch the smoke. It felt soft and warm. "Gilbert... what is this?"

"Oh this? Well... it's a little hard to explain but basically you're dreaming at the moment... and unless I totally manipulate your dream. Which I can't do very well at the moment... I mean I would but... I'm so tired." The ball seemed to grow dull at the statement. "But that's not the point! The point is you're alive! Are you okay?"

Tears fell down Matthew's face. "I... I'm fine... but I'm so scared... Have I really been gone for two weeks?"

"Yes..." He said. "When you didn't come home I called you and when I couldn't get a hold of you I called Alfred. We couldn't find you anywhere... We put posters up everywhere and called the police... and I've been trying to find you while you were sleeping but I couldn't find you."

Matthew tried to hold the smoke ball in his hands. "I'm sorry you were so worried about me."

The smoke ball floated next to Matthew's chest. "What? You're worried about me? You're the one who's been kidnapped. Tell me where you are... I don't know how long we can keep talking like this."

"Okay..." Said Matthew. "I think... I think I'm in a basement... or a dungeon... I just know that it's a small room and I'm chained to a wall... and it's really hot here. Please Gilbert... find me."

"I will find you Matthew... and I'll kill the fuckers that kidnapped you."

"Please hurry Gilbert... He's going to come for me soon."

"Who? Who's coming for you?"

"I don't know... but I'm afraid... Please save me..."

The ball of smoke seemed to swell up and bounce around. "Of course I'll find you Matthew. I'm awesome. I refuse to sleep until I find you... I love you Matthew."

"I love you too Gilbert."

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Matthew woke up with a light shining in his face. The door was open but there was no one there. Matthew cautiously crawled off the mattress and toward the door. He only got as far as the doorway before the chain held him back.

It was obvious that he was in a basement (_because there were stairs leading up to a door_), the walls were made of brick just like his cell, there was a shelf opposite to him holding five black jars, there was a table in the middle of the room that had several piece of blacksmiths equipment and there was a furnace in the corner. It was obvious to Matthew that that was the source of the blistering heat.

He clung to the door frame and tried to stand but his legs were shaking violently. He ended up falling on his ass. He sighed and tugged at the chain on his leg. It was really heavy. "What am I going to do?"

"You're going to sit there and do everything I say da." Said a voice.

Matthew gasped and looked up at the towering figure of Ivan. "Mr Braginski?"

Ivan laughed darkly. "Why so formal? We aren't in school anymore. Call me Ivan." Matthew gulped and slowly crawled away. Was Ivan who Toris said was coming for him? Ivan laughed. He bent down and grabbed the chain. "So Matthew... I hope you're enjoying your new living arrangement..." He yanked the chain pulling Matthew closer to him. "... because you're going to be spending a lot of time here..." He yanked the chain with such force that it sent Matthew flying through the air and into Ivan's arms.

"Please..." Whispered Matthew. "Let me go."

"Why should I?" Asked Ivan. He threw Matthew onto the mattress and pressed his boot onto his chest. Pinning him. "So you can go back to Gilbert?" He hissed. "You don't deserve him you little slut." He kicked Matthew in the rib cage and spat in his face.

"Let me go!" Cried Matthew.

Ivan grabbed Matthew by the front of his hoddie and slapped him. Matthew could taste copper. Ivan lifted him up and slammed him into a wall. His dark purple eyes burned into Matthew's lavender. "Look into my eyes and listen to my voice. You are calm... completely relaxed. Your eye lids are getting heavy but you won't fall asleep." Matthew blinked a couple of times. His eyes were getting heavy... was Ivan using hypnosis? "Kolkolkol... Now Matthew when you go to sleep you will probably dream about Gilbert. If you do dream of him you can't tell him where you are and you can't tell him anything about me or anyone here. Got it?" Matthew nodded. Ivan smirked "Good. And you are not allowed to speak or make any noise at all when I'm not in this cell with you." He dropped Matthew who fell down with a thump.

"Why are you doing this?" Coughed Matthew. "Just tell me."

Ivan laughed. "Because I hate you. I thought that much was obvious da." He closed the iron door and locked it. Leaving Matthew in the dark. Matthew tried to move but his legs refused to. He quirked an eyebrow. He moved his unshackled leg easily but his other leg refused to move. '_Is it because he hypnotized me eh?_' He opened his mouth to try and speak but nothing came out. Matthew's eyes went wide. '_Sweet maple he did hypnotize me!_'

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Without a clock or a window the days seemed to blend together. Matthew would stay still and not make a sound unless Ivan was in the room, when Ivan was with him he would beat Matthew and call him a slut, when he was sleeping Gilbert would always be there in his smoky ghost ball form trying to get information out of Matthew who would seize up and just beg Gilbert to find him and save him.

"Worthless trash." Hissed Ivan. He kicked Matthew in the ribs. Not enough to brake anything but enough to leave a dark bruise. Matthew coughed and spat up some blood.

"Why are you so obsessed Gilbert?" He whimpered. He couldn't take much more of this.

Ivan laughed and grabbed Matthew by the hair threw him onto the mattress. It creaked under the sudden weight. Matthew shook his head and groaned. He looked up at Ivan with wide eyes only to gasp out in shock. Ivan was stripping. '_HE'S GOING TO RAPE ME!_'

But Ivan left his pants and scarf on. There seemed to be an extreme dark aura around him. He turned to move his shirt and coat to the side of the small cell. Matthew looked at his back and gasped. There on his back was a dark purple V shaped scar. "The same..." He whispered.

Ivan looked over his shoulder and smirked. "So you've seen Gilbert's scars?" Matthew hesitated but nodded. "So I can assume that you know what they do?"

"They hold memories..." Mumbled Matthew.

"That's right da." Said Ivan happily. He crouched down so he was eye level with Matthew. "But mine are unique. Unlike a Fallen angel I can choose what people see..." He grabbed Matthew's wrist in a vice like grip. "... and I can choose how much pain you experience when you touch one." His purple eyes bore into Matthew's. "Touch one. Now."

Matthew's mouth went dry. He didn't want to touch one of Ivan's scars, who knows what he might see. But his hand was already reaching out. Matthew looked up at Ivan with tears in his eyes. "Please don't make me do this."

Ivan's creepy childlike smile stretched across his face. "But you asked me a question didn't you? I'm just answering your question." Matthew pressed his hand against Ivan's scar. Blistering pain shot up Matthew's arm, he felt the back of his eyes burning and he screamed.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Ivan walked through a town in the middle of some country. He wasn't sure which one it was but it didn't matter to him. Nor did it matter to him that it was pouring down. He simply shrugged and continued to walk. The rain never affected him at all.

As he walked he noticed the smell of smoke drift through the damp air and a light off in the distance. Curious he walked towards it. He was surprised to see a house on fire. As he got closer he noticed the figure stumble out of the house. His silver hair glowing in the light of the fire. Even from where Ivan was standing he could tell there was something strange about that man.

"Perhaps he is a Fallen angel da? Toris did tell me that a couple of them had fallen recently..." He thought to himself for a second. "There were two blonds a, brunet and a silver haired one... what was the name again? Gilbert? Sounds about right..."

Ivan smiled. It would be nice to have another Fallen angel to talk to. He already knew about Gilbert... heck he already knew about every Fallen angel. After all it was his job to process Fallen angels into demons like he was. Many years ago he was an angel too... but he followed the wrong person into a war with God and became a demon.

Gilbert began to run. Ivan followed. He was really fast for someone who looked like they had third degree burns. Eventually Gilbert collapsed next to an oak tree. He could hear Gilbert whispering. "Please. Please. I know you can hear me. Just please… kill me. Kill me. I want to die. Please." Ivan giggled. Maybe Gilbert would be fun to mess with for a bit.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

"Bartender another beer for my friend da."

"I'm not your friend." Hissed Gilbert.

Ivan frowned. "But you asked me to go drinking with you. Why wouldn't you ask Francis of Antonio to go drinking with you if they are your friends...? Why not your brother?"

"Because." Said Gilbert. He skulled his beer and slammed the glass on the table. "They'd call me a sick inhuman monster if they knew what I got up to tonight."

Ivan ran his finger around the rim of his Vodka bottle. "But you are inhuman. What could you have done that was so bad?"

Gilbert sighed. "Well... you know how I'm cursed right?" Ivan nodded. "Well... tonight I lost control again... I ended up biting through his jugular... There was so much blood..."

Ivan shrugged. "You've done way worse. I believe you scooped out his eyes with a spoon once... or twice... maybe six times?"

"Seven..." Said Gilbert. "I scooped his eyes out seven times... But that's not the point... Every time before when I killed him... I don't know... I felt detached. Like I was watching a movie playing out. Like I couldn't stop anything because I had no control... But tonight..." Gilbert tilted his head back and blinked back a few tears. "Tonight... I just... When I thought something it just happened... When I was kissing his neck I just thought... Bite. Tare. Rip. Drink... and I did... I couldn't stop myself."

Ivan smiled inwardly. Gilbert was finally starting down the path of a demon. From now on Gilbert would kill Matthew in more violent and gory ways until Matthew would stop coming back. Ivan took a sip of Vodka. "So do you hate yourself now?"

Gilbert shook his head and rested it in his hands. "If anything I hate Matthew... If he hadn't had fallen in love with me in the first place none of this would have happened. Sometimes I wish he would just stay dead."

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Ivan was drinking Vodka in his house patiently waiting for his guest to turn up. A sudden knock at the door told him his guest had arrived. He opened the door. There standing in front of him was Gilbert; his hair was streaked red with blood, his eyes wide and fearful, his clothes bloodied and torn and blood smeared his face. Mainly around his mouth. Ivan sighed and let Gilbert inside.

Gilbert stumbled into the house and fell into a chair. His whole body was shaking. "I'm a monster... A bloody fucking monster..."

Ivan sat in the chair across from him. "What happened this time?" He asked. "Did you just rip out his throat?"

Gilbert shook his head. "I ate him..."

Even Ivan was surprised at this. "Did you just say you ate him da? As in ate his flesh?"

"Down to the bone..." Whisper Gilbert. Tears began to fall from his eyes. "And you know what the worst part was...? HE WAS STILL ALIVE!" He curled up into a ball and wailed loudly. "AND I LOVED IT! The fear in his eyes... the pain... I drank it all in... It was intoxicating... like a drug... I only stopped when he said..."

Ivan took a sip of his Vodka and cocked his head in a quizzical way. "What did he say?"

Gilbert gulped and looked directly into Ivan's eyes. "Please Gilbert I love you... That's what he said... right before the light vanished from his eyes... I'm such a monster... If... if I could have stopped the monster inside me from this..."

"There was nothing you could have done." Said Ivan. "It's your curse. If you can't solve the riddle you can't break it. You'll have to keep killing Matthew over and over again." Gilbert cried harder. Ivan sighed and walked over to gilbert and held him close. Everything was going according to plan. If Gilbert continued down the path he was going he would become a demon before he had served out his sentence and if that happened Gilbert would never get a second chance

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Matthew ripped his hand off Ivan's back. There was a burn mark of his hand that stung so badly, his body felt like it was skinned and his eyes stung so much. "Kolkolkol... do you get it now?" Asked Ivan. "The reason I'm so obsessed with Gilbert is because it's my job to turn him into demon. Plus he's just too much fun."

"You're a liar..." Said Matthew.

"Excuse me?" Asked Ivan.

"YOU'RE A LIAR!" Screamed Matthew. "GILBERT LOVES ME! HE WOULDN'T WANT ME DEAD! LIAR!"

Ivan kicked Matthew in the jaw to shut him up. "Shut up you fucking cunt. The sooner you fucking die the sooner I can make Gilbert a demon." He kicked Matthew in the ribs again and left him there. Wheezing and gasping for breath.

'_Why... why doesn't he just kill me?_'

**TBC**

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><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>Yay! Chapter over! Poor Matthew... please review!


	29. So close but you couldn't tell

**Shinigami-cat: **So... poor Matthew... Well things can get any worse right? RIGHT? Anyway... I OWN NOTHING!

**So close but you couldn't tell**

_Come down..._  
><em>You may be full of fear<em>  
><em>But you'll be safe here<em>  
><em>When you finally trust me<em>  
><em>Finally believe in me<em>

_I will let you down_  
><em>I'll let you down, I'll<em>  
><em>When you finally trust me<em>  
><em>Finally believe in me<em>

'_Let you down' by Three Days Grace_

* * *

><p>Gilbert sat on the edge of his bed. He rubbed his eyes and sighed. Matthew had been gone for a month and no matter how many times he talked to Matthew he wouldn't tell him where he was... but Gilbert could tell Matthew was getting weaker. If he didn't do something soon Matthew might die.<p>

The door to his room opened and Francis cautiously walked in. "Gilbert? Are you feeling any better?"

Gilbert coughed and looked up at Francis. "Do I look better?"

Francis sighed. "No... You look like you got hit by a truck." And Francis was right. Gilbert did look like he was hit by a truck; dark circles under his eyes, extremely chapped lips, greasy hair, he had lost several pounds and looked unhealthily thin and he had gross pussy scabs all over his arms. "How long since you've slept?"

Gilbert shrugged and started picking at a scab. "Two weeks ago... but I'm fine... I can't die from a lack of sleep."

"That may be true." Said Francis. "But you can get very ill. I mean look at you! You're haven't been outside in days! And you refuse to sleep! Do you have any idea what that's done to your appearance? And you need to shower... Stop picking at that thing when I'm talking to you!"

Gilbert sighed and looked up at Francis. "I can't sleep until I find Matthew."

"It's been a month... Maybe he's-"

"Don't you finish that sentence." Snapped Gilbert. "Unless it ends with already home."

Francis sighed. "But you need to sleep. You've wasted so much energy already trying to talk to him."

"Wasted?" Asked Gilbert. "I wasted my energy? What if it was Arthur? Would you say you were wasting your energy?" He stood up and pushed Francis out of his room.

Francis knocked on the door. "Gilbert... I didn't mean to upset you."

Gilbert stuck his fingers in his ears. "I'm not listening. Go away."

"But Gilbert! If you don't sleep you'll get weaker and you won't be any help to Matthew if you aren't strong enough."

Gilbert sighed. He knew Francis was right. He had to sleep sometime. He pulled off his shirt and looked down at himself. There were red marks on his chest from where he was starting to scratch. It wasn't because he liked hurting himself, it was because he was stressed... majorly stressed... and when he was stressed he scratched himself. He didn't mean to... he just did.

"I have to find him... I can't rest until Matthew I safe." He started to dig at a spot on his collar bone. It was tender and red but he still dug at it. "If Matthew's been raped... I'll rip the bastard's throat out... No one touches my Birdie... and if there's even one scratch on his face... Someone's going to die." His phone began to ring. Without even looking at the caller ID Gilbert pressed the phone to his ear. "Who is it and why should I care?"

"**Your words wound me so Gilbert."** Said Ivan.

Gilbert groaned. He didn't want to talk to Ivan. "Why are you calling?"

"**I have a job for you."**

"I can't. Matthew's missing."

"**I know. It's been a month now hasn't it?"**

"Yep... I don't know what to do Ivan... I have no idea where he is. Does he think he's protecting me or something? I'm not the one who needs protecting. He does!"

"**I agree." **Said Ivan. **"How about I get Toris and Raivis to look for him? They would be way more effective than the police."**

"Really? Thanks Ivan." Said Gilbert. "... I guess you aren't as bad as I thought."

"**Of course I am." **Said Ivan. **"You should trust me more da."**

Gilbert smiled. "I guess you're right. So what's this about a job?"

"**Toris will meet you in the usual place da."**

"Okay later Ivan." Gilbert hung up his phone and pulled on a clean shirt. If he was lucky this would be the last ever job he would have to do for Ivan. Seven lives and the curse would be lifted. Seven lives and he and Matthew could be together... Once he found Matthew and killed the bastard that kidnapped him of course.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Ivan turned off his phone and smirked at Matthew. He had his hands tied behind his back with an unbelievably itchy rope, his legs were bound in a very venerable position, had a metal ball gag in his mouth and a dogs collar around his neck. Ivan pulled on the leash making Matthew face plant into the concrete. He got a nasty graze on the side of his face and chin.

"Feel a little better now?" Asked Ivan. "You got to hear Gilbert's voice. How lucky for you." He pulled the leash to force Matthew to his knees. Matthew flinched as Ivan caressed his face. "Your skin if very soft Matthew... Even though I've beaten you so much."

Matthew closed his eyes tight. '_Please... Please someone help me._' Ivan pushed Matthew backwards but held on tight to the leash so he didn't hit the ground. Sweat began to pour down Matthew's face and he found it difficult to breath. '_Please! Someone! Why is this happening to me? It hurts! I don't want to die! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!_'

Ivan chuckled and gently lowered Matthew to the ground and dug the heal of his shoe into Matthew's stomach. "I don't see why Gilbert loves you... You're such a whore... and a slut... and a bitch."

Matthew bit down on the metal ball and cringed. He hated this. He hated everything about this. He was so helpless and weak. He wanted to scream... anything, but he couldn't. Moving was impossible.

Ivan removed his foot and just looked at Matthew for a bit. He looked so pathetic and weak. How couldn't understand the appeal of the small, little, weak Canadian. He couldn't even fight back. He was so... well he kept thinking the one thing over again. He was weak. He came to the conclusion that Gilbert liked submissive men.

He hummed to himself and sighed. "You're really sweaty... Why haven't you taken off your hoddie? The heat must be unbearable." Matthew turned his head away from Ivan. "... So you don't want to talk with me?"

'_I HAVE A BALL GAG IN MY MOUTH!_' Matthew screamed in his mind. '_I can't talk to you even if I wanted to..._'

Ivan sat next to Matthew and ran his fingers through his hair. Matthew moved his head away. But that was a mistake. Ivan grabbed Matthew's throat and squeezed. "Don't you fucking move." He hissed.

Matthew froze and tears began to stream down his face. Ivan loosened his grip slightly. He picked up Matthew and placed him on the mattress and sighed. Beating up Matthew was fun, but he wanted to break him. No not just break him... shatter him and crush the pieces into dust. That would be fun. Well since he was already bound and gagged...

He ran his fingers up and down Matthew's jaw. Matthew started to tremble and his eyes shot open. "Kolkolkol... You really are weak aren't you? You're even too afraid to try and fight me off." He leaned down to whisper into Matthew's ear. "I could take you right now... and you wouldn't be able to do anything at all." He licked the shell of Matthew's ear and moved his hand down towards Matthew's pants.

Matthew let out a strangled scream and violently jerked away. There was no way he was going to let Ivan rape him. '_AHHHH! STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!_' Somehow Matthew managed to jerk himself upright onto his knees and shuffle away.

Ivan just giggled in amusement. "What was that? Nice try. I'll give you points for trying but you're just delaying the inevitable da." He leaned forward and grabbed the leash and gently tugged on it causing Matthew to fall to his onto side. He then grabbed the chain (_still attached to Matthew's ankle_) and dragged Matthew back towards him.

He flipped Matthew onto his face so his ass was in the air. Before Matthew could move away Ivan grabbed his hips. Matthew whimpered. He knew what was going to happen to him now. '_Please... forgive me Gilbert..._'

Ivan undid Matthew's pants and pulled them down with his boxers. The material pooled around his knees. Soon a bony digit slipped inside the Canadian. Matthew began to cry. He felt disgusting. It was quickly followed by a second and third finger. It hurt so much. He could feel himself tearing slightly only increasing his pain. Matthew whimpered and sniffled. Suddenly Ivan hit Matthew's prostate making him moan around the gag.

"Such a slut..." Said Ivan. He unzipped his pants and pulled out his semi hard erection. He stroked it himself a couple of times while he slammed into Matthew's prostate a few more times. He pulled his fingers out with a pop and pressed the tip of his man hood against Matthew's entrance. "Such a whore..."

He slammed into Matthew. Not giving a damn about the screams that leaked out around the gag. Damn he was so tight. He pulled out and smirked at the blood that leaked out of his entrance. The main point of fingering the blond was to just find his prostate anyway. Speaking of which... He plunged back into Matthew and hit his prostate dead on.

Matthew arched his back and moaned. He hated himself for reacting the way it was. He hurt so badly but he felt sick pleasure as well. He wanted to throw up but wanted it was starting to feel so good. He was disgusted in himself. Ivan kept pounding into his prostate making the Canadian moan. He could feel a tight coil build in the pit of his stomach. He arched his back and was about to cum when he felt Ivan's hand clench his throbbing member, preventing him from cuming.

"Not yet whore." Growled Ivan. He continued to ram into the blond until he felt he was close. He let go of Matthew's member, who cumed violently onto the floor. Felling his walls clamp around his own manhood Ivan came inside Matthew. He collapsed on top of Matthew and breathed heavily. After a little time Ivan pulled out and sat up. He smirked at the blood and cum that leaked out of the blond. He pulled his pants back on and removed the restraints on Matthew.

Even though Matthew could move his arms and legs (_and the gag and collar were off too_) he saw no point in moving. He just wanted to die. Ivan rolled Matthew onto his back and smirked. "You're such a filthy whore. Gilbert wouldn't want you now."

Matthew just blinked. No emotion showed at all on his face. "Kill me." He whispered. "Just kill me already... I want to die..."

Ivan laughed. "Why would I want to kill you? You're much more fun alive. When you beat the dead they stay broken, when you rape the dead... I'm not even going to go there... But when you beat the living they scream and heal and when you rape the living they scream and beg for mercy." He stood up and walked towards the door. "Besides I can't kill you even if I wanted to. After all Gilbert's the one who's cursed to kill you not me."

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Gilbert sat in the back of the car and sighed. Tonight was the last job he would ever have to do for Ivan. He looked at the two black jars in his hands. The last two jars. Once he gave them to Ivan everything would be fine... he just needed to find Matthew. Katyusha stopped the car and turned to Gilbert with a timid smile. "Um we're here now Gilbert."

Gilbert nodded and got out of the car. He walked up to the house and let himself in. Natalia was sitting on the steps sharpening her knifes (_She always seemed to do that when Gilbert came over_). "Hey bitch." Said Gilbert. "Is Ivan in the basement again?"

Natalia rolled her eyes. "Obviously." She hissed.

Gilbert gave her the finger and walked off to the basement. He opened the door and marched down the steps. "The awesome me is back!" He called. "I got the last jars!"

"Wonderful." Said Ivan. He took the jars off Gilbert and put them on the shelf with the others. "You should get some sleep Gilbert. You look terrible."

"Not you too!" Cried Gilbert. "Francis told me that this morning."

"When did Francis get out?"

"Few days ago." Said Gilbert. He rolled up his sleeve and started to dig at a sore. "But he still has stitches... he's getting them out next week."

"That's good." Said Ivan. Gilbert shrugged and let his eyes wander around the room. He never really looked around the basement before. But why would he? There wasn't much to see... just a furnace, a shelf with the lead jars full of blood, a table with blacksmiths equipment and a door that led into... well Gilbert had no idea what was behind that door but he had no real interest in what was in there.

"Were you just in there or something?" Gilbert asked.

Ivan tilted his head. "Pardon?"

"That door's not closed properly." Gilbert pointed out. It was true to, the door was open slightly, not so far so you could see what was inside but open enough for it to be noticeable. "What's in there anyway?"

Ivan shrugged. "A bit of this and a bit of that." He said. "I was just trying to organize some stuff before you came here."

"Fair enough." Said Gilbert. "Were you serious about finding Matthew?"

Ivan nodded. "Of course I was. I promise you I'll find Matthew and when I do I'll return him. After all I can't break the curse if Matthew isn't there too."

Gilbert yawned. "I really do have to find him now... Damn I'm tired..."

"Then you should get some rest." Said Ivan. "If you don't something much worse that infected sores could happen to you."

Gilbert visibly paled. He had completely forgotten about that. "SHIT! I need to get some sleep..." He began to pace around the room gripping his hair. "If I don't... It'll be just like all those other times... SHIT!"

Ivan sighed. "Calm down Gilbert. You won't lose control."

"HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW?" Screamed Gilbert. "If... if I don't get enough sleep I can snap... HOW THE HELL COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT?"

Ivan grabbed Gilbert's shoulders. "I can help you with it if you want."

"How?"

Ivan sighed. "If you trust me... I can hypnotize you... You won't go insane and randomly attack everything like you usually do... but it will only stop you from going insane due to being sleep deprived... I can't stop you from just snapping."

"Why would you want to help me?"

"Because." Said Ivan. "If you go insane and end up killing... let's say Matthew's kidnapper for example... I can't help you break the curse from behind bars."

Gilbert sighed. "Fine... just do it."

Ivan smiled. "Good... Now look into my eyes and listen to my voice... You are calm... completely relaxed. When you feel like you are going to lose it and go insane because you are tired you won't. Instead you will feel normal. You will only snap and release your rage, monstrous fury and raw anger when I say the word swan. And you will become the perfect hunter NOT killer when I say the word... badger. But you will not remember what I just said... It will be buried in your subconscious... to use only when the time is right."

Gilbert shook his head and blinked. "Did it work?"

Ivan shrugged. "Maybe... You should go home now. Get some rest. Look for Matthew or something... and in a few days I'll be ready to help free you from your curse."

Gilbert nodded and left the basement.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Matthew heard everything. '_Gilbert... Why didn't you open the door? I'm here... I'm here... Why couldn't you find me...?_' New tears ran down his face. He wanted this hell to end. He wanted Gilbert to open the door and save him. He wanted to be taken far away from here. But there was no chance of that was there?

**TBC**

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><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>... I feel like such a heartless bitch now... *Walks over to the emo corner and cries* I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON! HOW COULD I DO THAT TO HIM? WHY? *dries tears and walks back*... Please review?


	30. Let the hunt begin

**Shinigami-cat: **... So... here's the next chapter... WHHAAAAAA! I want Gilbert to find Matthew! I'm so horrible for what I did to him in the last chapter... I OWN NOTHING!

**Let the hunt begin**

_Push me again  
>This is the end<br>Here we go!  
>Here we go!<br>Here we go!  
>One - Nothing wrong with me<br>Two - Nothing wrong with me  
>Three - Nothing wrong with me<br>Four - Nothing wrong with me  
>One - Something's got to give<br>Two - Something's got to give  
>Three - Something's got to give <em>

'_Let the bodies hit the floor' by Drowning Pool_

* * *

><p>Matthew was sitting on the mattress. It had been several days since Ivan raped him and he hadn't set a foot back into his cell since. But he didn't care that much. He was dead inside. An empty shell. He sighed looked out the door. Ivan left it open while he was working, but on what Matthew didn't care.<p>

He was hitting a lump of metal over and over again. He had been doing that for two days straight now. Before that he was scratching a reddish brown stain off the floor with a knife. Ivan had mumbled something about how difficult it was to get it but Matthew wasn't listening. He just wanted everything to end.

Matthew could hear the door to the basement open and someone walk inside. "Mr Ivan... How are you going?" Asked a trembling voice.

Ivan stopped working and looked up. "Oh hello Toris. I'm going well. Are you bringing Matthew his food?"

Toris nodded and walked into Matthew's cell. He knelt down in front of him and held out a bread roll. Matthew didn't take it. He just kept looking straight ahead. Not really focusing on anything with his dead eyes. Toris broke off part of it and pressed it against Matthew's partially opened lips. "Come on Matthew." He whispered. "You have to eat... Even if you don't want to."

Matthew didn't react. Toris sighed. "Ivan he's not eating again."

"Then let him starve." Said Ivan. "It doesn't matter to me."

Toris sighed. He didn't want Matthew to starve so he pushed some of the bread into his mouth and left. When he was gone Matthew rolled the bread around on his tongue and let it go soggy. He didn't want to eat it but it felt nice to have something on his tongue.

'_I wonder how long until this ends?_' He thought. '_I hope when I go to sleep I don't wake up... That would be nice..._' Just the thought of dying sounded good and made him feel safe. '_When I die Ivan can't touch me anymore... I'll be free... _' He looked down at his arms he could just see the white scars on his wrist where he used to cut himself. '_Should have killed myself ages ago..._'

"Are you going to swallow?" Asked Ivan. "I saw Toris put some bread in your mouth. It would be rude if you didn't eat what you were given." Matthew didn't respond he didn't even look at Ivan. Ivan shrugged and went back to work. He didn't care if Matthew was miserable. He just needed him to be alive long enough to die.

He hit the metal a few more times with a hammer and picked it up. The dagger was finally starting to take shape. From the tip of the blade to the end of the handle it was about as long as a ruler, but it was as dull as a ball.

He put it down and picked up large metal pot. He then got the jars off the shelf and began to pour the blood into it. Some of the blood had solidified but a quick stir with a spoon broke it up again. While he swirled the mixture he looked up at Matthew. He was looking right at him with his soulless, dead eyes.

"Gilbert's the one that's been getting this for me you know." Said Ivan. A smirk stretched over his lips. "He killed seven people. Slit their throats and drained their blood." Matthew didn't move. Ivan frowned. He thought that would get a reaction out of him. So he tried a different angle. "You know... now that I think about it... he killed those people in the same places he killed you." Matthew twitched slightly. This was what Ivan wanted. "Yes... In order... There was a woman killed in the same park Gilbert snapped your neck... The man killed where Gilbert pushed you off a building... The man killed where Gilbert continuously ran you over... The man killed where Gilbert crushed your skull with his foot... The woman killed in the warehouse where Gilbert decapitated you... The man killed where Gilbert gouged your eyes out... The woman killed in the old wine cellar where Gilbert tied you up and ate you alive."

Matthew shifted slightly. It wasn't really the reaction Ivan was after but it was a reaction none the less. He happily hummed to himself as he got ready to put the dagger into the furnace.

Matthew thought things over in his mind. '_So... he snapped my neck, pushed me off a building, ran me over, crushed my skull, decapitated me, gouged out my eyes and ate me... Love you to Gilbert._' He rested the back of his head against the brick wall. '_He was right... I shouldn't have fallen in love with him. He has every right to hate me. If I could turn back time to when we first met all those life time's ago I wouldn't have fallen in love with him._'

He saw Ivan hammering the white hot piece of metal. He wasn't sure what Ivan was doing. Maybe making things like that was a hobby of his... maybe not. After a few minutes or maybe hours (_He couldn't tell_) Ivan smiled happily and dipped the dagger into the bucket of blood. The metal screamed and hissed as it rapidly cooled. Ivan pulled the dagger out and beamed. He looked ecstatic.

"It's ready!" He cried happily. "It's so pretty da!" Matthew tilted his head. He couldn't see what was so good about it... It was just a dagger. It wasn't even that impressive, the only interesting thing about it was that in the light it had a slight rainbow tint... Where had Matthew heard about a dagger with a rainbow tint... that had to be cooled in the blood of seven people...? When everything clicked in his mind Matthew's eyes went wide and his jaw dropped.

Ivan noticed this and smiled. "The blade of seven." He said. "I can assume by your expression that you've heard of it before. It took me forever to figure out where to get angel blood from... But it was a good thing Gilbert bled a little onto the floor last time he was here." He happily took the dagger out of the forceps and twirled it around his fingers. Mind you it was still burning hot. "A blade that is strong enough to kill anything... Angel, demon, human the blade doesn't discriminate. All you have to do is stab what you want to kill in the heart and it dies... horribly and painfully." He seemed hypnotized by the way the blade spun in his hand. "It can send an angel to the pits of hell for all eternity... It can make a demon turn to stone trapping them for all eternity..." He looked at Matthew's trembling form and beamed. "Just imagine what it can to a human's soul."

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Gilbert was walking down the street with Alfred. They were doing another lap of the park to see if there was any sign of what happened to Matthew. They both refused to give up. "Where the hell is he?" Grumbled Alfred.

"Got no idea." Said Gilbert. He was pissed that he couldn't find Matthew. No matter how hard he tried it just seemed impossible.

"Well we have to find him." Said Alfred. "The hero never gives up."

"Hero's don't exist." Said Gilbert.

Alfred rolled his eyes. "Hero's so exist."

"I don't see anyone flying around in their underwear."

"Well obviously." Said Alfred. "Those kinds of hero's are fictional... but there are real heroes too."

Gilbert rolled his eyes. "There's no such thing as a hero Alfred... There are just idiots and bad guys. If you aren't one you're the other."

"Not true." Said Alfred. "Fire fighters."

"Risk their lives for people dumb enough to get caught in a fire."

"... Paramedics."

"Put themselves into situations where if they don't save someone's life they can develop depression... and get sued."

"... Police?"

"They get shot."

Alfred rolled his eyes. "Matthew thought you were his hero..."

Gilbert raised an eyebrow. "He what?"

Alfred looked at Gilbert. "He never said it but I could tell that he thought you were his hero... That's why I hate you so much. Before you came along Matthew looked to me for help, I was his hero... But you came along and took him away."

Gilbert chuckled darkly. "A hero? He thinks I'm his hero? I'm not a hero..."

'_That's right..._' He thought. '_I'm not a hero. I'm a monster. If Alfred knew how many times I killed Matthew... I'm no hero..._' Gilbert's phone started ringing. Reluctantly he answered it.

"**Gilbert I need to talk to you."**

"Sup." Said Gilbert. "Found anything yet?"

"**Toris and Raivis believe they have found where Matthew is being held. They shall be freeing him tonight if all goes according to plan."** Said Ivan happily.

"Just tell me where the place is." He growled.

"**Now Gilbert If I did that you would end up killing everyone there. Do you really think Matthew wants to see you looking like a crazy blood drenched psycho animal?"**

"... I guess..."

"**But anyway... The time is right to break the curse. I will have Eduard pick you up tonight. If you want to be freed tonight is the best chance da."**

"Okay then... See you later than..." Gilbert sighed and hung up his phone. He would have gone to save Matthew himself but Ivan was right. If he went to save Matthew now he would just end up killing everyone and scaring the poor Canadian.

"Who was that?" Asked Alfred.

"Just West." Said Gilbert. "Talking about random shit and wanting to know if I was coming home anytime soon."

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Matthew had already figured out what his fate was ever since he saw the dagger in Ivan's hands. Ivan was going to get Gilbert to stab him with the blade of seven. '_Clever..._' Thought Matthew. '_That was his plan all along. Play the part of the caring fool and get everyone else to do things for you. You never even have to lift a finger._' Ivan put the dagger away on a protective case and walked upstairs leaving Matthew alone. '_I wonder if I can walk now._'

Toris and Raivis walked into Matthew's cell. "Is he okay?" Asked Raivis.

"I don't know." Said Toris. He walked over to Matthew and unlocked him from his shackle. "Come on Matthew. Time to go." He grabbed Matthew's arm and pulled him to his feet. Matthew flinched slightly. His legs were numb and pain shot through them. He wasn't entirely sure if it was all from being numb or because his ass still hurt.

'_So I'm being moved? Does it matter where? I guess not... I guess their taking me to where I'm going to die..._' A small smile payed across his face. '_How nice... It would just grate if I died and stayed dead this time..._'

"Is he okay?" Asked Raivis again. "He's making a creepy face."

"Don't be rude." Said Toris. "We just need to get him into the car."

The dragged Matthew out of the house and into a car. It was night time but the moon provided ample light. Matthew sighed. '_Of course it's a full moon._' Toris started the car and began to drive.

Matthew sighed and looked out the window, trees seemed to fly past. Suddenly Toris turned off the main road and onto a dirt road into a forest. Soon Toris stopped the car and got out. Raivis took Matthew out of the car with him. They all began to walk through the forest. Matthew didn't make a sound.

'_I wonder if I could run for it... I honestly don't want to die... but... if I have no choice..._' He heard a yelp and looked up Raivis had fallen over and grazed his knee. '_If I'm going to run this is my chance._' While Toris was helping Raivis to his feet Matthew ran for his life.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Ivan sat on a bolder and sighed. Both Eduard and Toris were taking their time bringing Matthew and Gilbert to him. "Big brother... Why even bother with Gilbert?" Asked Natalia. "When I'm right here? Marry me. Marry me. Marry me."

Ivan gulped. Oh why did he let Natalia and Katyusha stay with him? He should have just told them to stay home. "Natalia..." He said calmly. "You know it's my job to turn Fallen angels into demons... I'm just doing my job... Please stop trying to hug me..."

"Ivan!" Called Katyusha. "I saw Gilbert and Eduard heading this way!"

Ivan beamed. "Excellent! Everything is ready!" Soon Gilbert and Eduard came into view. Gilbert waved half-heartedly. "Welcome comrade."

"Whatever..." Said Gilbert. "Where's Matthew?"

"He'll be here soon."

"Mr Ivan!" Called Toris. He quickly ran into view followed closely by Raivis. "He's gone! He escaped!"

"Please don't kill us!" Trembled Raivis.

"What?" Questioned Gilbert.

Ivan beamed. "Oh I should have mentioned that for this to work we need a sacrificial lamb... but he seems to have run away. Matthew is still in the car right Toris?"

Toris gulped. "Yes... He was very tired so we let him sleep a bit more... but then the lamb ran away..."

Ivan looked at Gilbert and smiled. "Why don't you go get the lamb?"

"Huh? Why?"

Ivan tilted his head and giggled childishly. "Because I said badger."

Gilbert gasped and stumbled backwards. He felt like someone punched him in the back of the head. He could feel the adrenaline pumping through his body. He only ever felt like this when was about to snap. "What did you do to me?"

Ivan laughed. "Kolkolkol I'm just helping you... Now go fetch the little lamb."

Gilbert began to dig his fingers into his hands and he growled like a wolf. "I don't even know what the damn thing looks like."

"How to describe him..." Thought Ivan out loud. "I would say he looks cute, innocent, has pretty lavender eyes and he's bleeding a bit so it won't be that hard to find."

"Fine... Where is he?"

Ivan pointed in the direction where Toris and Raivis came from. "Happy hunting da. Just remember, bring the lamb back alive. We need it alive for the curse to be lifted."

Gilbert nodded and quickly ran off. It quickly became inconvenient for him to jut run on two legs so he gave up and started to run on all fours. Using his arms to help him leap further. Every now and then he would pick up a hand full of dirt and sniff it. He could smell small traces of blood. He was getting close.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Matthew had given up running. He had collapsed and rolled down a valley. He was lying face down next to a stream of water. The tips of his fingers skimmed the cold surface. '_How much further can I run?_'

He propped himself up on his elbows and cringed in pain. He had cut his ankle on a rock as he fell and it was bleeding. "Maple... Why did this have to happen?" Slowly he got to his feet and began to limp away. His ankle hurt more than he thought (_there was also a dull painful throbbing coming from his ass but he could ignore that_). He leaned against a tree. "There has to be a road around here somewhere..."

A branch cracked causing Matthew to jump. '_Maybe it's an animal? Like a rabbit? Please let it be a rabbit!_' A low growl told Matthew that it wasn't a rabbit and it was close. He started to run again ignoring the pain shooting up his leg. Suddenly the beast pounced on the Canadian. Matthew screamed as he hit the ground. '_I DON'T WANT TO DIE!_'

**TBC**

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><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>Well... I don't know what to say... Please review?


	31. Make a choice

**Shinigami-cat: **Well hi there beautiful people! Next chapter is up. Find out what the answer to the riddle is here... I OWN NOTHING!

**Make a choice**

_I don't know what's worth fighting for  
>Or why I have to scream<br>But now I have some clarity  
>to show you what I mean<br>I don't know how I got this way  
>I'll never be alright<br>So, I'm breaking the habit  
>I'm breaking the habit<br>I'm breaking the habit tonight_

'_Breaking the Habit' by Linkin Park_

* * *

><p>Gilbert was sitting in the study of his 1880's mansion. Hundreds of books were thrown about the room and pages were everywhere. He was sitting on the middle the floor with a pile of books stacked up high like a fort. "Brahman huh?" He mumbled. "And what is this? Oh that's cool!"<p>

There was a knock at the door. Gilbert looked up to see his butler Matthew holding a tray of pancakes and a mug of beer. "Master Beilschmidt? I have your lunch... What happened in here?"

"Nothing much Birdie." Said Gilbert. "Just doing some research. Put the food on my desk." Matthew nodded and walked over to Gilbert's desk. He moved some books and put the tray down. Gilbert held up a book. "Hey Matthew check this out! It says here that Hinduism isn't actually the name of one religion like Christianity or Judaism. It' a collection of many religions that worship many different gods... Not sure if that's accurate but it's still cool."

"Really?" Asked Matthew. "That's interesting. Well if you don't need me for anything I'll go back to cleaning your room."

Gilbert grabbed Matthew's arm. "You can do that later. Stay for a while."

Matthew blushed and sat next to Gilbert. "Um okay... Is there anything you want to talk about?"

Gilbert shrugged and put his book down. "Not really. I kind of wanted to take my mind of theology for a second. How's your day?"

Matthew's blush darkened. "Um... nothing special happened... I woke up... cleaned the house... did the laundry... some gardening... woke you up... ran a bath for you... made you lunch... nothing special." Gilbert chuckled and pulled Matthew into his arms. Matthew squeaked. "Master Beilschmidt! What are you doing?"

Gilbert sighed and breathed in Matthew's sent. He smelt like maple syrup. "Just holding you Birdie. It feels so good holding you."

"Mr Be... Be... Beilschmidt!" Cried Matthew.

Gilbert smirked and whispered into Matthew's ear. "Please call me Gilbert."

"Gilbert I Ohhh..." Moaned Matthew as Gilbert started to nip and suck his neck. He melted in Gilberts arms. Gilbert smirked against the blond's skin and kicked some books out of the way and pushed Matthew onto the floor. His skin was flushed and he was panting slightly. Gilbert straddled Matthew and held his hands over his head.

"You're so beautiful Matthew." He breathed.

"Gilbert."

"Yes Matthew?"

Matthew's eyes suddenly became wide and fearful. "Gilbert! OH GOD GILBERT!"

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Gilbert blinked a few times and shook his head. What the hell was he doing? He wasn't in his study. That place was long gone. He was in a forest hunting... a lamb? He felt something squirm underneath him he looked down and gasped in shock. It was Matthew; his face was stained with tears, scratches and bruises, his hair was matted and greasy, he had dark circles under his eyes, he looked like he was going to cry and he had purple marks on his neck... like he had been strangled.

"Matthew?" He asked. "MATTHEW!" He wrapped his arms around Matthew's waist and pulled him into a tight hug. "What the hell happened to you? It's okay. I'm here now. I'll protect you."

Matthew gripped the front of his shirt and began to cry. "Gilbert..." He sobbed. "I... I... I thought that... I... I... was afraid that... that... I..."

"It's okay Matthew." He cooed. "Calm down. It's okay."

Matthew shook his head and pushed away from Gilbert. "No it's not... I... I'm... he... and then..."

Gilbert pulled Matthew back. "It's okay Matthew. I don't care about that. You're safe... Ivan-"

"NOOOO!" Screamed Matthew. He violently struggled out of Gilbert's grasp. "KEEP HIM AWAY! KEEP HIM AWAY FROM ME!"

"Calm down Matthew." Said Gilbert calmly. "It's okay."

Matthew broke from Gilbert's grip and tried to stand up but the pain from his ankle made him fall onto his knees. His best option was to crawl away. "I can't go back there." He said with a shaky voice. "You can't make me. YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"

Gilbert was dumbfounded. He had never seen Matthew act so afraid before in his life. Stood up and was about to say something when he noticed an odd stain on the seat of Matthew's pants... It was a dark brown colour almost black. He gasped. He'd seen stains like that before many times. "Matthew... is that blood?"

Matthew froze and broke down again. "I'm sorry." He whimpered. "He forced me."

Gilbert's blood boiled. How dare someone touch what was his. How dare they hurt his Birdie. His lover. His soul mate. He went back over to Matthew and held him close again. "Who did this to you? I'll kill him."

Matthew looked into Gilbert's eyes. "You don't hate me?"

Gilbert shook his head. "How could I hate you?" He asked. "You were raped... Tell me who did it and I'll kill them."

Matthew began to cry again. "I... I though he was different." He sobbed. "He... he seemed so nice... I thought I could trust him... but he..."

"It's okay." Whispered Gilbert. "All I need is a name."

Matthew nodded. "Ivan." He whispered. "Ivan Braginski."

Gilbert's eyes went wide. '_Ivan? He... he lied to me? He hurt my Birdie? Unforgiveable. Unforgiveable. How dare he touch him. How dear he look at him. I'll fucking kill him. Unforgiveable. How dare he make my Matthew bleed. I'll kill him. Rip him apart. How dare he touch him._'

"Gilbert please... you're hurting me." Whimpered Matthew. Gilbert snapped out of his thoughts and looked down at Matthew. He was digging into his arms. Gilbert loosened his grip.

"Sorry."

Matthew nodded. "Gilbert... Is it true?"

"Is what true?"

"That you want to kill me?" He asked. "Do you want me to die and stay dead? That you... hate me?"

Gilbert shook his head. "No. I don't hate you. I've always wanted you to live no matter what happened. I love you Matthew _Ich liebe dich. _Why would you think otherwise?"

Matthew looked away from Gilbert. He brushed is finger tips over the burn mark on his hand. "Ivan... he made me touch his scar... and I saw... I saw these things... you said you hated me and wished I would stay dead for good... and you said that you loved... loved killing me."

Gilbert sighed. "Really? Did he show you all the times I would always hold you and cry for hours after I killed you? Or how whenever I go to a graveyard where your body was buried I would always leave flowers and stay with you for hours? Did he show you how much I truly grieved for you? How much I wanted to hold you? Kiss you? Beg for your forgiveness? I love you so much Matthew. I only said those things because I was scared or afraid that I couldn't break the curse before I killed you again."

Matthew sniffed and leaned into Gilbert's chest. He knew that Gilbert loved him. "Thank you Gilbert." He whispered.

Gilbert smiled and held Matthew closer. "No problem Matthew. I'll always forgive you... Now... what to do about Ivan?"

Matthew tensed up. "Let's run away. Somewhere far away where he can't find us."

"It won't work." Said Gilbert. "He'll find us... and if he doesn't find us I'll just end up killing you... We'll have to face him eventually."

Matthew shook his head. "Please don't make me see him again... I can't face him."

Gilbert kissed Matthew's head. "It's okay Matthew. Stay here and I'll be back soon." He let go of Matthew and tried to stand up.

Matthew shook his head. "NO!" He cried out. "Please don't go... Not again..."

Gilbert sighed and pushed Matthew away. "I'm sorry Matthew... but I need to... talk to Ivan. I promise you I'll come back for you." Tears welled in Matthew's eyes. "It's okay Matthew. I promise I'll come back."

Matthew gulped but nodded. "Okay..." He whispered. "I'll wait for you here... Please come back for me..."

Gilbert quickly kissed Matthew's lips. "Of course I'll come back for you. I always keep my promises." He turned and ran off leaving Matthew alone. He was going to get Ivan for what he did to Matthew. "I'll kill him."

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Ivan sighed and tapped his fingers against a tree. "What's taking him so long?" He asked.

"Maybe Matthew ran further than we thought?" Suggested Raivis.

Ivan shrugged. "Maybe."

Toris smiled half-heartedly. "I wonder how Natalia's going?"

"Since she hasn't come back yet we can assume she's fine." Said Eduard. "She was just tracking Gilbert to make sure he found Matthew after all."

"IVAN!" Roared a voice.

Ivan looked up and smiled. "Hello Gilbert. I assume you found the little lamb?"

"YOU SICK FUCK!" Screamed Gilbert. "I TRUSTED YOU AND YOU RAPED HIM!"

Ivan shrugged. "And your point is?"

Gilbert ran towards Ivan with his hands out stretched. "I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!"

Ivan easily dodged Gilbert's attack and tripped him. He grabbed Ivan by the throat and lifted him into the air. "You really think you can kill me?" He slammed him back into the ground. Gilbert clawed at Ivan's hand. Ivan laughed darkly. "You are nowhere near as strong as I am."

"Big brother!" Called Natalia. "I have a surprise for you!" Ivan looked up and beamed. Natalia was carrying an unconscious Matthew in her arms.

"What did you do to him?" Choked Gilbert.

Natalia rolled her eyes and dropped Matthew. "I hit him in the head with a branch. He'll be fine in a few minutes."

Ivan let Gilbert go. He immediately went to Matthew's side. He held him close and glared daggers at Ivan. "I'll kill you." He hissed.

"Gilbert..." Mumbled Matthew.

Gilbert ran his fingers through Matthew's hair. "I'm here Matthew. It's okay."

Ivan clapped his hands. "Well now that we're all here we can start the ceremony." He looked over at Toris who gave him the blade of seven. Ivan took it and looked back at Gilbert. "This is what you were collecting the blood for. To create the blade of seven."

"The blade of what?"

"The blade of seven..." Mumbled Matthew. "Can kill anything and everything... Ivan wants you to kill me with it."

"That's right." Said Ivan. "The blade of seven can kill anything. Even a soul that is cursed to come back every twenty years." Ivan smirked and pointed the handle at Gilbert. "In other words... Stab Matthew to death with this and he will never be reincarnated. His soul will be sent to hell where it will stay for all eternity and you will be free from your curse."

Gilbert growled and held Matthew protectively. "Fuck off. I'm not going to kill Matthew ever again."

Ivan shrugged. "Then have fun staying cursed."

Gilbert felt something tug at his shirt. He looked down into Matthew's eyes; they seemed so dull, lifeless, and weeping. "Gilbert... he's right."

Gilbert's jaw dropped. "What? What are you talking about Matthew?"

"You have to kill me." He said. "If... if you don't you're just going to end up killing me anyway." Tears poured down Matthew's face. "I... I know how much it hurts you to kill me... but just do it... one last time... Then you won't have to do it again... you'll be free."

Gilbert couldn't believe what he was hearing. Matthew was actually asking Gilbert to kill him. That was insane. "Matthew? Do you know what you're asking me to do?"

Matthew shook his head. "I'm not asking you Gilbert. I'm telling you. Please... Kill me. I want you to live without having to worry that you'll kill me again."

Gilbert shook his head. "I can't Matthew... I've only ever wanted to see you live."

"JUST DO IT!" Screamed Matthew. "Please... You're going to kill me eventually... So just do it now."

Ivan chuckled. "Listen to reason Gilbert. He speaks the truth." He held the dagger out to Gilbert again. "You can still kill him."

Gilbert hesitated but took the dagger. He gripped it tightly in his hand. He gently pushed Matthew backwards so he was lying down. "Is this really what you want?" He asked.

Matthew nodded. "I just want this to end... please Gilbert."

Gilbert bit his lip. "Do you really want to die?"

Matthew shook his head. "No... But I don't have a choice."

Gilbert bit his lip so hard he started to bleed. '_What am I going to do? I can't kill Matthew again. It's so not awesome... What am I going to do?_'

"We don't have all day." Said Ivan.

Gilbert took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "So I only have two options? Kill Matthew now and end this curse or refuse to kill him now and kill him later on letting the curse continue?"

"Da that's right." Said Ivan. Gilbert looked into Matthew's eyes again. He was crying and just looked so spent and tired, like he had given up. He looked at the blade of seven. He killed seven people to make it and now he was meant to kill Matthew with it.

"This blade... It can kill anything right?" Asked Gilbert. "No chance of it coming back ever?"

Ivan nodded. "That's correct da."

Gilbert nodded. He leaned over Matthew and kissed him softly and whispered. "I'm sorry Matthew. I never wanted this. Please forgive me."

"It's okay." Whispered Matthew. "I forgive you."

Gilbert moved back and lifted the dagger high above his head. He took a deep breath and plunged the knife down into soft flesh.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Matthew gasped. Hot blood ran down his chest but it wasn't his blood, no it was Gilbert's. He had plunged the knife deep into his own chest. "Damn." Growled Gilbert. "That hurt more than I thought." He fell to his side and groaned.

"GILBERT!" Cried Matthew. He held Gilbert in his arms.

"HE STABBED HIMSELF!" Screamed Katyusha, Raivis and Toris in unison.

"I didn't see that coming." Said Natalia.

"Why?" Asked Matthew. "Why did you do that?"

"Because." Groaned Gilbert. "I thought about how unawesome life would be without you so I decided to end my own life instead." He coughed up some blood and sighed. "Besides I wouldn't have been able to live with the guilt if I killed you again... I've only ever wanted to see you alive... alive... Damn I'm an idiot..."

"What?" Asked Matthew.

Gilbert grinned. "I am a word. I'm a sad word, such a terribly sad and lonely word. I mean anger, pain, malice, suicide, murder, death, wrath and jealousy. I can occasionally mean love, happiness, life and beauty. I'm used almost every day but no one knows what I mean. What am I? Matthew... I'm alive. I'm alive."

Matthew shook his head. "But Gilbert... being alive doesn't mean that at all..."

"Yes it does." Wheezed Gilbert. "When you're alive you experience these things. People say that they are alive or at least living almost every day, but no one knows what it really means to be alive. The answer to the riddle is alive. I am alive."

Matthew smiled and cried. "It took you so long to figure it out... and now it's too late."

"Nothing is ever too late Birdie." Said Gilbert. He coughed and rested his head against the ground. "Maybe it is... I don't care."

Matthew shook his head and held Gilbert close. "Please... don't leave me... If you go... I'll kill myself."

"Don't do that." Whispered Gilbert. "If you do that... then there was no point in me doing this... The only thing I ever wanted was to see you live Matthew... live and be happy..." Matthew kept crying. He couldn't believe that Gilbert was dying. He refused to believe it. Gilbert reached up and wiped away Matthew's tears. "No more tears Matthew... Don't waste them on me..."

Gilbert closed his eyes and exhaled for the last time. Matthew couldn't help it. He held Gilbert's lifeless body in his arms and cried. He felt something soft brush against his face. He opened his eyes and blinked. It was a moth. A silver and white moth. Suddenly there was another and another. Matthew looked down at Gilbert and gasped in shock. Gilbert was turning into moths... hundreds of them, all silver and white like Gilbert's skin and hair. Except for two moths that were blood red like Gilbert's eyes.

It was the most beautiful and tragic thing Matthew had ever seen in his life. "Gilbert... please I love you..." He whispered.

"YOU BASTARD!" Screamed Ivan. "YOU FUCKED EVERYTHING UP!" He grabbed a knife out of Natalia's hands and marched over to Matthew. He was too afraid to move. Ivan kicked Matthew in the jaw knocking the blond flat on his back. "YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!" He continued to kick Matthew. "FUCKING DIE! DIE YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!"

Matthew coughed up some blood and whimpered. '_Haven't I suffered enough?_'

"AHHHHH!" Cried Katyusha. "The moths are coming back!" It was true too. The moths were flying back in a huge swarm and surrounded around Ivan, who tried to swat them away.

Matthew looked at the scene in shock. Suddenly the red moths landed on Matthew's glasses obscuring his vision. He was about to brush them away when he heard screaming.

"AHHHH! GET THEM OFF ME!" Screamed Ivan.

"There moving too fast!" Cried Toris. "Ouch! My hand!"

"We have to save big brother!" Cried Natalia.

"Natalia stay back!" Cried Katyusha. "We can't save him! We have to run! Sorry Ivan!"

"THERE COMING THIS WAY!" Screamed Raivis!

"RUN!" Cried Eduard. The screams of Ivan's underlings as they fled into the night and the continuous screams of Ivan filled Matthew's ears.

"DAMN YOU GILBERT! DAMN YOU! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Suddenly everything was quiet. The red moths flew off Matthew's glasses and re-joined the swarm of white and silver. Matthew looked at where Ivan once stood. All that was left was a frayed and blood stained scarf. He looked back at the swarm. It hovered slightly in front of Matthew for a second before flying off into the night.

Matthew closed his eyes and collapsed. He was exhausted. Everything that happened was just too much. He fell to the ground looking up at the stars. They shone and twinkled so beautifully like the wings of the moths. Matthew closed his eyes and the last of his tears fell from his eyes. He was quickly pulled into sleep

**TBC**

* * *

><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>That was so tragic... yet beautiful... THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER! Please review please!


	32. How to mend a broken soul

**Shinigami-cat: **Well this is the last chapter... Not much to say now... I OWN NOTHING!

**How to mend a broken soul**

_All this pain  
>Take this life and make it yours.<br>All this hate take your heart and let it love again.  
>You will survive it somehow.<em>

_Life starts now._  
><em>You've done all the things that could kill you somehow and you're so far down.<em>  
><em>Life starts now.<em>  
><em>You've done all the things that could kill you somehow and you're so far down.<em>  
><em>Life starts now.<em>

'_Life starts now' by Three Days Grace_

* * *

><p>Matthew woke up to the sound of the rhythmical beating of a heart monitor. Matthew blinked a few times and cringed. His whole body hurt so much. He looked around the room. All completely white and the disgusting smell antiseptic filled his nose. "Gross..." He mumbled.<p>

"MATTHEW!" Screamed Alfred as he glomped Matthew. Since when was Alfred in the room? "Matthew... I thought you might have... Dude it's been a month! A FUCKING MONTH! Where have you been?"

Matthew thought for a second. It seemed best to leave Alfred in the dark about what had actually happened. "I can't remember." He said. "The last thing I remember is walking through the park."

Alfred sighed. "Well maybe that' for the best. I mean I probably wouldn't want to remember anything that happened if I were you."

The door opened and Kiku walked in with two cups of coffee. "I got you your coffee Alfred. Oh Matthew kun. It's so good to see you awake." He gave Alfred his coffee who happily took it.

Matthew looked up at the ceiling and sighed. "How did I get here?"

"Some hikers found you up in the forest." Said Alfred. "I'm just glad that you're alive."

Matthew sighed. "Thanks Alfred... Would you mind leaving? I'm tired."

Alfred smiled his hero grin and patted Matthew on the head. "Sure bro. I'll visit you later okay?"

When Kiku and Alfred were gone Matthew began to cry. Gilbert was gone, dead, never coming back and it was all his fault. "Gilbert... Why did you do it? How could you? I can't live without you..."

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

It had been months since Gilbert had died. But no one seemed to notice. Francis, Antonio and Ludwig were just under the impression that he had just run off in an attempt to stop himself from killing Matthew.

There was an investigation being held about the disappearance of Ivan Braginski that had been closed due to the lack of evidence.

Matthew had sunk into depression. He contemplated killing himself but he couldn't bring himself to do it. After all it had been Gilbert dying wish that he lived. But he considered himself dead. He wakes up, goes to school, does his homework, eats dinner and goes to sleep. He acts like a zombie. Going through life without actually living. When he isn't doing anything he just sits in his room with the lights out holding Kuma and Gillian (_The bear Gilbert won for him at the carnival that one time_) and thinks about what could have been.

Today was no different. He was sitting in his room with Kuma and Gillian in his lap. '_What would we be doing?_' He asked himself. '_If Gilbert was still alive what would we be doing right now?_'

The door to his room slowly opened and in walked Alfred. "How are you feeling Matthew?" Matthew shrugged and didn't look at him. Alfred sighed and turned on the light. "It's way too dark in here. You need to let a little light into your life." He drew back the curtains and opened the window letting in the natural light and breeze. "You sure you're going to be okay?"

"I'll be fine." He mumbled. "It's a nice day out isn't it?"

Alfred sighed. "Why don't you come outside for a bit? You haven't been outside in ages."

"I'd rather stay home." Matthew said.

Alfred frowned and walked towards the door. "If you need anything give me a call."

"I will." Said Matthew. When Alfred was gone Matthew closed his eyes and drifted back into sleep. The only place he could see Gilbert again. A place where they could live without regrets. Place where they never bled.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Matthew sighed contently in Gilbert's warm arms. Everything was right in his world. Gilbert held him close and nuzzled Matthew's soft hair. It just felt so good. The grass that they were sitting on was soft and cool. The pond was crystal clear. The clouds slowly rolled past. And they were sitting under that shade of a tree. It was paradise.

"I'm sorry you died." Whispered Matthew.

Gilbert chuckled. "It's okay Birdie. I would kill myself a million times just to keep you safe."

"I don't feel safe unless I'm with you."

Gilbert pressed gentle kisses onto Matthew's face. "I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?"

Tears fell from Matthew's eyes. "I'll always forgive you Gilbert. Why would you ask that?"

"Because I wanted to know if you really do forgive me." He said. "I didn't want to assume."

Matthew smiled. "I'll always forgive you Gilbert." Gilbert grinned and pulled Matthew as close to himself as he could. Matthew sighed and closed his eyes. He could hear the soft sounds of a guitar playing in his head. It was soft and beautiful.

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Matthew yawned and sat up. The sound of the guitar filled his room. '_Alfred must be listening to the radio._' It sounded quite nice so Matthew listened to it.

_My hands are searching for you  
>My arms are outstretched towards you<br>I feel you on my fingertips  
>My tongue dances behind my lips for you<em>

_This fire rising through my being_  
><em>Burning I'm not used to seeing you<em>

_I'm alive_

_I'm alive  
><em>

Matthew could feel tears roll down his face. For some reason the song reminded him a little about Gilbert. Especially the whole I'm alive thing.

_I can feel you all around me  
>Thickening the air I'm breathing<br>Holding on to what I'm feeling  
>Savouring this heart that's healing<br>_

Matthew sighed. He couldn't listen to that song anymore. He got up and went to find the radio.

_My hands float up above me  
>And you whisper you love me<br>And I begin to fade  
>Into our secret place<em>

_The music makes me sway_  
><em>The angels singing say we are alone with you<em>  
><em>I am alone and they are too with you<em>

_I'm alive_  
><em>I'm alive<em>

As Matthew walked down the hall to Alfred's room he realized that the music wasn't coming from Alfred' room at all. In fact it was just getting quieter the further away from his room he got. So he went back to his room to try and find the source of the music.

_I can feel you all around me  
>Thickening the air I'm breathing<br>Holding on to what I'm feeling  
>Savouring this heart that's healing<em>

_So I cry_  
><em>(Holy)<em>  
><em>The light is white<em>  
><em>(Holy)<em>  
><em>And I see you<em>

_I'm alive_  
><em>I'm alive<em>  
><em>I'm alive<em>

He looked around his room but there wasn't a radio or anything in his room. He sighed. "This is ridiculous. Where the hell is it coming from?"

A sudden chirp from the yellow bird of awesomeness made Matthew turn. Gilbird was sitting on the windowsill bouncing and jumping around in an enthusiastic manner.

Matthew walked over to the window to pick up Gilbird but he flew away. Matthew followed the bird with his eyes. He flew high into the air and swooped down to nest in a man's silver hair.

Matthew's jaw dropped. Gilbert was standing on the lawn with a guitar playing the music that he was hearing.

_And I can feel you all around me  
>Thickening the air I'm breathing<br>Holding on to what I'm feeling  
>Savouring this heart that's healing<em>

_Take my hand_  
><em>I give it to you<em>  
><em>Now you own me<em>  
><em>All I am<em>  
><em>You said you would never leave me<em>  
><em>I believe you<em>  
><em>I believe<em>

_I can feel you all around me_  
><em>Thickening the air I'm breathing<em>  
><em>Holding on to what I'm feeling<em>  
><em>Savouring this heart that's healed<em>

When Gilbert had finished the song he looked up at Matthew. His dazzling ruby red meeting Matthew's lavender. "Can I come in?" He asked.

Matthew didn't answer him. Instead practically ran down the stairs. He couldn't believe that it was Gilbert. He opened the door and tackled Gilbert to the ground. "I... I thought you were dead!" Cried Matthew. "I saw you die... How is this possible?"

Gilbert chuckled and held Matthew close. "Didn't I promise you that I would come back for you? The awesome me always keeps his promises!"

Matthew broke down and cried. "You did didn't you... You came back for me."

Gilbert picked up Matthew and carried him back to his bedroom. When they were both in Matthew's bedroom Gilbert groaned. "Fuck... I left Antonio's guitar outside... I'll get it later..." He sat next to Matthew and sighed. It had felt like forever since he had held Matthew like this.

"How... how are you here?" Whispered Matthew. "Am I dreaming again? If I am I don't want to wake up."

"You aren't dreaming." Said Gilbert. "Now let's see... I am here because I am awesome."

Matthew laughed. He missed Gilbert justifying everything by saying he's awesome. "I know that." He said. "But how?"

Gilbert smirked. "Oh let's see... I shall entitle this tail as um... Gilbert's awesome adventure! It all started when I died... All good stories start at the end right? So anyway..."

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

Gilbert sighed. He had no idea where the hell he was. All he really knew was that he wasn't in hell. He sat up and stretched. His body felt so relaxed and calm, like he had just woken up from a nap. He looked down at himself and was surprised to see he was wearing a white robe. Something soft brushed against his arm. He looked to see what it was and his jaw dropped.

"I... I have wings? I HAVE WINGS!" He jumped up and flew around in a circle. "Sweet baby Jesus I have wings! I'm an angel again! I'M A MOTHER FUCKING ANGEL! HA HA HA! Look at me fly! I'M AN ANGEL! Wait a second... shouldn't I be in hell now?"

"Perhaps." Boomed a voice.

Gilbert nearly shit himself. He fell to the ground and bowed. "Sorry I was swearing before. Sorry God." Gilbert may have been a loud mouth but he gave respect where it was due. "Didn't mean too. I'm just shocked that I'm well... here and not there... Can I ask why I'm here?"

"Did you answer the riddle?"

"Yes?"

"Then you are here."

"... Thanks for clearing that up..."

"Are you happy you are here?"

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't happy that I'm not burning in hell."

"But are you happy here?"

"..."

"Are you happy Gilbert? You answered the riddle before you died. You have a second chance."

"That' nice..."

"I can give you a choice. You can either become Matthew's Guardian angel again, but never appear to him as a human or you can become human and live with him until you die. Those are your choices."

Gilbert smiled. "Really? I get a choice?"

"Do you believe you get a choice?"

Gilbert sighed. "Answer a question with another question... Well... As much as I'd like to stay an angel... I'd rather stay with Matthew because even heaven is hell without Matthew."

"Is that your final decision?"

"Did Jesus die and rise again after three days?"

**XoXoXo page brake oXoXoX**

"... Next thing I knew I was in my room." Said Gilbert. "And that's the end of Gilbert's awesome adventure. Pretty cool huh?"

"But... why did it take you so long to come back?" Asked Matthew.

"Time works differently there." Said Gilbert. "One day here can be a minute there... and a million years here and be a second there." He pressed a kiss against Matthew's neck. "I didn't realize I was gone for so long. Sorry." Another kiss. "Can you forgive me?"

"I always will." Said Matthew.

Gilbert grinned and kissed Matthew's lips. Matthew kissed back immediately. How he missed this. Gilbert licked and sucked Matthew's lip. Matthew opened his mouth and Gilbert' tongue dived right in and explored the hot wet cavity. Matthew moaned and wrapped his arms around Gilbert's neck deepening the kiss. They pulled away and gasped for air.

Before Matthew could stop him Gilbert had pulled off Matthew's shirt and began to assault his body with kisses and bites. "Gilbert." Moaned the blond. Gilbert chuckled and took off his shirt.

"You know what's really cool Birdie?" Breathed Gilbert. "Those stupid scars are gone." Matthew shook his head and smiled. Gilbert was such an idiot sometimes.

Suddenly the door opened and in walked Alfred with a guitar. "Matthew there was a guitar... I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU!"

"HOLY SHIT!" Screamed Gilbert. He jumped off the bed and tried to run to the door but Alfred blocked his way. "CUT ME SOME SLACK ALFRED!"

"DIE!" Screamed Alfred as he crash tackled Gilbert.

Matthew watched the scene unfold before him and suddenly burst out laughing. Alfred and Gilbert looked at him with shocked faces. "Matthew?" Asked Alfred. "Dude I think we broke his brain..."

"Your fault not mine." Said Gilbert.

"I'm fine." Said Matthew. "It's just... I've missed this." He got off the bed and grabbed Alfred's arm. "Now as for you... today you will not chase Gilbert out of the house screaming bloody murder, you will not chase him with a hockey stick and you will not beat Gilbert to a bloody pulp... Today you will go outside, go to the shops, go for a walk, talk to Kiku or whatever... I don't are. Just as long as you're out of the house."

"But Matthew! He'll defile you! Taint you!" Cried Alfred.

Matthew pushed Alfred out of his room and smiled. "Sorry to tell you Alfred but he already has. See you around seven okay?" He slammed the door in Alfred's face.

Gilbert laughed. "Damn that was awesome. So shall we pick up where we left off?" Matthew smiled and wrapped his arms around Gilbert's neck again. This time they could live their lives together without the fear of dying. This time things were doing to be different.

**The End**

* * *

><p><strong>Shinigami-cat: <strong>It's all over! Thank you everyone for reading and supporting me through this whole story. **I am writing a sequel called _Pure Priceless Insanity._** Your reviews have made me so happy and encouraged me to continue to write! Thank you all. I will continue to write my stuff and I might even finish some of the stories I discontinued... So thank you all and now... time to give some virtual awards to some people.

The funniest review prize goes to...

**DiscombobulatedCanadian **

'_Oh my! I thought Gilbert actually killed him! You scared the black Jesus out of me!'_

The most random review I've ever gotten prize goes to...

**fallendeHimmel**

'_Holy crap, I wanna know what's happening shhsthsdfadjvac kvnwajebfkjasndc thatsallicansaytoomuchtoosay_'

The most reviews prize goes to...

**PruCan4evar **

With a total of 23 reviews

The 69th review prize goes to...

**fallendeHimmel**

Because I'm just that immature

The review that made me feel most like a moron prize goes to...

**natcat5**

'_This story is sooo good. The truth was heart breaking and I kind of hate you for making me support the FrUK over USUK. I'm really not a FrUK fan but in this story..._

_Just a note though, It's 'mein gott' not 'mine'.'_

The best reaction when finding out what the answer to the riddle goes to...

**Wicked-as-possible**

'_T-that... you killed GILBERT! I am alive... smart, You should've seen my sisters faces when I told them the answer. Gobsmacked.'_

And finally the award for someone who threatened me into writing a happy ending prize goes to...

**Bow Meister Artemis**

'_... *cough* Well... You better bring Gilbert back, or I swear... I will come to Australia, and threaten you with that chainsaw of yours until you bring him back. You have 2 chapters to do so. Until then I will watch Doctor Who. And as a parting note, bow ties are cool.'_

Once again thank you all! I am forever grateful that you bothered to read my stuff! I love you all! Thank you all so much! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! You've all made me so happy! Thank you and fair well! I hope to see you review my other works in the future! Asta la pasta!


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